Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Beautiful Progressive Mind

I am celebrating 4/20 day today. Yes, I am well aware that it is April 22nd and many of my cohorts in cannabis consumption have already celebrated this holiday two days ago, it's just that weed makes me procrastinate. Besides, I was all out of stash until today because my neighbor bogarted my supply (along with my Fritos) and I haven't had the means to replenish my stockpile until today when my Obama money was deposited.

I just want to take this opportunity to thank y'all who are still working for your contribution, as I blog through the blue haze of a freed mind. Suddenly Obama is making a tremendous amount of sense to me. I only hope that my ash cloud doesn't cause any more airline delays...

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I believe I know what this is all about and I am ouraged!
Arizona lawmakers on Tuesday passed one of the toughest pieces of immigration-enforcement legislation in the country, which would make it a violation of state law to be in the U.S. without proper documentation.

It would also grant police the power to stop and verify the immigration status of anyone they suspect of being illegal.
We are supposed to believe that the timing of this legislation, on the eve of the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs between the Detroit Red Wings and the Phoenix Coyotes, is purely coincidental, right? Well I'm not buying this mister!

The overwhelming majority of the Wings are foreign born, hailing from Canada, Sweden, Russia and Finland. Of course, that holds true for Phoenix, as well as every other NHL team. The fact that all of the Wing's papers are in order does not preclude Phoenix authorities from rounding them up for an immigration check, say a half hour before game time tonight. REAL CLASSY ARIZONA!

Well I say, bring it on. The Wings will still be left with two forwards, two defensemen, and their starting goalie. They'll play short-handed for the entire game one and STILL beat the Coyotes.

Presumed Red Wing lineup for Game One:
F - Justin Abdelkader - Muskegon, Michigan
F - Drew Miller Dover, - New Jersey
D - Brett Lebda - Buffalo Grove, Illinois
D - Brian Rafalski - Dearborn, Michigan
G - Jimmy Howard - Syracuse, New York

Rest up boys! I believe you'll be getting all the ice time you want. CAGE THOSE MANGY COYOTES!

Illeism - the act of referring to oneself in the third person

DaBlade believes we have to add to this list.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

CT EXCLUSIVE: Another Adoption Gone Bad

The 48-year-old Obama was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Kenya today by his American adoptive citizens with a note pinned to his lapel that read:
To whom it may concern,
For the safety of our security, economy, and future, we no longer wish to be governed by this community organizer. He has severe psychopathic issues and socialist behavior. We were misled and lied to during his campaign about this man-child’s mental stability.
We The People

Oh yah, here is an unrelated story about some russian kid.


Englers Back in Michigan
Former Michigan Gov. John Engler and his wife, Michelle, have bought a lakefront home in Shiawassee County, fueling speculation about a return to politics.
Engler, a Republican, has declined to address questions about whether the move might signal an interest in a 2012 campaign, when U.S. Sen. Debbie Stabenow, a Democrat, faces re-election.
No offense to my neighbors in Shiawassee County, but if I was a former governor of this once great state and I was going to spend half a million dollars on a quiet retirement home in Michigan - with NO INTEREST IN RETURNING TO POLITICS - I can think of half a million better places than one which happens to be 20 miles northeast of Lansing.

So would Engler's return to politics be a good thing or a bad thing for Michigan?

To answer that, all you need do is scan some of the comments in the above linked article. Keep yesterday's lesson, (liberalism is a brain disorder) in mind if you do. Here is my favorite so far... "Good luck John..We have long memories..Don't even think of running for office here..Your support of Bush and the economic policies that devastated Michigan will never be forgiven..Try Texas, you should be able to beat that jerk they currently have there.."

That is actually quite mild in comparison to most of the hate-filled, intolerant and ignorant comments from the majority of libtards in this state. Do you want more evidence that Engler was a great governor other than the fact that he is despised by the left?

Let's take a look at just how Engler's policies "devasted Michigan", shall we?

Michigan Governor John Engler 1991-1997 Accomplishments

Let's just look at the top 3 here...

BEFORE ENGLER: In 1990, unemployment was 7.6 percent. I know this sounds low in Obama's world, but back then it was -- the worst among the nation's 10 largest states.
AFTER ENGLER: Unemployment is (1997) a record low 4.0 percent -- the strongest job market in America.

BEFORE ENGLER: Michigan was losing jobs and families to other states. Sound familiar?
AFTER ENGLER: Michigan companies have created more than 500,000 jobs since 1991.

BEFORE ENGLER: Property taxes were third highest in the nation.
AFTER ENGLER:Biggest tax cut in history reduced school property taxes by more than 80 percent.

So in a perfect world, Engler replaces Stabenow in the senate, and Ted Nugent replaces Granholm in the governor's mansion on Mackinaw Island. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Monday, April 12, 2010

"uhhh... I'm Pro-Choice Because I Said So!"

This story made me sick to my stomach - Gendercide: China's shameful massacre of unborn girls means there will soon be 30m more men than women

Apparently it's not uncommon in communist China for beautiful baby girls to be left to die in nearby gutters, what with their "one child" policy, and given the fact that females are not afforded any value above chattel in their culture. These "mothers" are simply exerting their right to choose under legalized abortion, are they not?

"You are only a girl. You are spilt water."

Surely even the staunchest so-called "pro-choice" women in this country can no longer rationalize their barbaric views regarding abortion, can they? How could they denounce this massacre of their own gender and yet still condone the practice of infanticide in any form in this country?

The "choice" can't be any clearer. Either you embrace your neighbor's "unenumerated right" to murder their own child or you must accept the fact that abortion is an abomination in all cases.

...and the results are in. Feminazis can speak out of both sides of their piehole.

and the signs said...

so I tucked my hair up under my hat, and I went in to ask them why?

"Just because I'm pro-choice doesn't mean I'm pro-abortion!"

Sorry libs, you can't have your fetus and eat it too.

Liberalism really is a brain disorder. It is the only way I can see how they can justify their twisted belief system, and therefore you hold little chance of swaying a liberal to the right side of an issue.

It got me to thinking that logic and reasoning works just as well with a liberal as it does with a protective mother. That is meant to be a smooth segue into the following, which is really all I wanted to blog about today.

My older brother Greg likes to tell the story about when he was a teenager (17 or 18?) and wanted to go on a weekend bike trip (10-speeds, not Harleys) up north with some neighborhood buddies. Now brother Greg, being a bright yet devious teenager, knew that mother would have initial doubts about giving her approval, and so brother Greg formulated his strategy in advance. He wanted to ensure, through the sheer power of his logic, that she would be forced to acquiesce and let him go. Like a boxer who choreographs his moves before entering the ring, Greg felt he had the knockout punch, if it even came to that. You see, he knew the story of our father running away and jumping trains cross-country when he was but just 13-years-old. A little 'ol bike ride pales in comparison to this, and even mother couldn't argue the fact that her husband was a fine man no worse for wear.

Now I know I am drawing this out, and you no doubt are ahead of me when I tell you that our mother flatly rejected him at every turn. If this was in fact a boxing match, my brother's punches were sad and feeble efforts and mother's chin was made of iron.

"It's just for a few days."
"We will not be taking the main roads."
"My friend's parents are letting them go!"

Seeing that his jabs were ineffective against mom's rope-a-dope "just say no" coverup, he went for the "dad jumped trains as a boy" roundhouse uppercut, and asked how she could still say "no" in light of this new evidence. she blocked and countered with a devastating blow of "BECAUSE I SAID SO" one-punch knockout shiver.

Now whenever one of us was sent to the canvas in this fashion by mom rejecting our plea, we almost always falsely assumed she did so without prejudice, and interpretted her "BECAUSE I SAID SO" to mean "go ask your father".

So brother Greg goes to our dad and tells him what happened, asking him to intercede with mom. Since our father was not a crack user, he very rarely thought it prudent to overrule her. When brother Greg laid out his plea to our dad, his wise response has lived on in our family's history, and it is a lesson I have tried very hard to pass down to the next generation with my sons.

"Son, you make a reasonable argument for a reasonable man. However, there is something I think you need to understand. Your mother is no reasonable man."

I shouldn't have to make the obvious distinction between the motivations of a protective mother to that of a protective liberal, so I won't. Consider it your homework assignment.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Obama the Destroyer, and other one-liners

I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers." - Henny Youngman (and Obama's economic policy)

So Obama the Destroyer gets to replace another left wing loon on the high court now that John Paul Stevens has announced his intention to retire.
A Republican named to the court in 1975 by President Gerald R. Ford, Stevens leaves a legacy of defending abortion rights, expanding protection for gays, restricting the availability of the death penalty and ensuring a robust role for judges in interpreting the nation's laws and curbing executive power.
This is just the latest collision in the slow-moving train wreck that is this president. He has already left his debt-laden, economy-destroying mark on this country for a minimum of several generations by spending money we don't have like a drunken Kenyan pirate. He now gets to leave his permanent stain on the high court once again by replacing the bow-tie-wearing ignoramous with a younger, more radical version.

"But DaBlade," you say. "If you've seen one godless lib, you've seen them all. Who cares if Obama replaces one liberal justice with another? We are no worse off after all."

Well, status quo kinda sucks, dontcha think? Especially after 50+ million dead baby corpses (and counting) continue to pile up at the altar of the so-called supreme Court, after their perverted and sick Roe V. Wade decision in 1973. I have always held out hope that I would live to see the day when sanity and morality were restored to this country with the overturning of this "abortion" of justice. It would take a solid majority of Originalist Justices who actually follow the Constitution for this to happen.

What are the chances Obama will nominate someone who holds the Constitution in esteem and not contempt, when he himself has stated he believes it is "deeply flawed"?

"I, Barack Hussein Obama, promise to take a daily constitutional on the Constitution, and to flush this fundamentally flawed document down the toilet with every nomination opportunity I get, so help me... errr... myself"

First came that wise Latina woman to replace David "empty" Souter. Now comes the hundred and twenty something John Paul Stevens, who never had the decency to assume room temperature during the Bush years. Next up, Ruth Buzzi Hindenburg, and all during Obama's first and only term. Unless, of course, he is impeached before then.

Speaking of potential nominees, and in the spirit of the late/great comedian Henny Youngan, all I can say is...


Just be forewarned. If he does, the joke is on you.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Vision Restored For Three Formally Blind Mice!

Obamacare is no sooner signed into law and suddenly scientists find a cure for mice blindness. Coincidence? Faux News would have you think so. Excuse me, but mice sight is a right, not a priviledge where I come from people.

Praise Gaia, what a miraculous healing! I'm sure my fellow Earthers will agree that this is what Spring Holiday is all about! Rodents who can now find their way to the stash of government cheese.

Please enjoy my new version of this classic and violent nursery ryhme:

Three formally blind mice. Three formally blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
A non-viral, synthetic nanoparticle was used,
And cured their retinitis pigmentosa docs mused,
But nothing can be done for the tails they losed,
Three formally blind mice.

BTW, what's up with the farmer's wife and that carving knife? Obviously she is part of some right wing tea party fringe group and the farmer and his neighbors are some sort of militia.