VOICEOVER ANNOUNCER GUY: Are you tired of those intolerant and homophobic Christians on your FaceBook feed who cling to their deeply held religious convictions by so far refusing to "celebrate pride" by overlaying their profile pictures with the rainbow filter tool? Well now you can do something about it!
New! From RumpCo! Introducing the Circle Twerk!
convert black and white TVs to color,
but now you can...
by force those pesky homophobic CHRISTIAN friends...
Just set the Circle Twerk wheel in front of your laptop, iPad, cellphone or other viewing device, and give that circle a twerk! INSTANT PRIDE!
JOHNNY: But announcer guy, there are only red, blue, green, and yellow cellophane inserts. The rainbow flag also includes orange and purple!
ANNOUNCER GUY: Just spin the Circle Twerk faster, Johnny. I have a warehouse full of these things, so I don't know what else to tell ya!
IT'S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!
JOHNNY: UH OH! GRAMPA ISN'T WEARING ANY PANTS AGAIN!
ANNOUNCER GUY: Don't worry, Johhny! Grampa is just proudly displaying to the world and the 2% who are actually gay, his support of buggery and sodomy! The Supreme Court has ruled 5-4 declaring that same-sex marriage is a right, therefore the 75% who identify as Christian will just need to change their beliefs. Right Mr. President?
Whoops! Don't look now grampa, but I think Johnny dropped the remote control again!
COMING SOON! The Circle Twerk bicycle helmet mount!
The Big Six-Five! - *TODAY!* What a shame that the body *has betrayed* the mind as I've aged! At least I still look young enough to wear this shirt, a gift from my homeschoo...
2 hours ago