A CORNY SATURDAY

This Halloween, you may want to think twice before entering the local corn maze. Sure, the idea of paying $50 bucks admission for the opportunity to allow your family of 5 to wander aimlessly through fields of vegetation sounds like a bargain at the onset. However, I have found most of these fields to be completely over-picked by October. There's not even any "wind blowns" to munch on like we do at the apple orchard.

Bryn Mickle, Flint Journal police reporter, has done it again with his latest Offbeat: Children in the corn -- Maze prompts 911 call

If you plan on heading out to the Shriners corn maze at Circus Park in Vienna Township,bring some bread crumbs. A family of five made it halfway through the 2.9-mile maze last weekend when they got turned around out at marker 10. With the map no apparent help and the youngest child starting to freak out, the family called out -- to 911. Genesee County Sheriff's deputies quickly tracked them down and led them to safety. Organizers said it was the first time in the maze's two years of operation that anyone has resorted to calling police to get out.

EXCLUSIVE!
Chatteringteeth has the call transcript here:

OPERATOR: 911, what is your emergency?
CALLER: I'm lost in a corn maze and I can't get out!

OPERATOR: Did you get separated from your mommy or daddy little guy?
CALLER: I'm not a "little guy". This is Mr. Jones and I'm here with my wife and three kids.

OPERATOR: ...and you claim to be stuck in a corn maze, yet you figured out how to operate a cell phone?
CALLER: I had a real smart Republican friend of mine program my phone with 911 on speed dial after I locked myself in the family Prius last month. I had to drive to the police station and roll my window down and shout for help that time.

OPERATOR: What is your location sir?
CALLER: The Shriners corn maze at Circus Park!

OPERATOR: SHRINERS!? CIRCUS!? Sir, stay where you are. I don't want to alarm you, but there may be clowns in the area. We will send a SWAT team immediately!