War on Boy Scouts

Boy Scouts board to meet amid talk of policy on gays

OBAMBI weighs in on BSA's policy:
"My attitude is that gays and lesbians should have access and opportunity the same way everybody else does in every institution and walk of life. I will be watching the Board's vote today in the Situation Room via my armed drone's remote camera as it circles above, but don't let that worry you. I've only actually taken out a small handful of American born citizens with these things.

Hmmm. Would you let your young son/daughter go on an overnight camping trip with Scout Master Richard Simmons or Rachel Maddow?

Listen, I'm not homophobic and I do believe that its none of my business what pedophiles do in the privacy of their own cell block. However, this proposal is in direct conflict with the BSA code and none other than another thinly-veiled attack on moral character and the Christian church which supports this fine institution.

The board may decide to try a compromise by allowing each troop to set its own policy. That would be a mistake. Conservatives have warned of mass defections if Scouting allows gay membership to be determined by troops.

Some things just can't be compromised, as attested to in the Biblical story of Solomon and "splitting the baby".

In the news: Last week it was woman in combat, this week its gay scouts. Next week will probably be a secret battalion of gay Scout Masters in combat.