Obama to Putin: I meant to say I would never recognize the TEA PARTY vote bro

ROBERT GIBBS: If [President Obama] doesn't get, as I said, more involved in raising money, in getting voters excited, we know as you said that Obamacare is going to bring Republicans out... If he doesn't get more involved... you lose the Senate and if you lose the Senate, turn out the lights because the party's over. [source]

The party's over? Is that what this has been? A %*$#ing party? Since Obama flubbed the oaf of office, I lost a job I had with the same company for over 30 years, lost a house and had to move 3 times (I am counting the Wisconsin experiment twice. Like that Dildo Bagginses dude, I went there and back again - but loved the cheese). I've since bounced back and am one of the "lucky" 63.2 percent of working-age Americans who actually have a job or are looking for one.

Chattering Teeth Rewind: The Oaf of Office

ROBERTS: I, Osama Bin Lade.. eh I, Osama Obama. Alabama Osamba. Bric-a-brac arama. Sounds like Candleabra. Not Bin Laden. What is his name? OBAMA: "I, Barack Hussein Obama, (pause) aaand do solemnly swear... (pause) thaaaaaat..." ROBERTS: Blah blah blah. Something here about "faithfully", Suuure! As if! Faithfully? That's a Journey song ain't it? *Roberts starts to sing* "Highway run - Into the midnight sun - Wheels go round and round...". Sorry about that. Where were we? Oh yeah. Faithfully execute... yada yada yada. That you'll pretty much ignore the Constitution of The United States? OBAMA: True Dat.

OBAMA: I appreciate thaaat... Mr. Gibbs is paralyzed with fear aaat the prospect of Democrats losing the Senate. But let me be clear. The United States and its allies will "never" recognize the Tea Party's Senate breakaway vote.

But mister president, wasn't that your strategy with Russia and the whole Crimea thing? Will you recognize the new Soviet Union after it annexes the rest of Ukraine, the Baltics and Poland again sir?

OBAMA: Sorry bro. It's now 3PM but is 5 O'Clock somewhere, know what I'm sayin'?! Democrat Happy Hour begins and its time for my green beer summit. We'll pick this up again at the start of my day tomorrow around 10AM. Now if you'll excuse me, I see Joe Biden started early aaand is already wearing his green cardboard leprechaun hat! PAH TAY!