Monkey Selfies

With all of the challenges facing us in this country and in this world today, I think we can all agree there is no more pressing issue than whether or not the monkey who took this selfie should own the copyright.

In 2011, Slater (a British wildlife photographer) was visiting a park in Indonesia when a crested black macaque got a hold of one of his cameras. “They were quite mischievous, jumping all over my equipment,” Slater told the Telegraph, “and it looked like they were already posing for the camera when one hit the button.”

This is a monkey's "tail" that must be told and questions that my fertile mind MUST know the answers for. Questions like:

* Is the wildlife photographer fighting for the copyright out of jealousy that this monkey beat him at his own game?
* Could this British wildlife photographer simply be upset that this black macaque has better dental hygiene?
* Has this subject ever met Denmark's Prime Minister Helle Thorning Schmidt and have they ever posed for a selfie together?

All good questions. Ultimately I don't see a resolution without a great televised courtroom battle. My greatest hope is that the monkey insists on representing itself in the upcoming  trial. I can almost see the macaque expertly executing a cross examination of the witness, pacing back and forth and screaming, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE POOP!", as the first row of jurists learn the hard way that they are in the "splash zone".