Obama's bizarre Memorial Day climate change speech at Arlington National Cemetery

President Obama will travel to Arlington National Cemetery today for the laying of the wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Presidential visits on Memorial Day are somewhat of a tradition, as it is a solemn day of remembrance for those who have died serving in the American armed forces.

But what makes this year's traditional presidential visit unusual is obama's executive order for the body of this soldier to be exhumed and seated in the first row for the president's remarks on climate change.

Earlier this week, the president hijacked the occasion for his commencement speech to the U.S. Coast Guard Academy to insult and degrade these fine graduates by pushing his climate change agenda, so why not also ruin the wreath laying ceremony?

Chattering Teeth News has secreted out an advanced copy of the speech (complete with side notes) and is providing this exciting exclusive excerpt below!!!

2015 MEMORIAL DAY SPEECH TRANSCRIPT ROUGH DRAFT: (as written by the president's hand on a dirty golf towel)

NOTE - Standing at podium... Wait for the corpse man (sic) to be secured to the front row seat using wreath over his head to anchor him to chair if necessary. Once secured, give the corpse man a weak, limp-wristed salute (be careful not to spill my Latte Grande!)

Thank you. Please be seated. Thank you very much. Good morning, everybody.

Happy Memorial Day. I hope y'all remember what this day is really all about and that you enjoy your BBQs and ice cream cones as much as Michelle and I plan to.

As I look out at the blank and empty stares of the press in attendance amongst the sea of empty seats, I can't help but that my gaze is drawn to the liveliest one here. That of the body of the unknown soldier in the front row. I have just one question for the body of this soldier...

Knowing what we know now, would you have invaded Germany in WWI?

It's a fair question. Take your time. (look at wrist watch) Times up. The answer is, WWI was fueled by instability caused by severe drought and crop losses connected to rising temperatures caused from the industrial revolution. Well I say NO MORE BLOOD FOR OIL... and softer uniforms for all the branches!

Let me be clear. Climate change constitutes a serious threat to global security, an immediate risk to our national security, and, make no mistake, it will even impact our military corpse men and corpse woman (sic). And so we need to act — and we need to act now."

Many of our military graves are on the coast. Oh sure, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier stands atop a hill overlooking Washington, D.C., presumably safe from high tides and storms, but not all of the buried soldiers have been winners of death's lottery. You didn't build that grave, sir! So stand with me. Stand up Chuck!

END EXCERPT

PICTURED:
U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry (in his softer uniform) includes 'a dreadful Crème Brûlée' when ranking Global threats