Monday, August 31, 2015

Obama tackling problems by re-naming stuff in Alaska

The economy is crippled; there is more than $200 Trillion in unfunded liabilities; about one hundred million Americans no longer work; illegals are flowing over our open borders; Planned Parenthood continues to murder and dissect human babies; ISIS is on the march and chopping heads; Iran is on the verge of acquiring nuclear weapons and assuring WWIII; Cops in this country are being executed almost daily as a result of the president's race-baiting hate speech... so what did our fearless leader do yesterday?

Americans all across the country let out their breath in a collective sigh of relief when they learned President Obama finally took on an issue that really mattered by re-naming some mountain in Alaska.

CHATTERING TEETH NEWS BREAKING STORY!!!

No sooner did Obama rename Mt. McKinley to 'Denali' during his Alaska trip focusing on climate change, Chattering Teeth News now learns that obama may be retracting that executive order before the ink even dries.

OBAMA: Denali? I thought they said "Da Nelly". As in Nelly the rapper. You know... so "Hot In Herre"?


I mean, what better theme song for my BullSh*t Global Warming agenda then that? (obama starts singing) "Its gettin hot in here ... So take off all your clothes."

MOOSHELL: *begins to disrobe*

OBAMA: NOOOO! Na na nanna now just hold on a second, Michelle! I was just singing a song! Please stop! You're scaring the moose!

NELLY: So whatupdoh, B? You naming me after that mountain, or what?

OBAMA: My advisors did tell me that the Athabascan tribe's word for that mountain translated to mean "the high one". Naturally, I thought of you, my choom bro, Da Nelly. *obama takes hit of bong*

But no, I have a better idea...

WASHINGTON — Obama now re-naming Mt Mckinley to Mount Snoop Dogg because he feels that Snoop's "Drop It Like It's Hot" makes for a catchier Global Warming theme song. Meanwhile, Alaska is experiencine unseasonably cold and snowy summer weather during obama's Global Warming visit. Hmmmm.

 In other Alaska news, the president has also re-named the capital city of Juneau to "NoJews".
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5 comments:

  1. cubeAugust 31, 2015 at 10:16 AM

    "The High One" refers to Obola himself not Mt. McKinley ;)

    I liked your exclusive until I got to the part where Moochelle begins to disrobe and the thought of that made me throw up a little in my mouth.

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  2. Ed BonderenkaAugust 31, 2015 at 8:33 PM

    I got nuthin.

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  3. Ed BonderenkaAugust 31, 2015 at 10:59 PM

    ok. Denali is an anagram for denial.

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  4. DaBladeSeptember 1, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    cube, I swear I posted this before Drudge did his "The High One" with Obama on the front page. Maybe Drudge reads Chattering Teeth? Or more likely, maybe too obvious a joke and I'm losing it. Hey, they can't all be gems! :)

    Ed, Very nice! On that same topic, "Mount Mckinley" is ananagram for "County Milkmen". Chew on THAT!!

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  5. cubeSeptember 2, 2015 at 2:37 PM

    I believe you. I was just thinking of his Choom Squad days and thought of it myself as soon as I heard Denali means The High One. Drudge has a staff and we don't.

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