Hillary Clinton - Seal Team Sick

Hillary Clinton is a secret elite member of Obama's Seal Team, and really the only one with her ability to dodge imaginary gunfire, rappelle upside down into the Russian Politburo - dodging the security laser beams with the strength to cut through even the toughest of cankles - and grab the Russian reset button...

and replace it with an Obama thumb puppet.

Obama is now telling the Russians that he will have more flexibility once he declares Martial Law.