John Oliver of The Daily Show: "How can the American people trust the policies of a man who can't sell his house? Isn't this like hiring a personal trainer that's morbidly obese?"
I would go so far as to say it would be like a crack-smoking president appointing a fat surgeon general. (Riiiiight. Like that could ever happen)
'Beer summit' and 'Beer Diplomacy' is the news of the day, as Obama has summoned Harvard professor (and race baiter extraordinaire) Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Officer James Crowley to belly up to the White House bar for a cold one.
“As always, whitey now sits in judgment of me..."
Hey, this could work! Obama may just rehabilitate his own persona from that of a community agitator and race-monger, to that of a uniter and community healer. We are the world....
Maybe Gates and Crowley will come together... [dream sequence]
PRESS SEC. GIBBS: Howdy, city slickers. Welcome to the White House. No fightin', nocussin', no gun-slingin . Y'all can mosey up to the bar and have yourselves a Red-Eye fruit punch. But watch what you say to our bartender, he's an ornery cuss!
GATES: Hey, you knuckle-head. Set us up with four red-eyes !
OBAMA: *silence*
CROWLEY: Hey, yellow belly, I'm talking to you!
OBAMA: *silence*
GATES: Hey, tenderfoot! Move your chickenwings, turkey!
OBAMA: *silence*
CROWLEY: Hey, underpants, move your...
BLAM!
Who doesn't count National Lampoon's Vacation in their top 10? Speaking of which, Clark and son Rusty engage in a little beer summit themselves in this scene:
And now, ACTUAL FOOTAGE of Gates and Crowley drinking beer at the bar and engaging in a little bit of racial healing. I don't want to give away too much, but let's just say that all would have been fine had Michelle Obama not decided to stick her nose in where it didn't belong! (You will have to suffer a 20 second commercial)
In conclusion, I still have in my possession an unopened can of Billy Beer, named after the brother of president Carter if you recall. I'm not bragging and I'm not embarrassed. Just sayin'. I know it's worthless, but it does contain my entire retirement hopes and dreams. I can currently get more for my unopened can of Billy Beer than I can for my house.
Speaking of beer brands named after socialist president's brothers... How long before we see George Hussein Onyango Beer on the store shelves?
That's the happiest news I'm reading this morning through the steam from my morning coffee. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.... but most importantly - no health care vote. One of the more memorable rock lyrics blasts away in my head unbidden...
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
Obviously a line from "Freewill", by Rush. They aren't one of my favorite bands, but I never turn the station on the radio when they come on. I've always associated the above line with any indecision I come across, whether my own or someone else's. In this case of congressional indecision, we are much better off, for we still do not have a government-run socialized obamacare plan which puts private insurers out of business, rations care to the point where you either get better on your own while in the waiting room or assume room temperature, and sucks the will out of our best and brightest young people to become doctors.
I'm sure I would be disappointed in the intended meaning behind the lyrics to Freewill, but that doesn't much matter to me. I attach my own significance to them... much like The Pretenders' “My City Was Gone” has become Limbaugh's (a different "Rush") theme song, much to ultra-lib singer Chrissie Hynde's dismay. So let's try a few more.
CONYERS: “I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill'. What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?”
A planet of playthings, We dance on the strings Of powers we cannot perceive.
OBAMA: "The stars are aligned” to pass my health care agenda.
"The stars aren't aligned Or the gods are malign"- Blame is better to give than receive.
PELOSI: "We're still working, still talking, making good progress."
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
OBAMA: "The time has come for universal health care in America."
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
WE THE PEOPLE: (per Rasmussen) 1* Generally speaking, do you strongly favor, somewhat favor, somewhat oppose or strongly oppose the health care reform plan proposed by President Obama and the congressional Democrats?
25% Strongly favor
22% Somewhat favor
8% Somewhat oppose
41% Strongly oppose
3% Not sure
I will choose a path that's clear- I will choose Free Will.
Or just enjoy the song
In other good news: There is reportedly a slight housing market rebound taking place in Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas, Minneapolis and San Francisco. I have extrapolated the data and have determined that Michigan will be the 50th state to recover. Not only do my calculations show that I will regain the $50K negative equity by 2029, I will own my kitchen pantry/converted panic room outright by 2030!
Reportedly the prosthetic nose that Jacko wore to hide his caved in nasal orifice was missing from his corpse during autopsy.
For many years following multiple plastic surgeries to change Jacko’s face, his nose evidently was the hardest hit and former housekeeper Adrian McManus claimed the King of Pop had an entire collection of faux proboscis...
But the nose Jacko wore the day he died remains missing.
It may yet be an important piece of evidence in the possible homicide investigation into his sudden death.
Meanwhile, Rev. Al Sharpton is planning a march stating, "No proboscis, no peace!"
I was gone all weekend for my boys HS hockey tournament and I didn't follow the news AT ALL, and have no idea what, IF ANYTHING, our illustrious president has been up to. That said, and admittedly not having "all the facts", there is no doubt in my mind that Obama has been acting stupidly.
So I am trying to catch up. I see Obama went golfing again at Andrews Air Force Base Sunday. The First Divet has stated that he enjoys golf because it helps him "almost feel normal ... you're out of the container."
Out of the container and left on the counter in the hot sun, mister president?
Oh, and lunch at the turn at the Robin Hood Sandwich Shoppe, which when you think about it, is very apropos. Steal from the producers and give to the non-producers, cuz when you spread the cold cuts around it's good for everyone.
As you can see, golfing at an AFB has it's merits.
Obama probably falsified a score of 62 on the par 72 course, sacrificing golf rules and etiquette in order to save the game of golf from total collapse or something.
So it looks like Obama's healthcare plan, along with his poll numbers are in a free-fall after his "tough week". I just knew things would start looking up!
Didn't catch the Obama Propaganda and Variety Show last night. I hold liberal politicians (and The One specifically) in such contempt that I can't take watching them until they have been Auto-Tuned to sing unitentionally. Until the Gregory Brothers do their magical remix of the Obama show, I will have to rely on the printed word in small doses.
This blog will take a brief Auto-Tune time out. Stay right where you are and don't touch that keyboard. DaBlade will be right back...
Unintentional Singers Auto-Tune the news
Obama says health care "is not a game".
This also happens to be the title of a book about alternate reality games that muddle the line between fantasy and reality. Sounds like Obama's Mein Kampf to me.
But what if it was a game, which game would it be? (read prior sentence again with a Barbara Walter's lisp)
Mousetrap - Find your way through the maze of Obamacare bureaucracy (if you can), as you try to collect as much government cheese as you can carry.
Monopoly - Try to avoid bankruptcy as you pay higher and higher taxes when landing on Obama's ever-expanding properties. Gitmo terrorists "get out of jail free".
Operation - You possess the skill and precision of any old surgeon found in the future Obamaworld, just try not to nick your patient's artery HA HA! Gameplay could take months, if not years, between turns as Uncle Sam will make Cavity Sam wait for that necessary (yet rationed) funny bone removal. Don't forget the FREE ABORTION provision!
Candy Land - Sounds too much like Candy Mountain, and we know how that healthcare game ends for Charlie the Unicorn, right?
Trivial Pursuit- Earn pie wedges for correct guesses to questions on provisions in Obama's 1,018 page bill that nobody (including The One) has read. Teleprompter not included.
Trouble - Remember that "PopoMatic" dome with the dice? Land on an opponent's peg and send him back. Free pass (and free healthcare) for undocumented workers.
Chutes & Ladders - Think you're getting ahead? Down the chute you go, as Obama's policies have caused the stock market to tumble and unemployment and inflation to skyrocket. Ladders not included until 2012.
Scrabble - The more eloquent the word used, the better. Just make sure that it is found somewhere within the 1,018 pages of the Obamacare healthcare bill.
Clue - Solve the mystery of who murdered the economy. Obama. My that was a quick game.
***************************
Fourth meal... Gidget, the wise Latina Chihuahua of Taco Bell commercials fame has died of a stroke at the age of 15. If only Gidget was on the Obamacare health plan that Bo enjoys. Staples Center memorial service to follow?
REUTERS - U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton waves to photographers as she arrives at Don Muang international airport in Bangkok July 21, 2009. Clinton will first visit the 16th ASEAN Regional Forum in Phuket.
Linus: Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.
Speaking of hypocrisy, Where's Bill?
HIL: "Yah, sure. I'm gonna let Bill fly in to Bangkok on his way to Phuket. Next question..."
Clinton's arrival in the far east coincided with a total eclipse of the sun. The consensus among climate scientists is that the two simultaneous events are strickly coincidental.
A 2008 University of Michigan study found that chronic job insecurity, which persisted over three to 10 years, can be more damaging mentally and physically to one's well-being than a job loss or life-threatening illness.
"People who are persistently worried about losing their jobs ... are often waiting for the other shoe to drop, said U-M professor Sarah Burgard, the author of the study.
Please enjoy these short clips of CJI sufferers
So if the shoe(s) drop, then make lemonade or something.
If this study is to be believed, then the unemployed are * Less stressed * Less prone to over-indulge in food and beverage * Lead healthier lifestyles
Unemployment=good. jobs=bad
Man, I just realized that my hometown of Flint, MI must be an absolute utopia of health-conscious and carefree folk. So THIS is what Obama has in mind! I will investigate this theory by doing some man-on-the-street interviews (If I can find them amongst these vacant homes and abandoned buildings).
Some things I have always just taken on faith because I don't have the time for an exhaustive 30-second Google search. Like the moon landing 40 years ago. I have vivid memories of my father rousting me from my slumber in order to watch the grainy moonlanding footage. I don't remember exactly what he said to me in answer to my 8-year-old protestations, but it had something to do with "history in the making," and "you will always remember this." Whatever he said to me, it was enough to induce the necessary chemical reactions in my brain to commit this event to my longterm memory, and for that I am thankful.
Then I stumbled upon this. Was The Apollo Moon Landing Fake?
This, coupled with the convenient loss of the original high-quality tapes, staggered my once solid belief in the legitimacy of the moon landing. Have we been duped? Did Apollo land on some Hollywood backlot?
Nah. Some things just don't pass the smell test.
Like that the Apollo moon landing was faked. Or that we have to spend more to avoid bankruptcy. Or Obama promising he won’t sign any health-care bill that adds to the deficit.
Dear blog, NOTE TO SELF - I'm depressed again. The high court is about to add a left-wing liberal racist to the bench. Joe Biden is running around stating that we have to spend a few more $trillion to keep from going bankrupt, while Obama "The Chicago Thug" continues to push his radical agenda. Not content with his last budget that has pushed the 2009 deficit close to $2 Trillion, he wants MORE with cap-and-trade and socialized healthcare. The interest alone on the Debt now equals money allocated for our National defense. "No problem," says Obama. "I'll just eliminate the defense budget". If The One gets his way, America as we know it is done. It might be close to the time when I just load up the camper and head for the hills. Regards, DaBlade
Speaking of camping, this was just plain weird... BILLINGS, Mont. – Wildlife officials are trying to determine why a mountain lion attacked a Colorado man who says he used a chain saw to fight off the animal during a camping trip with his wife and two toddlers in northwestern Wyoming.
Wildlife officials should also try to determine why a Colorado man goes camping with a chain saw. The man's pre-camping checlist: LANTERN? Check; MATCHES? Check; SUNSCREEN? Check; WIFE AND TWO TODDLERS? Check; CHAIN SAW?
Hey, I like a campfire as well as the next camper, but if he doesn't have the common lazy decency to pay the $5 ransom for the 4 or 5 pre-cut and bundled pieces of sickly bark/wood, he ought to at least use a hand saw and/or an axe.
Of course, camping is it's own little microcosm of society. You have the elites, with their behemoth fifth-wheel rigs that have four bedroom, two baths, air conditioning, slide-outs (cottages for the help staff, apparently). Then you have the "middle class" working folks, which include the popup camper people like the DaBlades. At the bottom of the economic camping pool are the "homeless", or tent people.
A small breeze and light rain can send the tent people scattering, and will bring a smug smirk from a mostly-dry popup camper guy (who until then was feeling kinda down as he gazed at his elite neighbor's 50-ft rig with a fireplace and mumbling to himself, "that ain't camping").
Of course, if camping were EXACTLY like the real world, I would still owe a $5,000 mortgage on my camper (which has a resale value of maybe $3,000). With the hometown unemployment rate at 27.3%, I would worry about losing my ability to pay for my camper and one day becoming a tent person.
But camping is not the real world... that's kinda the point of going. And I own the camper (Read it and weep tent people), so I don't have to worry about a sheriff's sale and eviction to a tent.
So in conclusion, Obama and the democrats look to steal our future and our freedom. If I lose my house in this Obama economic storm, I can always live in the popup on perpetual vacation. It's time to make a stand. I will be in the camper and I will have my lantern, matches and sunscreen. This time, however, I'm taking a chain saw.
So a paltry 57% TAX LOOMS for New York City. It would seem that the Stoic Squirrel ought to wrap up his site-seeing while there is still something to see...
Toxicology results from the teleprompter autopsy are back, and indications are that TOTUS was abusing Eloquence, a more potent derivative of the hallucinogenic drug, Ecstasy. Plug marks were reportedly found up and down TOTUS' cord. Speculation is that TOTUS was under a lot of pressure and stress over Obama's upcoming schedule of speeches. A public memorial ceremony for TOTUS is scheduled for Friday at The Staples Center.
Obama in Warren, Michigan Tuesday: "I love these folks who helped get us in this mess and then suddenly say, 'Well, this is Obama's economy,'" the president said in a pointed deviation from his prepared text. "That's fine. Give it to me!"
J Geils Band, Give it to Me... (and apparently our president's shower song) You're so slick now, know every trick now You know I want it, I want it so bad You know I need it, I can't believe it So come on baby, Please relieve it
You've got to get it up (give it up) You've got to get it up (give it up) You've got to get it up (give it up) You've got to get it up (give it up)
When Obama says "IT", he means the economy. I don't think Peter "Oover Groover" Wolf was referring to the economy.
Hey Obama. Don't say "give it to me", capice? It sounds funny when you say it.
OK, what the heck. Now I got the hankerin'... I was going to comment on Obama taking ownership of the economy, while in the next breath admitting that unemployment figures will continue to "tick up" (read: Skyrocket through the roof)... but I've decided I'd rather listen to one of the best songs by the funkiest band in the land...
A 2009 J Geils renaissance underway? I wasn't able to make their Detroit appearance at the Fillmore in April. They also played in Boston, and just had a July 11th reunion concert in Atlantic City.
Bring it back to Detroit one more time fellas!
Now back to the regularly scheduled program...
"I want the president's economic stimulus to work, but guess what? It's not happening right now," Rep. Candice Miller, R-Mich., said Tuesday, voicing a common GOP refrain. "I don't even think we have Wendy's jobs anymore. Where's the beef? Where's the jobs?"
For the rest of the speech the president relied on the one remaining teleprompter, to his right, and notes on his podium to finish his speech.
Reminded me of this old joke for some reason...
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left". An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left". One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"
A very funny satirical piece from the ONION: Obama To Hold Job Performance Reviews For Every American Worker The President says the purpose of the performance reviews is to have a little face time to make sure we're all on the same page going forward...
Funny? Yes. But I also found this video to be slightly disturbing because of it's plausibility. Not only the "Big Brother" aspect, but because Obama's economic policies are responsible for drastically shrinking the pool of Americans actually working who would require this sort of review.
"(these performance reviews are) part of his plan to spur economic growth by increasing national productivity..." Makes more sense than what he's currently doing as it at least would address the REAL cause of economic growth - that being from the American worker and NOT the freakin' government spending printed money.
"A lot of Americans are nervous about their meeting with the president..." Wouldn't you be?
Most Americans say that Obama was friendly but they prefer the old president because he, "never gave a sh** what we did." Of course they feel the need to take a shot at Bush here. It's part of the Obama derangement syndrome. If having a president not giving a sh** what I do is defined as having a president who understands the role of government, sign me up.
Not really. There won't be any surprises during the anticlimactic, preordained confirmation hearings of Sotomayor.
According to a CNN opinion poll, Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor's popularity has plummeted alongside Obama's numbers.
Forty-seven percent of respondents to the poll say they would like to see the U.S. Senate vote to confirm versus forty-percent who say they would not, with the remaining thirteen percent who apparently would rather see her forced to run in the streets of Pamplona. And she polls much more poorly among firefighters.
Not that it matters. As long as this "wise Latina woman" privately tows the pro-infanticide democrat line, she is a slam dunk.
Still, one can hope the Obamatrain gets derailed somewhere along the line, can't one?
I haven't actually read the bill (or the entire article), but I believe the House Democrats are fighting to expand the number of folks who get to receive sensitive intelligence information on CIA covert activities to include left-wing bloggers at HuffingGlue Post. Maybe not, but it's not like the House Democrats actually read the documents they vote on, so where's the crime?
Obama vowed Wednesday to veto the pending Intelligence Authorization Bill if it contains language expanding the briefings beyond the so-called Gang of Eight — the Democratic and Republican leaders of both houses of Congress and heads and ranking members of the two intelligence committees.
...and O's teleprompter, of course.
The White House said giving all intelligence committee members access to the CIA's covert dealings "would run afoul of tradition by restricting an important established means by which the president protects the most sensitive intelligence activities that are carried out in the national security interests."
"...afoul of tradition". Obama should know.
Do you agree with Nancy Pelosi that the CIA should stop lying to congress and that these briefings should be televised and hosted by Keith Olbermann?
I have been accused of having a Barbie doll fetish just because I've shared that I keep one in my glove compartment in my car when I'm traveling, and carry her around in my pocket when I'm not. Sure, YOU don't have any minor idiosyncrasies. The relationship is strickly platonic, and if she wasn't such a good listener when we have those probing discussions on politics and pop culture, I might be forced to agree with my therapist you.
Two teenage girls took the concept of getting all dolled up for the school prom to an extreme - dressing as life-size Barbie dolls and being wheeled in still sealed in their boxes...
To guard against overheating, the boxes were punched with air holes and the girls each had a small fan and a bottle of water...
'We stayed in the boxes for about half an hour. It was really hot and a little scary at first. But we soon got used to it and we kept smiling for everyone while they took pictures of us.'
Well now they've went and done it. I could have told them that their resale value is much higher if they would have been left in their original packaging. These gals would have been the perfect dates for two dudes driving the U-Hauls to the prom, which seems to be the latest trend. Britain's Got Talent for sure!
Apparently jealous of all the attention these two have received, a not-yet identified crazy British woman has been paparazzied in a motorized Barbie-styled box in downtown London. Authorities caution to approach her at your own risk.
I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of the overboard MJ media coverage. I refuse to participate any more. I now dedicate this blog to be 100% mj free. There are more important and news-worthy events going on you know.
Nah. Guess I haven't missed much. Sarah Palin is resigning to apparently fish for salmon full time while Obama is getting "schooled" by his new BFFs in Russia. What's Putin using for bait to snag a catfish like that?
"By no means is America perfect..."
*nibble nibble*
"The pursuit of power is no longer a zero-sum game..."
*CHOMP*
"Progress must be shared..."
*hook set*
"Let me be clear: America wants a strong, peaceful and prosperous Russia."
Thank goodness I watched Jack Bauer and '24' last season or I would have been clueless on the air-conditioning ductwork of that big white house and therefore been unable to make my escape. That was actually a week ago. Where have I been since then? Hanging low.
The DaBlade's piled into the Chattering Teeth mobile and we headed north, pulling the weather-beaten 15-year-old popup camper. Mrs. DaBlade had scheduled a visit with Michigan Tech. for our middle boy, so I had the bright idea to turn this into a camping trip.
Pictured below is a roadside thermometer-styled sign that advertises the snowfall amount from the prior year. M.T.U. is located in Houghton, Michigan, in the Keweenaw, which is the upper peninsula OF the Upper Peninsula (that large land mass north of the mitten, just this side of the arctic circle). I knew it was cold and snowy in the winter, but how bad could it be in late June and early July? I'll tell you.
Though a little breezy upon our arrival, I was carefree as I set up the camper and adjacent tent with what I thought should prove to be an outstanding view of Lake Superior. However, immediately after completion of camp - the rains came - and came. And the temperature began to drop - and drop. And the winds began to blow - and blow. Gitche Gumee was crashing waves against her rocks as if she were angry at our intrusion.
And so the DaBlades huddled into the camper for the better part of three days, only leaving it's canvassed walls of "safety" for the mad bathroom dash through the bitter winds and driving monsoon of freezing rain. No Hobo pies or S'Mores around the campfire, no water-wings and Budweiser for me in the sun and surf. I went through almost two full tanks of propane just trying to keep the temperature high enough inside the colander camper to keep our blood circulating. It became more a matter of survival than of fun and frivolity. Seriously, it was freakin' cold! It was what I imagine it must be like at the Mt. Everest base camp.
So we did the university tour thingy. The next day was spent doing a road tour of the Keweenaw. Houghton... Hancock... Calumet... Copper harbor... Eagles Harbor. We even did an undergroung tour of the Quincey copper mine, where temperatures are a constant 40-something degrees, just so's we could warm up.
Having run out of things to do, we checked out a day early and headed SOUTH to spend the holiday in Mackinaw City. Never before has a dry 70 degrees felt so good. Our oldest boy turned 20 on July 3rd, so we spent his birthday on Mackinac island riding bicycles, eating fudge, and dodging horse manure piles. The climate at Wilderness State park allowed us to have a few campfires, complete with Hobo pies and S'Mores.
I'm back now and I have no idea what has been going on. Cold turkey from the Drudge Report and the blog roll will do that. Now I feel the pull back to the digital world and I feel the need to once again immerse in the comforting whirlpool of 1s and 0s.
