Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Abortion Operation: the new board game for libs

NEW from Chattering Teeth Toys - A board game that's fun for the whole family social group of individuals living under your roof! Ages 9 to adult (fetuses through 8 don't get to play - HAHAHA!).

Everyone remembers the original Operation game of skill and precision, with the object being for players to take turns extracting funny plastic body parts from Cavity Sam without touching the sides with the forceps and setting off the buzzer. NOTE: Remember kids, the buzzer represents "nicking an artery" on your patient, Cavity Sam, likely causing him to bleed to death on your table (Ha Ha!). "Sorry Mary, looks like you severed Sam's carotid artery going for the Adam's Apple! Pass the forceps, it's Johnny's turn now!"

Now comes the sequel - Abortion Operation. Cavity Sam does not return, as he has apparently run off with a hooker from Vegas. However, Sam's big-nosed ex-old-lady is here, and she is carrying Sam's unwanted tissue mass! Lucky for you that Egocentric Sally has decided it's not real convenient for her to carry this tissue mass to term. Pass the forceps, we're going in!

OBJECT:
Players take turns on Egocentric Sally by removing, or attempting to remove, the fetus. Remember kids, don't touch the sides of Sally's female parts! They are all there solely for the purpose of satisfying her sexual promiscuity and nothing more!

LITTLE JOHNNY: "Hey announcer guy, this bloody game part you called a "fetus" thingy looks like a baby!"

ANNOUNCER GUY: Not so fast Little Johnny. It is not really a baby until it has successfully evacuated from Egocentric Sally's uterous "born alive". Oh wait, according to Barack Obama, you still have a right to finish it off. infanticide smanticide! Stick those scissors into the moving fetus Johnny! Celebrate Egocentric Sally's "right to choose" and other made up liberal "rights" while having fun dismembering the fetus for 1000 points!

But don't stop there! Grab yourself some extra points by giving Egocentric Sally some improvements. Get +200 points for giving her a successful breast enhancement procedure; +100 points for varicose vein removal; +25 points for a nose job; +1000 for a manicure. Yes, Egocentric Sally's middle name is narcissist, but why be redundantly repetitive by stating the obvious again and again repetitively? She's a liberal after all.

But wait! Abortion Operation is not just a game for Godless libs! This is a game for all Obama voters to enjoy, including you CASINO Catholics (Catholic As Stated In Name Only).

ABORTION OPERATION was the number one seller this Black Friday weekend! Games were flying off the Wal Mart shelves faster than a bad check from a Democrat. Hurry and get yours today!

Shop at Chattering Teeth Toysthis Christmas holiday season (or "winter solstice" if you prefer).

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More gifts from Chattering Teeth Toys:
Name an abortion after someone with the International Abortion Registry

Palin's PET Farm set

5 comments:

Jolene said...

Really? Because pro-lifers don't get breast enhancements or manicures? And why do you get more points for manicures than breasts?

You say that Sally is egocentric and promiscuous and that it is wrong for her to enjoy sex. If you believe that God made Sally and all her parts, shouldn't you also believe that God made sex feel good for a reason? And you do know that women can get pregnant without having sex? Or that a woman could get pregnant the very first time that she has sex? Is she promiscuous?

I get that you are trying desperately to be sarcastic and you know "funny." I know that you will assume that I am offended by the game. You would, of course, be wrong. I am angry at the preposterous stereotypes that you use to try and prove your point. Not all women that have abortions are promiscuous. Many are women in stable relationships that already have children and had to choose between birth control and food. Or were too young to understand fully the ramifications and consequences of having, specifically, unprotected sex.

Quoiting the National Review as your proof for Obama's stance is ridiculous. If you paid any attention, you'd see that there was already a law in IL that protected those that are "born alive." He opposed it because it would make it more difficult for women, like me, who have a pre-existing medical condition that make pregnancy life-threatening. I have a blood clot in my lung and leg-pregnancy could quite literally kill me before a baby would even be viable outside the womb. Should I risk my life for a child that will not live outside the womb? Should I have to give up sex, something that has been a part of human existence since the dawning of time? To ensure that, even though I use multiple forms of non-hormonal birth control, I don't get pregnant?

And what about women that are raped? What if your sister, mother, aunt, cousin, friend was raped by a family member? Do you want to take that choice away from them? Yes, I recognize that these represent a small section of the abortions that are preformed. However, the point of the pro-choice movement is not to promote abortion. It is to ensure that every woman has a CHOICE. Remember, Sarah Palin CHOSE to keep her baby.

DaBlade said...

Jolene- Don't worry about your confusion. You've come to the right place. Dr. DaBlade will see you now. Besides, it gave me an excuse to reread this wonderfully funny and thought provoking post.

Manicures earn more points because there are 10 fingernails needing attention and only two boobs (ice cream cones:). The point is, killing one's offspring for convenience sake is the most heinous, heartless, coldblooded, and SELFISH thing a woman can do. And don't give me "health of the mother" crap. How is partial birth abortion EVER justified by that? The baby is all but delivered at the point of their execution.

I find it interesting how you phrased the following... "If you believe that God made Sally" and "shouldn't you also believe that God made sex feel good for a reason?" I'll go out on a limb here and guess that if you were a believer in God yourself, you would have stated the above affirmatively with something like, "I believe God made Sally and all her naughty parts". See what I mean?

It's ok if you're a non-believer because He believes in you. It does takes the pressure off me though because I can't relate to you and so I know I won't turn you. You see, I AM an unabashed and unashamed believer in God the almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe we are given a spark of the divinity at conception and noone has a "right" to snuff it out. Not Roe. Not Wade. Not Obama. Not Promiscuous Sally. Not you. If I thought we were all self-aware, yet souless and empty vessels of flesh and blood that evolved over time by pure chance in a prehistoric stew, and that it was "lights out" at death, then I'd probably also be a pro-choice democrat. If it feels good, why not do it? But to answer your question directly, God did make sex between a man and a woman in the sanctity of marriage for a good reason. It is us who pervert it.


Jolene, this was the best one of yours..."women who have to choose between birth control and food". Funny stuff girl! You're pulling my leg, right? If this were really a woman's choice, I'd suggest to her that she close her legs and buy a bisquit. But let's follow through with your ridiculous example. Say this woman buys food instead of birth control - (because you need food to survive. "Hierarchy of needs" kind of thing). She gets pregnant. She is still broke, so NOW she has to choose between food and an abortion. I'm guessing she chooses food again! The baby lives and is given away for adoption! Were you TRYING to make my point for me, or were you suggesting Sally needs an abortion because she couldn't afford birth control, so taxpayers should pay for it? I'm really trying to follow you.

As for the stupid Il law you refer to... reminds me of the book/movie "Running Man". A game show set in the future where the object is for the contestant to be on the run and stay alive for 30 days while being hunted by government assassins. If he is successful, he wins a pile of money and his life. If he loses, he's dead. This law is kind of like that. If a baby survives the gauntlet of sharp steel surgical implements and a mother's callousness, and is born against all odds and intentions, then the baby is ALLOWED to live? That's like putting a bandaid on decapitation. Abortion must be completely outlawed. I have faith that it will be one day. Admittedly, Obama was a huge setback to that day.

As for your blod clot, let me just answer this way. I have three boys. I would lay down my life in an instant in trade for theirs (Whether a speeding bus scenario, or other). I have no respect for a parent who would do otherwise.

Abortion is the killing of an unborn (or partially born) human child of God. I find a moral equivalence of abortion to just holding a pillow over your 4 year old child because their rambunctiousness is upsetting your blood clot. Same damn thing.

The Shang said...

Very nice, DaBlade!

Daniel Ruwe said...

Very funny. :)

highboy said...

That was funny but sad at the same time. It may as well be a board game for these people. I didn't see the part where you could set the fetus on fire like in some abortions. Is that a feature?