The Ninth Amendment dogface mambo

The Ninth Amendment, huh? (anybody still there?). There is nothing like a dry dissertation on this subject to drive folks away or into deep, deep slumber. And I did say earlier in the comment section that I wasn't going to go there. But then I read an intriguing comment from my friend Kevin, who takes issue with originalist interpreters of the Constitution like Justice Scalia, and charges that they "completely ignore" the Ninth Amendment. Kevin challenges, "Read it again. It is the most simple of the amendments. It means exactly what it says."

OK, I'll try. Here goes.

The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Hmmmm. Let's see. Errrr. IS IT...! Nah... Nope. Missed it. Never mind.

Let's try it this way. If I perceive I have a right to defecate in your flower garden, is that covered? Certainly you wouldn't begrudge me this necessary bodily function. You will admit that I have a right to expunge impurities, do you not? It would be unhealthy not to! And wouldn't the results of this natural act benefit the flowers? Yet, this right is not enumerated in the Constitutional.

As they say, the devil is in the details (and in the interpretation).

For newer readers of this blog who may not know, Kevin and I go back a few years. We both live in the city of Davison, Michigan, the birthplace of Michael Moore. Kevin was actively seeking to get road signs at the city limits in honor of Moore, and I was not. (My side is still winning that one).

So Kevin and I have occasional disagreements. Yet at the end of the day, I know him to be a good and decent family man. Maybe he is my "Bob Beckel" or I am his "Cal Thomas". I zig, he zags. I say "conservative" and he says "liberal" (actually, he says "progressive", because it sounds more palatable than the understandable negative conotations associated with liberalism). I say "strict constructionism" and he says "judicial activism". I say "Pro life" and he says "kill 'em all and stack those dead babies like so much cordwood!" (or something to that same effect).

Anyway, I have a theory on this Ninth Amendment thingy. I think we have all been "Gern Blanston-ed". Those old enough (and similarly obsessed) will get the reference and remember the old Steve Martin bit on his "Comedy is Not Pretty" album, where Martin insisted his real name was "Gern Blanston".

Steve Martin also did a bit on "Wild and Crazy Guy" (yes, this is going somewhere. I think). It's a great trick to play on a 3-year-old, Steve says. "Every time you're around them, talk wrong." Then on their first day in school, they raise their hand and ask the teacher, "May I mambo dogface in the banana patch?"

Hey, it was the '70's. You had to be there.

So here is what I'm thinking. The founding fathers were having a little fun with us by hiding that Ninth Amendment in there amongst all the stuffy prim and proper Amendments. Sort of like a two and a half century old whoopie cushion! In fact, had they thought of it first, the Ninth Amendment may have read this way:

The mambo dogface in the banana patch of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people... And I want to massage your grandmother.

I believe the founding fathers were collectively very smart men who dreamed up a perfect concept, yet they were imperfect vessels to carry out this perfection, as are we all.

One last request for Kevin. You say you proclaim to possess unparalleled powers of interpretation, and you have this Ninth Amendment thingy figured out (I assume, since you inferred it but never explained), would you help me understand the meaning of this Edward Lear classic...

"This is the big one Elizabeth!"

According to "the good" reverend Jeremiah Wright, an attack on him is an attack on the black church.

"This is the big one Elizabeth! I'm comin' to join ya honey!"



Sanford and Son reference? (I always wanted to link back to myself. Is that wrong?)

Black. White. Gray.

William Gray has forecast tropical storms and hurricanes at Colorado State University for the past 25 years. That gig may be coming to an end as punishment for the crime of being a man-made global warming skeptic. Of course, the officials there say otherwise. They say that media inquiries as to Gray's forecasting has become distracting and "detracts from efforts to promote other professors' work".

Sure. If there is one thing that really upsets major universities and research centers that are dependent upon grants and contributions, it's that pesky media attention. Maybe Gray will be let back in the back door, like former University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill. Remember him? He's the guy who called 9/11 victims "little Eichmanns". He's still teaching there! "We feel Ward has a right to say what he wants to say," Aaron Smith, a political science and ethnic studies senior, told FOXNews.com.

Somehow, I don't think Gray can expect the same forgiveness for his "sin".

Gray is a fellow global warming denier. In fact, he predicts the onset of global cooling! He has upset the algorists with comments suggesting that global warming scientists are "brainwashing our children." His unabashed criticism of the "consensus" evidently cannot go unpunished.

Blacklisted. Reminds me of the plight of the conservatives in Hollywood. (Are there more than 3 of them?) Admittedly, conservatism in Hollywood will always be in the minority because of the profession itself. Fame, riches, and a constant dose of fantasy tends to distort perspectives. Reality becomes what you wish it to be. (see Ninth Amendment). It's you other liberals who are not insulated from reality that have no excuse.

An actor who has yet to attain superstar status would do well not to make their political views known or risk never working in that town again. I couldn't do it - I'm too hard-headed. Good thing I'm not an actor or a hurricane forecaster.

Scalia, the "shin-kicker contrarian"

Justice Scalia appears on 60 Minutes.
Found via Redstate

Part 1


Scali, the self-described "shin-kicker contrarian," is criticised for being an"originalist"! *GASP* Which means his interpretations attempt to decipher what was really meant by the framers of the Constitution. *YIKES!*

The Constitution as a "living and breathing document"? Justice Scalia says, "No. Unless you think that judges in black robes are moral arbiters". He states that he doesn't view his role as such, but that it "sounds like fun".

Scalia warns the proponents of an evolving Constitution - "It's going to evolve in both directions".

But doesn't societal Values change?

Scalia: "You think there ought to be a right to an abortion? No problem. The Constitution says nothing about it. create it the way most rights are created in a democratic society. Pass a law- and that law, unlike a constitutional right created by a court, can comprpomise... it can... I was going to say it could split the baby..."

"The Constitution is not meant to facilitate change, it is meant to impede change. To make it difficult to change."

60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl: "You've been labeled a counter revolutionary... The public sense of you is that you make your decisions based on your social beliefs...that is the perception".

Scalia: "I'm a law and order guy I confess. I'm a social conservative but it does not affect my views on cases. On the abortion thing for example. If indeed I were trying to impose my own views, I would not only be opposed to Roe v Wade, I would be in favor of the opposite view which the anti-abortion people would like adopted, which is to interpret the Constitution to mean that a state MUST prohibit abortion.... there is nothing there on that subject."

Hmmm. I deviate from Scalia here. I guess it depends upon how you interpret what the framer's had in mind with "LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Other than this, his brain is a veritable synapse symphany of cacaphonous melodies.

As Justice Scalia says, "Anyway, that's my view and it happens to be correct."

Cartoon Saturday

Cartoon Silhouettes at Creative Juices:


How many can you identify?

POLARIZE THIS!

I had lunch with conservative Cal Thomas yesterday. Liberal Bob Beckel was there. So were a few hundred other people in the audience at the Northbank Center Grand Ballroom in downtown Flint. Thomas and Beckel were the guest speakers for this University of Michigan-Flint sponsored "Critical Issues Forum".

I was at the company table located two tables away from Thomas and Beckel, but I think it sounds better when I say that I had lunch with my friends Cal and Bob. Makes it sound like they rolled into Flint in their road-dusty pickup and we drove down to Halo Burger for a quick bite. And when I say they are "my friends", I don't mean to imply that we have actually met. By "friends", I mean in the "we had meaningful, yet fleeting eye contact" kind of way.

Thomas and Beckel teamed up three years ago for their widely popular "Common Ground" column in USA Today. They have since co-authored a book by the same title, "Common Ground: How to Stop the Partisan War That Is Destroying America". They are on the traveling speech circuit preaching the same message of "C- c- can't we all just get along"? Which is fine by me, cuz I got the most delish salmon filet salad out of the deal.

Both Thomas and Beckel took turns at the podium. While they took playful verbal shots at each other on occasion, it was obvious that they share a warm and personal relationship and a mutual respect for each other. This is a rare thing today between individuals of the opposite political spectrum. They made the point that they were not advocating replacing debate of the issues with a chorus of "Cumbaya". In fact, they stated that there was nothing wrong with being partisan. Both stated that there was not a whole lot of issues they agreed on. However, out of their friendship arose the willingness to actually listen to what the other was saying. When responding, they found that they no longer needed to shout to be heard. They called this foreign concept, "meaningful debate".

Beckel made the point that polarization has always existed in Washington, but it was on the fringes until about 1988, whereas now it is "front and center" of our politics. I actually agreed with many of Beckel's utterances, and this was one of them. Of course, I know we would completely disagree with the cause for the rise in polarization after 1988, but Bob didn't expand on this. He did say that many in the media made a very good living out of polarization, giving the examples of Ann Coulter and Michael Moore on opposite ends of the polarization spectrum. While it was not a shocker hearing Beckel knock Coulter, it was pleasantly surprising hearing a liberal admit that Moore's movies were edited to present a picture no longer reflecting reality (that's called "propaganda" Bob). Now if we could only get an admission of the same for Al Gore's little slide show.

Beckel also called Moveon.org "un-American" for their Petraeus/Betrayus ad. He made the point that political correctness has become ridiculously extreme. I couldn't agree with this statement more! (unless any reader of this blog is offended by that, then of course, my position is "neutral"). Bob says he didn't play that game and that he wasn't afraid to bluntly say what was on his mind. Cal was nodding his head enthusiastically to this from his seat.

When it was Cal's turn, he was equally hard on the Republicans for when they had strayed. Thomas made the point that Republicans gained the majority in 1994 under Newt Gingrich and the righteous "Contract With America", but that they became arrogant with power and began spending like Democrats. The sex scandals were also very detrimental to the platform of family values, and Republicans were subsequently voted out of power. Beckel responded by stating that Gingrich was the only guy he knew that never had an unspoken thought.

The current Democrat primaries came up toward the end. Beckel refused to state his pick, but he went out of his way to be very complimentary to Hillary as being "tough". He also took the opportunity to slam the superdelegates, stating that they were not profiles in courage". He said they should quit whining about the closeness of the race, and the fact that it looked like their would be no clear cut front-runner by August in Denver. In other words, their input would be needed. "That's your jobs!," bellowed Beckel.

According to Bob, if things are still going Obama's way, he thinks husband Bill should sit Hillary down and review her 3 options.
1) Keep fighting all the way to Denver and risk race riots in the streets. (Yikes)
2) If Obama gets the nomination, the VP slot is there for Hillary if she wants it. She would have something like 2200 delegates to Barack's 2300, and he couldn't say "no".
3) Stay a junior senator under Chuck Schumer

They spoke a little on the war in Iraq. Not surprisingly, Beckel believes we should pull out. Thomas understands the scope and danger of our Islamofascist enemy, and that victory is our only option.

Enough said. They ended their presentation with a challenge to all in attendance to engage in meaningful debate with those we disagree. To actually listen to what the other is saying and attempt to find "a kernel" of common ground. I think we can begin by agreeing that this blog is the place to have these exchanges, and that I promise not to shout at any left-wing yahoos who "don't get it".

"CRUDE" is skyrocketing!

Estimated Democratic Delegate Scorecard:
Barrel of "Crude" up to 1,585
"Rude" at 1,715

If Michigan and Florida included, Hillary would be ahead in the popular vote. The Democrats are in a world of hurt.

Oh, and oil prices are rising too...

When will the fat lady sing?

Naysayers keep predicting her doom as supporters scramble to raise the needed millions of dollars to keep her in the game. This is a tough business, and she has been showing the wear and tear for some time now. Her facade is cracked, yet she has stood strong through it all. But it appears her time may be running out. She has been replaced by a younger "bright and shiny" alternative who promises "Hope" and "Change". What the new guy lacks in experience, he makes up for with youthful exuberance. However, it appears the new guy is stumbling a bit...

OK, so you're on to me and have figured out that I am not talking about Hillary and Barack. I am, of course, referring to the current misfortunes of Tiger Stadium, the "Neglected and Decrepit" former home of the Detroit Tigers, located at "The Corner" of Michigan and Trumbull. Yes, I know. "Neglected and Decrepit" accurately describes the old battle axe as well.

If I may indulge for just a moment of nostalgia. Tiger Stadium will always hold a special place in my heart, as well as it will for thousands of others I'm sure. For myself, I readily admit that going to a Tigers game was never a frequent stop in my youth. Growing up in a large family and money a little tight, what with my father's cops salary, we didn't make the trip down from Flint with any regularity. But when we did, oh man! Maybe the infrequent visits made it all the more special, for I always felt like I was visiting a castle. All of it was special. The road trip- the first sighting of the stadium - parking a mile away and walking past vendors selling pennants, pencils, and caramel corn- walking up the stadium ramp- even the semi-obstructed view was cherished. The three-fingered baseball mitt firmly ensconced on my left hand, I was ready to rock and roll!

From The Detroit News today:

DETROIT -- The clock is ticking once again on the destruction of old Tiger Stadium, with a nonprofit group racing to raise $15 million to save part of the vacant ballpark before demolition begins in a matter of weeks. Work to tear down most of the historic stadium and sell it for scrap is slated to begin as soon as private contractors can get started.

We now return to the regularly scheduled blog and the bashing of Clinton and Obama:
So when I fired up the browser this morning, hot cup of Joe in hand, the bold Drudge headlines screamed "Clinton 55, Obama 45". I thought to myself, "wow, they BOTH really suck at bowling".

Then, of course, I realized the reference was to the Pennsylvania primary results. So Hillary gets her double-digit victory. Is this enough of a margin to derail the superdelegate Obama train and result in continued chaos of the democrat party? One can only "Hope".

What is this "Earth Day"?

If you're like me, then you secretly hope that lederhosen becomes mainstream as business-casual attire in this country. If you're like me, you also use Google to "seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where..." OK, enough of the Star Trek theme. The truth is, if I can't learn something I didn't know before (knowledge acquired in other people's entire lifetimes) in a quick 5-minute internet search engine surf, then it isn't worth learning in my book. So it was today, when I learned about something called "Earth Day".

So I begin with the simply queery, What is this "Earth Day", and why do I feel an urge to wear a tie-dyed T-shirt? Let's go surfin' to find out. My first discovery: Google is run by hippies?

Google used a rain forest theme today, and if I'm not mistaken, that's a Snapper wading in the brook by the second "g". So my journey to learn continues. In my research, I discovered that Earth Day is kind of like a religious experience for those who celebrate it. I also learned that the vast majority of "Earthers" smoke (or have smoked in their lifetime) a large quantity of the natural earth-grown herb, marijuana.

Many worshippers of Earth Day apparently pray to a deity figure called Gaia, or Mother Earth. I'm not sure if she is a drug-induced hallucination, a bit of undigested potatoe, or Al Gore in drag. But in any case, all I can say is, "Gaia, you go girl"! From The greenwoman:

Gaia is our earth mother, who nourishes, heals, and teaches us. At The Gaia School we believe that our teacher is the earth itself. Through developing a deeper connection to the earth we heal ourselves- mind, body, and soul. Gaia is our guide, her spirit supporting us through our life walk. Her hands- the trees, plants, and animals, all her many voices here to teach and guide us back to wholeness. We work with the spirits of Gaia to find our way back to union with her and all of life.

Wow. This broad gets around! No wonder this day is such a big deal! Apparently, Gaia lives in a shack in the woods, sort of like the Unabomber did. Her surroundings are green with foliage of all kinds. "There are plants and birds and rocks and things..." Trees, grasses, flowers, bushes, even weeds! It seems all living plants are worthy in Mother Earths's eyes and should be held in high esteem by her followers (although apparently human fetuses have no value other than to provide them mulch).

Well, that ends today's journey of discovery. I hope you have learned something bercause I know I did. Unfortunately I have to say goodbye as I need to make a big ol' carbon footprint (if you get my drift).

Genesee "Eyesore" Towers

We can agree that this is not the Eiffel Tower, can't we?

Man is responsible for the construction of the Pyramids in Egypt, the Great Wall of China, The Colosseum in Rome... and probably some other cool stuff too. But man was also responsible for THIS monstrosity of a building. Sorry if that's harsh, but I have to look at it every day. I feel like yelling, "Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down these walls"! Or Mr. Williamson. Or Mr. Kumar. Or Mother Nature. Somebody! And I thought the last 40 years haven't been so kind to me...

It used to be that you could somewhat ignore the building, avoid eye contact with it, as you drove or strolled by. This has not been possible since the city condemned the building and erected 8-foot barricades on the sidewalk and into the streets around this behemoth. The barricades not only obstruct downtown traffic, but also creates the illusion that the building is some kind of sedated King Kong and it's only a matter of time until he becomes lucid enough to strike.

Feel free to comment if you have your own caption for this photo or suggestion as to what this ground could better be utilized for. I am not moving on with this blog until I am convinced there is a Flintoid out there who feels the same about this building.

Don't miss "BARACKY" (ROCKY movie spoof)

Watch this youtube spoof. As President Bush would say, "AWESOME"! I just wish Reverend Wright would have been properly cast as Rocky's Baracky's corner man Mic. "Cut me Mic!"

BARACKY: THE MOVIE

"Mule Dear" - Franzen puts Wings up 3-2!

Thank you Johan "Mule" Franzen, for scoring the overtime game winner and lifting the Detroit Red Wings to victory Over the Nashville Predators by a score of 2-1 and earning a 3-2 series lead. Scoring goals, and especially game winners, are becoming commonplace for Franzen. The 6'3", 220 lb Swedish centerman scored 27 goals during the regular season, but really seemed to find his touch towards the end of the season, where he just seemed to bang in timely goal after timely goal. He has 8 game winners during the regular season, two of which were against these same Preds.

The name "Franzen" makes me think of the old SNL "Hans and Franz" bit. "I am gonna PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" In Hans and Franz fashion, the Wings ultimately treated Nashville like the "girlie men" that they are, by figuratively picking the Predators up by their flabby love handles and throwing them to the curb like the weakling garbage that they are!

Last night's Franzen dagger was a thing of beauty, as this big hulk shows some touch and can finesse! Barely past a minute into overtime, Valtteri Filppula creates a turnover in the neutral zone to Kronwall, who bounces the puck off the boards to a streaking Mule (The Streaking Mules! Now THAT would be a good name for a rock band). Franzen deeked Ellis and slipped the puck past his outstreached skate. Nice!

Filppula had a big night, scoring the only regultion Wing goal with a nice wrister early in the first period. While Val' Fil' is Finnish not Swedish, he is the best hockey player named "Val" that I have ever seen. Chris Osgood also played solid in the net. "Ozzie!" Babcock, please don't go back to Hasek.

Now I will confess that I watched this goal on the old 9-inch screen CRT in my bedroom. I had been watching the game with my 16-year-old son Joe in the living room on the big widescreen LCD through regulation. However, when Nashville was successful in tying the game with the old "pull the goalie and charge the net" trick at the end of the game, I decided that there was only one thing I could do. Pout. So I jumped out of the recliner, mumbling about having seen this game before.

Detroit outshot Nashville 53-22, completely dominating the entire game as the shot differential would suggest. These weren't long range easy Ellis stops for the most part. These were mostly high end scoring chances. But Nashville had a game plan and they worked it to perfection. While the Wings played keep away all game, skating and passing, shooting and playing hockey, Nashville threw bodies in the path, clogged up the neutral zone, played "hang around - hang around- hang around" and hope for a lucky bounce. And of course it worked. And of course I was ticked off. How many times have the Wings been bounced in early rounds by inferior opponents on the skill-o-meter by just such a travesty? I don't know either, but it's many I tell you!

So I pouted. "Look at my teenage boy on the couch," thought I, as I navigated to my bedroom. "He still thinks The Wings have a chance to win." Of course, my commitment to shun the Wings waned quickly, as I immediately tuned in on the ol' black and white. The rest is history. Franzen scores. Joe charges into my room to administer a "high five" to his father, prone and under his covers. Oh well. Obviously the life lesson I tried to teach him was for naught. On to Nashville for game 6. Hopefully the series closer, cuz I can't take too many more like this!

Lunatic Left

Superdelegates were so blown away by the Democrat debate on ABC Wednesday night, that they have bypassed Hillary and Obama and nominated George Stephanopoulos to top their ticket, with Charlie Gibson as his VP candidate. Not really. But admit it. They would be a more electable team than the current Democrat tandem of damaged goods. Dumping "Hil" and "Barry" is sage advice given by the Commander of Operation Chaos, Rush Limbaugh.

Barack Obama's disturbing quotes from the debate:
"C'mon Charlie! I go to a church with a racist, America-hating reverend for a mere 20 years, and somehow I'm labeled? C'mon now."

"I have a neighbor and friend whom I served on a board with who did some despicable things 40 years ago when I was eight, and somehow that reflects on me? Doesn't everyone have a bomb-throwing terrorist friend or two? C'mon now."

"C'mon Charlie! So I let slip my true feelings of contempt for middle America with my smug comment about these bitter honkeys "clinging to guns and religion" thing. Everyone in my circle holds those folks in contempt."

"C,mon now. Just because I don't wear a flag lapel pin or join in the National Anthem doesn't mean I don't love my country. The rest of the crap I do and say should prove my hatred on it's own merits. It's those bitter, red state, small town folks who somehow equate the American flag as some sort of patriotic symbol. C'mon now."

(Why the "C'mons"?)

OK, just having a little fun there. Obama's actual responses in the debate were even more chilling. Like this one:
"... just because you have an individual right does not mean that the state or local government can't constrain the exercise of that right," he said.

And this, after seemingly acknowledging that revenues go up when the capital gains rate is cut- "Well, Charlie, what I've said is that I would look at raising the capital gains tax for purposes of fairness."

Monkeydarts nails it yet again:

Either way, the D's ignore the facts, rely on static scoring, and say, "Raise taxes and you get more revenue, lower taxes and you get less." It's so very wrong, but it fits their demagoguery so they stick to it. But wait, Obama didn't actually leave the reservation and come over to the supply-side. Instead he said it didn't matter-- the cap gains tax needs to be doubled because it's FAIR. Fair? He advocates raising taxes on the millions of Americans who own stock, even though it decreases government revenue, because it's fair? Sheer lunacy.

Lunacy. The best one word description that is the left.

El Papa's Home run

Pope Benedict XVI batted one thousand in the Rose Garden and had this solo shot home run in the "first inning" of his visit to The United States, taking a substantial lead on the democrat secularists.

From Maximus on romancatholicblog.typepad.com, commenting on the Pope's Rose Garden address:

I hope secular media reporters and pundits paid close attention, because this is a Pope who understands America: it's history, the principles of it's Founding, and the attributes that make it great. I'd say the Holy Father understands our Founding principles better than 75% of the members of Congress.

Amen to that brother! Maximus includes the full text of The Pope's speech. Here is the closing paragraph of El Papa's address:

"Mr. President, dear friends: as I begin my visit to the United States, I express once more my gratitude for your invitation, my joy to be in your midst, and my fervent prayers that Almighty God will confirm this nation and its people in the ways of justice, prosperity and peace. God bless America!"

If this doesn't make you "verklempt", then you must be Barack Obama. Or Hillary. Or work for their campaigns. Or you are a typical democrat voter.
Battle Hymn of the Republic - US Army Chorus

How does Obama like his coffee?

Obama likes his constituants like his coffee. Rural and bitter.

OK, so maybe that joke doesn't work. Let me try again. What's white and white and red all over? Bitter, rural, gun-clinging, hayseed folks in a blender.

No? Hmmm. How about this one... How many bitter, rural, Nascar watching Americans in fly-over country does it take to change a lightbulb? They have electricity out there?

I admit that these might work better if I inserted the laugh track used in the prior post. The point is, I'm just trying to be helpful in supplying Obama with some self-deprecating comebacks. That's what Hillary did after her Bosnian airport gaffe. She went on The Tonight Show and told Leno she was pinned down by sniper fire on the way to the show. A Letterman monologue later stated that Hillary had to have shrapnel removed from her pantsuit. Of course, the studio audience laughed at Hillary's lame-a$$ed joke. "Ha ha ha! I got caught in another blatant lie! Isn't that funny!," she seems to say. It's not funny, but since she took ownership of the lie, the "evil eye" moves along, searching for a new target.

The quote that started it all:
"...And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

So what has Obama's strategy been in trying to suppress the blogoshere firestorm created from what is being referred to as "Bittergate"? “If anybody denies that people are frustrated and angry and, yes, sometimes bitter, then they are out of touch,” Obama said yesterday. Wow. He still sounds pretty smug to me.

Here is how Obama SHOULD be handling this. The next reporter who asks Obama about his elitist and arrogant feelings toward middle, small-town America, he should answer by asking, "Why did the bitter, rural chicken cross the road? (pause for confused look to spread across reporter's face. Wait for it... Got it!) Because I was chasing him."

Admittedly not very funny on it's own merits, but that's not the point. It might deflect some of the heat he is getting and fool some people into thinking he is something more than a "clean and articulate" talking mannequin.

Or he could slam back a shot of Crown Royal and screach, "Yee haw!"
No, on second thought, forget that. Nobody could be THAT gullible.

Rev. Wright & Obama in "Sanford and Son" remake

Barack Obama's crazy "like a drunk uncle to me" Reverend Jeremiah Wright was at it again. Just when you thought that Obama was successful in putting a muzzel on him, he spews racist hate speech. This time the good reverend was talking smack at a funeral of all places.

It just hit me that Jeremiah Wright reminds me of Fred G. Sanford as played by Redd Foxx in the 70's TV sitcom, Sanford and Son. I tuned in every week to watch the cantankerous but loveable junkman Fred cause all sorts of hijinks and trouble for his son Lamont, played by Demond Wilson. Fred was always getting himself, and ultimately Lamont, into some sort of pickle. It was also not unusual for Fred to spout some anti-white rhetoric in each episode. It was delivered in the "Archie Bunker" kind of way that just made you laugh. Not that racism in any form is funny, but you laughed because Fred Sanford and Archie Bunker were very funny men, and these sitcoms exposed racism for it's true nature. But I digress. Back to Jeremiah Wright.

Jeremiah Wright's resemblance to Fred Sanford is uncanny, now that I think about it. Following through with this analogy, Barack Obama would be the reverend's Lamont. See the correlation? The perfect pair to cast if ever a remake of Sanford and Son is in the works. Wright says something crude and offensive and all eyes fall on Obama for a response. Barack eloquently apologizes for Wright's hate-speech without dissassociating himself from Wright. The press fawns all over Obama and he is given a pass until the next episode. Wright again pops up somewhere and says something else outrageous, and again Lamont, errr, Obama is left with the cleanup. The cycle continues. Hate-speech/response. Hilarity ensues. In fact, all we are missing in the real world is a laugh track. You know, the canned laughter used in almost all of the TV sitcoms to let you know that what you are watching is "teh funeh". Therefore I've decided to try it here.

We return to the Rev. Wright in an episode titled, "The funeral eulogy":

Rev. Wright stands at the pulpit and begins to give the "eulogy" for a former appellate judge and congregant of Trinity United Church of Christ. Does he stand before the mourners, many of whom I'm guessing were dressed and veiled in black, to solemly speak about the judge and the righteous life he led? Or did the Rev. Wright read a bible verse to give comfort to friends and family? No. He takes this occasion to blast America’s founding fathers for slavery and white supremacy and calls Thomas Jefferson a pedophile.
[LAUGH TRACK]

See? Doesn't that sound better? Is there really a more appropriate response to Wright than laughing at him? Let's continue with the funeral. It seems the good reverend was just getting warmed up. I don't know about you, but every funeral I have ever attended, I found myself sitting in the pew silently cursing the Fox news channel...

“'FOX News can’t understand that,' Wright said to rousing cheers and applause. '[Bill] O’Reilly will never get that. Sean Hannity’s stupid fantasy will keep him forever stuck on stupid...'"
[LAUGH TRACK]

Rev. Wright is one crazy old dude, but the laugh track makes me feel that he is comical and loveable in his lunacy and prejudice, just like Sanford or Bunker, don't you think? Let's review some clips from last season's episodes...

“We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost.”
[LAUGH TRACK]
(Me on coach) Hey honey, Wright just blamed us for 9/11. This guy's a hoot!

“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.”
[LAUGH TRACK]
(Me again) Honey, can you grab the bible on the bookshelf cuz I think I missed a chapter. That Wright is a cutup!

More Wright's "best of"...
"In the 21st century, white America got a wake-up call after 9/11/01. White America and the western world came to realize that people of color had not gone away..."

“Racism is how this country was founded and how this country is still run!…We [in the U.S.] believe in white supremacy and black inferiority and believe it more than we believe in God.”

“Hillary is married to Bill, and Bill has been good to us. No he ain’t! Bill did us, just like he did Monica Lewinsky. He was riding dirty.”
[LAUGH TRACK]

Whew! That seemed to work for me. I feel much better. So much so that I plan on imagining the laugh track after every news clip I read or watch on TV involving not just the yahoo Rev. Wright, but all of the democrats. I will try laughing after every Clinton lie (talk about laugh lines). I will laugh after every arrogant, elitist, and intellectually vacant utterance of the empty suit that is Obama. (my jaw hurts from just thinking about all of this laughing!).

Laughter really is the best medicine. It sure beats a close examination of what these liberal politicians truly believe and want to inflict upon this country if given the chance. That would just make you want to cry. So let me leave you with this instead...

[LAUGH TRACK]

America to meet Pope Benedict XVI

Pope Benedict XVI is paying the United States a historic 5-day visit starting Tuesday. His Holinesses itinerary includes a meeting with President Bush, a visit to WTC's "Ground Zero", holding Masses in Washington, D.C. and New York, and addressing Catholic university presidents. The Pope's highly visible visit allows the opportunity to speak with not just American Catholics like myself, but with Americans in general, as well as an International audience.

I highly recommend Peggy Noonan's recent "much linked to" article titled, Something Beautiful Has Begun. In it, she paraphrases the Pope's "controversial" Regensburg address delivered in 2006 this way:

There he traced and limned some of the development of Christianity, but he turned first to Islam. Faith in God does not justify violence, he said. "The right use of reason" prompts us to understand that violence is incompatible with the nature of God, and the nature, therefore, of the soul. God, he quotes an ancient Byzantine ruler, "is not pleased by blood," and "not acting reasonably is contrary to God's nature." More: "To convince a reasonable soul, one does not need a strong arm." This is a message for our time, and a courageous one, too. (The speech was followed by riots and by Osama bin Laden's charge that the pope was starting a new "crusade.")

Don't forget that Sister Leonella Sgorbati was murdered in response to this address by muslim killers in Somalia.

The Pope reminds Catholics that applied faith values on abortion, euthanasia and marriage are "not negotiable." Hopefully as a result of this visit, Christian values will gain ground on the insidious creep of secularism in the U.S. (as well as an additional conversion or two, like that of Magdi Allam, who converted to Catholicism from Islam and was baptised by Pope Benedict XVI on Easter).

No surprise, security measures will be very high for Pope Benedict's visit. May he be kept safe and well, and may his message resonate.

Saturday silly

From Onion Sports:

"If I were to prohibit Dan Ellis from dwelling in the net, it would directly interfere with his ability to perform," Bettman said, insisting he would not tamper with one of the most sacred rules of hockey. "It's one of the oldest traditions of our sport that anything behind the goal line is his business."

Well, Mr. Ellis. I will admit that you are normally very good at preventing home invasion, but I think you should prepare for many more Detroit Red Wings "breaking and entering" your humble abode.

"Ding Dong"

Sounds like Tomas Holmstrom is ringing your bell. Or is it Franzen? Datsyuk? Zetterberg, is that you?

April in the D

As far as I'm concerned, the NHL playoffs began just in the Nick Lidstrom of time, as I am suffering from what I will call "Hillary/Obama drama overload fatigue" syndrome. The Detroit Red Wings beat The Nashville Predators 3-1. Zetterberg scores two and Johan "The mule" Franzen scored the other. Or, as Detroit News sports writer Bob Wojnowski puts it, "Swede to shining Swede". Yes MD, I am aware that Nabokov looked scary good in net for the Sharks last night with several highlight reel saves. Sharks and Wings will be a great matchup (fingers crossed).

Let's not forget to give a shout out to Notre Dame for their upset victory over the mighty Michigan Wolverines in last night's Frozen Four hockey semi. Notre Dame will face Boston College for the championship Saturday night at the Pepsi Center.
GO IRISH!

The Swedish 7:
Nicklas Lidstrom, Tomas Holmstrom, Henrik Zetterberg, Mikael Samuelsson, Niklas Kronwall, Johan Franzen, Andreas Lilja

Why the Swede and Irish stuff Blade?


Pictured: My Great Grandparents Nils and Ida. Great-Grandpa Nils came to America in 1881 from Ostergotland, Sweden at the age of 21 and found and married Ida in 1888. Irish blood added later on my mom's side. I don't know if Nils played hockey, but I do know that a couple of his great-great grandkids do.

Flint town entrepreneurialism

The story of the Kettering University student who built his own replica German World War II Panzer tank is old news around here, but it appears that Fox News has picked up on it. The Panzer even has a "working cannon powered by an air tank that can fire golf balls and empty cans of Red Bull." That'a boy! If there is one thing that Flint town has never lacked, it's the good old entrepreneurial spirit! (and large caliber weapons).

And I used to think I drove a tank in my "yute". While my '74 Chevrolet Impala was no Panzer, it had about the same amount of reinforced armor and got about the same gas mileage. That was a great car (*sigh*). However, it did not have a mounted cannon that shot Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans because that would have been a waste of perfectly good beer ("good beer" used loosely here. "Loosely" used as in bowels, after having drank a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer).

Early '80s- My friend (let's call him "Chris") did equip his car with a water cannon back in the day. He ran a plastic tube from the window washer reservoir and exiting near the license plate in the back. I have no idea how it was powered (I was enjoying a Pabst at the time), but I remember it had it's own button on the dash. The business end of the tube was angled in such a way that when he pressed the button, water would roostertail from the back of his car, surprizing the unsuspecting tailgater. Convertibles were the best. Chris now can fix anything around the office (including the state-of-the-art $30M press). Ahhh. Flint town entrepreneurialism.

Obligatory Petraeus post

General Petraeus testified on Capital Hill yesterday with a message that made the Democrats cringe. Namely, that we are winning. However, our gains remain "fragile and reversible" and therefore refused to buckle to a verbal onslaught for a timetable. Carl "Clueless in Michigan" Levin joined in the questioning fray of the good general. Not really a fair fight, is it? Petraeus word-slapped Levin so hard it knocked his eye glasses straight.

Of course, the Democrats "hear no progress, see no progress, and speak no progress". "I wish we could come to a point where we could come to an agreement on the facts," says Senator Lieberman in this Hotair clip.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama wants to "talk" to Iran. You needn't worry, your rhetoric of surrender and defeat has spoken loud and clear. It has allowed Mahmoud to feel comfortably emboldened in churning out thousands of new uranium-enriching centrifuges. He is obviously assuming that a democrat will win the Whitehouse in
November, and he will have free reign to accomplish his goals, which seem to be:
(A) Build bomb [ ],
(B) Nuke Tel Aviv [ ],
(C) Start armagedon [ ],
(D) Become a martyr [ ],
(E) Virgins! [ ]

Cockroaches like a darkened kitchen and the democrats have been promising to shut off the lights in the Middle East once they assumed power. The sad truth is that Iran will need to be dealt with one way or another. We better be dealing with them from a position of strength, which includes keeping them in a vise between Iraq and
Afghanistan. Makes it easier to spray the Raid if need be, dontcha think?


"I do not believe we are going to be able to stabilize the situation (in Iraq) without them (Iranians)," Barack Obobblehead-bama stated. Huh? It's the exact opposite you clayhead! The situation would stabilize in Iraq WITHOUT Iran's presence and interference. The question really is, how best to extricate Iran from Iraq and
Ahmadinejad from power. You can't negotiate for peace with this lunatic, as Obama is suggesting.

No Obama, peace must be won, which means that you and your ilk must be defeated.

"You know," Hillary lies. (Yes, we know)

I'm beginning to think that Hillary Clinton is not acquainted with the truth. There, doesn't that sound better than calling her a pathological liar, a congenital liar, a habitual truth offender, or simply a cold and calculating !itch? What's more, Hillary's fibs (sarcasm forthcoming) may not be a recent phenomenon (Take cover! incoming!).

Sorry. Had a Hillary Bosnia flashback again.

Is there a pattern here? Some of her well known whoppers date back to wild Bill's administration. Off the top of my head - there was "cattle futures", "Whitewater", "The ballad of Vinny Foster," and "Travelgate". Oh yah, and she claimed to be named after mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary when the chronology doesn't work. Her truth allergy continues as Senator. Didn't she vote for the Iraqi war resolution while being against it at the same time? So much nuance and so little time.

Of course, HillBill had always been the media's darling so they pretty much had free reign and always allotted a generous portion of "willing suspenion of disbelief." "I mispoke" was always an acceptable answer in the past. But now there is a new rock star in town named BHO. No, that doesn't stand for Bachman Hussein Overdrive. (B-b-b-b-baby you just ain't seen nuthin' yet!) Obama is apparently the new media darling and HillBill has been kicked to the curb.

How do you know Hillary is lying? I believe that it is now well documented that 98.5% of what follows a Hillary "you know" is a blatant falsehood. (Monkeydarts recently pointed out Hillary's "tortured syntax and her use of 'you know' in every sentence"). You know, she doesn't do much better without the "you know," you know?

Clinton Drops Health Insurance Nightmare Story After Facts Are Disputed
Why? It's never stopped Michael Moore.

Tigs 0-6 (whoda thunkit?)

One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell

Lynyrd Skynyrd - That Smell

Moderate Islam (and other oxymorons)

Newt Gingrich is spot on in the video below discussing the war on terror and the fight against (redundancy alert) "radical Islam". Newt starts off here by stating, "There are thousands of people across this planet who get up every morning actively seeking to destroy the United States." (video spoiler alert) No, he is not talking about Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, or any of the other democrats this statement had me assume.

Newt's sobering message is that we are sleep walking and that our "political system will not react until we lose a city." He states, "It's very hard for secular elites to understand this. Religiously driven people do things that don't calculate in nice academic faculty surroundings, and they don't calculate at the State Department, and they don't calculate in a rational way in most of our beauracracies."

You're putting it mildly Mr. Gingrich. It doesn't calculate because they are too busy worrying about not offending our enemies and trying to be PC. Talk about the typical secular elitists, nutjob Ted Turner goes so far as to assign moral equivalence to the Iraqi insurgents, calling them "patriots". Remember Bill Maher stating this, "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building? Say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

Hmmmm. This degree of idiocy would be funny if not for the sad fact that this type of "Cindy Sheehan" mentality is not fringe anymore, but has become part of the mainstream left.

Here's Newt:


This entire post is not all doom and gloom, for the good news is this: Muslims Leaving Islam in Droves (via: RIGHTWINGSPARKLE)

From correspondents in Rome:

ITALIAN editor and critic of Islamic extremism Magdi Allam, who converted to Catholicism from Islam and was baptised by Pope Benedict XVI, today branded his former faith as intrinsically violent.
"I had to do this (abandon Islam)", Allam wrote in a long letter to the Italian daily Corriere della Sera.

"Beyond ... the phenomenon of extremists and Islamist terrorism at the global level, the root of evil is inherent to a physiologically violent and historically conflictual Islam," wrote the Egyptian-born journalist, who says he has received death threats and is under police protection.

Gee Magdi, you don't seem to be drawing a moral equivalence between the message of "death to the infidels" and the message to "love thy neighbor".

You may all go back to sleep now. Zzzzzz.

Obama Vs. Clinton: "Name your poison"

GQ interview with Karl "The architect" Rove, via Newsbusters:

So the Dems have two rattled candidates?
Right. Now, you got one candidate who's got an appeal to the blue-collar Democrats: Clinton. I call them the beer drinkers. And then you got the white-wine crowd, which Obama appeals to. There's a brilliant article by Ron Brownstein in the latest issue of National Journal in which he charts the change in the nature of the Democrat-primary vote, and it's becoming younger, more affluent, and more liberal. And that means that blue-collar Democrats, whatever's left of them, are on their way out of the Democratic Party.

If Rove is right (and he usually is), then where are the beer drinking blue-collar Democrats going? Perhaps MSNBC stumbled upon the answer in this recent attempted hit piece titled, Beer heiress could be next first lady, Hotair. Here are some pulled quotes directly from the column:

"Budweiser, then NASCAR's official beer, is brewed by Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc., whose products have made Cindy McCain and her family a fortune."

"Her beer earnings have afforded the GOP presidential nominee a wealthy lifestyle with a private jet and vacation homes at his disposal, and her connections helped him launch his political career."

"Within a few years of marrying Cindy Hensley, the daughter of a multimillionaire Anheuser-Busch distributor, John McCain won his first election."

"Anheuser-Busch's political action committee was among McCain's earliest donors."

"McCain is routinely ranked among the richest senators. But a prenuptial agreement has kept most assets in his wife's name."

Oh well, John McCain was on a roll until that last one. Seems that Cindy has a paddle lock on the liquor cabinet. The point here is that John McCain loves beer drinkers. That's enough for me.

Bronner's memories

I don't like shopping, whether it be for groceries or neck ties. So as Christmas approaches, I treat any necessary holiday shopping as if I were performing a surgical strike. Get in, get the job done and get out. I especially hated shopping as kid. My mom would squeeze my hand in her vice grip as I was dragged from The Vogue to Smith Bridgeman's to Sears, as she shopped as if in a feeding frenzy. A shopper's high, if you will. I hated shopping then, and I hate shopping now. Bronner's, of course, is an exception to this rule, for it was like no department store I'd ever seen.

Growing up in Mid-Michigan has always included Christmas-time visits to Bronner's, usually after an all-you-can-eat chicken dinner at Zender's or The Bavarian Inn in downtown Frankenmuth. The Christmas lights along the river; The covered wooden bridge; horse-drawn carriages in the frosty night; the large lighted displays along the entrance to Bronner's; and then the decorations inside "Wally's world" actually seem to bring the very building itself to life. This place puts Disney's "Small World" to shame. I used to believe it was Santa's workshop at the north pole.

Inside Bronner's, while my parents would browse the shelves of tree bulbs and ornaments, I would become mesmorized by the trains that ran on tracks above my head; the life-sized mechanically moving elves; Santa and his reindeer; talking snowmen; etc. Invariably something would break me out of my trance and I would notice that my parents and siblings were nowhere to be found. This would lead to an hour spent in search parties scouring the numerous aisles of this gargantuan Christmas warehouse (I was always getting lost). Once I was found, my hand ended up back into my mother's vice grip. As I was dragged toward the exit, I would hum the Christmas tune that was playing in the background.

April 1, 2008 -- Wally Bronner dies at age 81

Over the Easter holiday, Wally wrote a goodbye letter to his staff at Bronner's Christmas Wonderland and stating that "the Christ of Christmas is ready to receive me into His heavenly kingdom."

Thank you for all of the memories (both yesterday's and tomorrow's) Mr. Bronner. God bless you, and may you rest in peace.

Weed- diculous!

So I'm driving home from work last night listening to the Phil Valentine show. He had an interesting analogy for the war on terrorism that I hadn't heard before. He equated terrorism to weeds growing in his yard. He said that the weeds were under control, but he would never be able to declare victory. Every so often, a weed crops up, requiring Phil to respond with a shot of Roundup. One time, he explained, his yard was neglected for quite a while, and the weeds took over the yard and garden. Phil fought back with his Roundup and eventually gained control once again.

Hmmm. Simple, but effective.

Obama has been attempting to make political hay out of John McCain's "100 years" in Iraq comments. McCain has made the point repeatedly that we must stay as long as it takes for victory. A peacetime presence is a helluva lot cheaper than a premature pullout coupled with a Middle East explosion of "weeds". Obama has taken out of context and outright misrepresented McCain on this at every turn. Gee, I guess he is a savy politician.

John McCain responded,

"With all due respect, he does not understand the elements, fundamental elements of national security and warfare, because that's exactly what we did in Korea and that's what we did after World War II. That's what we did in Kuwait after the first Gulf War, and it has been what's happened in conflicts we've had in the latter part of the twentieth century. He displays a fundamental misunderstanding of history, of how we've maintained national security and what we need to do in the future to maintain our security in the face of a transcendent challenge of radical Islamic extremism -- and I understand that, because he has no experience or background in any of it.

Barack Obama responds to Phil Valentine: (not really)
Mr. Valentine. You must look at your situation from the weeds perspective. You must understand the weeds rage against you. After all, you are an occupier who has made a settlement on the weeds' homeland. You make no attempt to negotiate for peace. Instead, you admit to perpetrating heinous acts of chemical warfare against these poor weeds. Weedocide! My advice to you is to give the weeds the garden. Perhaps these nuisance plants will ignore their nature of choking off life that isn't them. Perhaps they will see your initiative as an olive branch extended, and stop their march toward your front door.

Quote of the day

belongs to Nancy Pelosi, as she is butting into foreign policy again (always a scary trip):

WASHINGTON — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Monday that President Bush should consider boycotting the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics following China's crackdown on protesters in Tibet.
"I think boycotting the opening ceremony, which really gives respect to the Chinese government, is something that should be kept on the table," Pelosi, D-Calif., said in an interview taped for airing Tuesday on ABC's "Good Morning America." "I think the president might want to rethink this later, depending on what other heads of state do."

Yes I know I linked this story from the Huffington Post, but trust me, the reader comments from this site are much more entertaining. As for Pelosi, the key part of her statement is the very last chunk, "depending on what other heads of state do." Well there you go. Our decision on whether or not to appear for the opening ceremony should be made by France. Or Germany. Or Argentina. Hells bells, according to the left, our entire foreign policy should be dictated by what the rest of the world would have us do. Let's just do a poll for everything and leave our national security to it's whims.

In a recent trip to Tibet, Pelosi stated,"If freedom-loving people don't speak out against China's oppression of people in Tibet, we have lost all moral authority to speak out against any oppressed people."

Oh, I get it. Let's pull out of Iraq and declare defeat. When the terrorists in Iraq reopen the death camps, we could "speak out". When the emboldened islamofacists view us as weak and plot and execute more acts of mass murder, we could "speak out". When they bring the fight back to our shores during a democratic isolationist administration, we could "speak out".

It just hit me... Now I know who Pelosi reminds me of! She is so desirous of the democrats regaining executive power ("my precious" power!)...