HOW WILL THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN AFFECT SCHEDULED SQUIRREL DAY FESTIVITIES IN YOUR AREA?
There are no government sponsored parades, picnics, fireworks... puppet shows... NUTHIN in my area today. THANKS FOR NUTTIN' DONALD TRUMP! I had been looking forward to celebrating Squirrel Appreciation Day for a very long time, if not since 5 minutes ago when I learned of this new holiday.
NOTE: To the wildlife rehabilitator who created this fake holiday 17 years ago. You really should re-name this fake holiday to something a little more catchy and memorable. How about calling it -
LOLLASQUIRRELKWANZAA!
THANKFULLY, My Imaginary Pocket Therapy Animal is actually not a squirrel, but a Russian black-capped marmot named Checkov, and will not be affected by this shutdown.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go outside and erect a barricade around my Maple tree with the squirrel feeder hanging from the lower branch. Sorry neighborhood rodents, but I must artificially inflict as much public pain during this government shutdown as possible. I learned this nefarious trick from Obama.
Squirrel appreciation day? My goodness, since I read your post, I've finally recognized why I have this deep longing on January 21st to celebrate the scurrying of the tree rodents that inhabit my trees. With this government shutdown, I'll now have to ignore these longings and return to my usual efforts to rid my trees of the destructive rodents that ignore the sanctity of my dwelling.
ReplyDeleteI need to write Schumer a nasty letter, and maybe send him a squirrel tail.
It only costs a Benjamin to celebrate Squirrel Day properly.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.crosman.com/airguns/benjamin-airguns/maximus-22-scope
Hang tough, Jess. Help (and nuts) are on the one! I have a suggestion on what Schumer can do with that squirrel tail too that just might confuse his gastroenterologist.
ReplyDeleteCareful, Ed. You'll put your eye out! @ good laughs for the day. I'm rich! :)
I hope no squirrels were harmed in the writing of this missive. Ed, I keep my squirrels well fed in case Kimmy detonates an EMP above America, I will have some food living nearby.
ReplyDeleteKid, HA! Now all you need is a bunch of miniature shock collars and an Invisible Fence around the back 40.
ReplyDelete