Happy Halloween!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Treat Please!
Happy Halloween!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
World's crappiest picture of the coolest Hunter's Moon
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Republican's War on Chili Peppers!
Recognizing The Right Of Plants To Evolve
Thank Gaia for NPR, HuffingGlue Post and the rest of the liberal media. You don't hear a peep about this issue from the fetus-loving Faux News watchers.
In other news, President Obama holds a 12 point lead in the latest poll of vegetables.
Thank Gaia for NPR, HuffingGlue Post and the rest of the liberal media. You don't hear a peep about this issue from the fetus-loving Faux News watchers.
In other news, President Obama holds a 12 point lead in the latest poll of vegetables.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Noc the talking Beluga whale endorses Romney
Earlier this week the story broke regarding a beluga whale stunning researchers with it's imitation of the human voice. Since then, Noc has been speaking to reporters in unbroken and flawless English.
"I was just messing with those San Diego dope-smoking marine biologists by throwing them the irritating Flipper squeaks," said a clean and articulate Noc.
Noc told reporters he decided to drop his ruse because of the importance of this upcoming election.
"I might be just a talking cetacean in a big fish bowl, but even I know we can't afford another term from Obama. Consider this my official endorsement of Mitt Romney."
Joe Biden made a detour to the aquarium after hearing about Noc, and subsequently suffered a horrible impromptu debate loss at the fins of the bulbous headed mammal. "Seriously, I thought he was Bob Beckel," explained Biden.
Noc told reporters his sparring partner in preparation for his debate with Biden was a Sea anemone.
"It's the best stand-in for Joe I could find down there. They both have a column shaped body ending in an oral disc, and a brainless and primitive central nervous system. Honestly, the sea anemone gave me a tougher time than Joe," stated Noc, several octaves lower than typical whale calls and with a slight Wales accent.
"I was just messing with those San Diego dope-smoking marine biologists by throwing them the irritating Flipper squeaks," said a clean and articulate Noc.
Noc told reporters he decided to drop his ruse because of the importance of this upcoming election.
"I might be just a talking cetacean in a big fish bowl, but even I know we can't afford another term from Obama. Consider this my official endorsement of Mitt Romney."
Joe Biden made a detour to the aquarium after hearing about Noc, and subsequently suffered a horrible impromptu debate loss at the fins of the bulbous headed mammal. "Seriously, I thought he was Bob Beckel," explained Biden.
Noc told reporters his sparring partner in preparation for his debate with Biden was a Sea anemone.
"It's the best stand-in for Joe I could find down there. They both have a column shaped body ending in an oral disc, and a brainless and primitive central nervous system. Honestly, the sea anemone gave me a tougher time than Joe," stated Noc, several octaves lower than typical whale calls and with a slight Wales accent.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Replica Moia or Obama bust? You decide!
Today's Palate Cleanser Pop Quiz:
The following 1 minute 47 second video taken along a Hawaiian road shows...
1) Researchers demonstrating their controversial theory on how the Easter Island Moai statues were transported from the island's rock quarries to their final position.
2) Obama's recently completed 10-foot, 8,700-pound Presidential bust he had commissioned for his planned library being "walked" by disillusioned students toward the Kilauea Volcano for recycling.
Apparently, archaeologists don't all agree on just how these Polynesian megaliths were moved. Some believe the statues were laid prone and rolled along on logs, while others have adopted this "rockin' the fridge" strategy used in the video.
Sadly, we know more about the origin of these 800-year-old Moai and how they got to where they are today then we do the 51-year-old Obama.
Maybe he really WAS born in Hawaii! Maybe he DID excel in college! Maybe he really DOES love this country!
“It’s a great story but the archaeological evidence doesn’t really support it,” said one archaeologists.
The following 1 minute 47 second video taken along a Hawaiian road shows...
1) Researchers demonstrating their controversial theory on how the Easter Island Moai statues were transported from the island's rock quarries to their final position.
2) Obama's recently completed 10-foot, 8,700-pound Presidential bust he had commissioned for his planned library being "walked" by disillusioned students toward the Kilauea Volcano for recycling.
Apparently, archaeologists don't all agree on just how these Polynesian megaliths were moved. Some believe the statues were laid prone and rolled along on logs, while others have adopted this "rockin' the fridge" strategy used in the video.
Sadly, we know more about the origin of these 800-year-old Moai and how they got to where they are today then we do the 51-year-old Obama.
Maybe he really WAS born in Hawaii! Maybe he DID excel in college! Maybe he really DOES love this country!
“It’s a great story but the archaeological evidence doesn’t really support it,” said one archaeologists.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
What divides us - What unites us
Over
the past few months and weeks, both opponents have traveled from city to city
touting their wares and raising their games. Last night's contest marked the
end of the preliminary battles. As the dust settles, it's just mano y mano.
EAT 'EM UP TIGERS!
The
table is now set, as both combatants sprint toward the finish line of what is
quite possibly the most contentious contest in our nation's history. Soon,
opinion polls predicting one thing while the next predicts another simply won't
matter.
Those
who know me are quite aware of where my allegiance lies. I will concede that
the object of my derision even had a good night last night. But no one can make
an honest assessment that somehow that equates to my side having a bad night.
Yes,
we've been here before, and some are so turned off by the heated battle that
they have tuned out, wrongly believing this to be "just another
contest".
To
them I say, "this year it's different!" The choices couldn't be more
stark and implications of the wrong side winning more dire! In this, you must
pick a side, and the other side is quite literally standing on shaky ground.
The
final showdown approaches, and like the Civil War, Americans faceoff against
one another. However, when the battle is over and the righteous have vanquished
their illegitimate foe, we will unite again as Americans – under the World
Series pennant that will fly proudly about Comerica Park in Detroit – home of
our beloved Tigers.
EAT 'EM UP TIGERS!
Monday, October 22, 2012
WORDS with Socialists
Just a couple weeks before the election, so did Obama use his time last week pointing to his accomplishments and laying out his agenda for the next four years?
No. He spent the past week doing his best Jeff Foxworthy imitation, swapping out Foxworthy's punchline of "You might be a redneck" with "...you might have Romnesia."
ROMNEY: “They have been reduced to petty attacks and silly word games.”
I'm actually impressed by Obama finding yet another silly deflection and obfuscation rather than too intense of a focus on his astronomical failures, even given a complicit and willing media. That takes some very unique talent.
I can see Obama taking this theme into the final debate tonight:
BOB SCHIEFFER: Good evening from Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida. I'm Bob Schieffer of CBS, and I welcome you to the final of the 2012 presidential debates between President Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee, and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, the Republican nominee. The topic is foreign policy. President Obama, let's begin with you.
OBAMA: Well, thank you very much Bob. I want to thank Governor Romney and Lynn University here in beautiful Boca Raton for your hospitality. As residents of Boca Raton, you may already be aware that the letters of the city's name can be rearranged to spell the phrase, "Not a Cobra". Aaaaand that's me. I am not a snake like my opponent Mitt Romney... or should I call him... "A Robot Can"... Cuz robots are stiff aaaand not cool like me. see how I did that? I used all of the letters from Boca Raton! That's called an anagram... anagramnesia! I might have anagramnesia!
BOB SCHIEFFER: Two minutes Mr. Romney.
MITT: Let's get this on the record. After this debate, Iran will be 90 minutes closer to obtaining a nuclear weapon and the president is playing word games!
OBAMA: Actually, Bob, Iran has not only recently agreed to one-on-one talks, they have agreed to fully surrender but only if I am reelected. And by the way, your first name of "BOB" is an example of a palindrome, which of course has nothing to do with Sarah Palin, but is a word or sentence that reads the same forward as it does backward.
MITT: "...? Iran has agreed to surrender? They've done no such thing..."
BOB SCHIEFFER (interrupting): They... they... they did in fact surrender, sir. So let me -- let me call it an act of surrender.”
OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder Bob? Get the transcript I gave you earlier. By the way, "BOBS CHIEF REF". Get it Mitt? Can we play Rebus now?
No. He spent the past week doing his best Jeff Foxworthy imitation, swapping out Foxworthy's punchline of "You might be a redneck" with "...you might have Romnesia."
ROMNEY: “They have been reduced to petty attacks and silly word games.”
I'm actually impressed by Obama finding yet another silly deflection and obfuscation rather than too intense of a focus on his astronomical failures, even given a complicit and willing media. That takes some very unique talent.
I can see Obama taking this theme into the final debate tonight:
BOB SCHIEFFER: Good evening from Lynn University in Boca Raton, Florida. I'm Bob Schieffer of CBS, and I welcome you to the final of the 2012 presidential debates between President Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee, and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, the Republican nominee. The topic is foreign policy. President Obama, let's begin with you.
OBAMA: Well, thank you very much Bob. I want to thank Governor Romney and Lynn University here in beautiful Boca Raton for your hospitality. As residents of Boca Raton, you may already be aware that the letters of the city's name can be rearranged to spell the phrase, "Not a Cobra". Aaaaand that's me. I am not a snake like my opponent Mitt Romney... or should I call him... "A Robot Can"... Cuz robots are stiff aaaand not cool like me. see how I did that? I used all of the letters from Boca Raton! That's called an anagram... anagramnesia! I might have anagramnesia!
BOB SCHIEFFER: Two minutes Mr. Romney.
MITT: Let's get this on the record. After this debate, Iran will be 90 minutes closer to obtaining a nuclear weapon and the president is playing word games!
OBAMA: Actually, Bob, Iran has not only recently agreed to one-on-one talks, they have agreed to fully surrender but only if I am reelected. And by the way, your first name of "BOB" is an example of a palindrome, which of course has nothing to do with Sarah Palin, but is a word or sentence that reads the same forward as it does backward.
MITT: "...? Iran has agreed to surrender? They've done no such thing..."
BOB SCHIEFFER (interrupting): They... they... they did in fact surrender, sir. So let me -- let me call it an act of surrender.”
OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder Bob? Get the transcript I gave you earlier. By the way, "BOBS CHIEF REF". Get it Mitt? Can we play Rebus now?
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sandra Fluke "Stump 'N Humps" 10 voters at a time
Sandra Fluke, the liberal activist who's 15 minutes of fame came from her attempts to secure Catholic-funded contraception from Georgetown Universities health coverage is back in the news - this time doing some "stump and hump" for the obama regime.
Chattering Teeth has uncovered the rest of Fluke's schedule. After the Sak ‘N Save in Reno, she will be appearing at the following locations (with convoy of condoms in tow) right up until the election.
Cornholio's Quickie SaK in Rough And Ready, California
Piggly Wiggly and Porks-a-Lot in Humptulips, Washington
Hornbacher's Fresh and Easy in Dime Box, Texas
Trader Hoe's in Hooker Hole, Louisiana
Handy Andy's Cash, Bash & Carry in Lick Skillet, Virginia
Bottom Dollar Supermarket in Possum Trot, Kentucky
In case you missed it
A Philosophical Night With Sandra Fluke
Sandra Fluke, the woman at the center of a media firestorm earlier this year after Rush Limbaugh called her a “slut,” spoke Saturday in front of about 10 people at the Sak ‘N Save in north Reno... “I’m trying to do everything I can for an election that I feel is very important. I have a unique opportunity for how I get to do that,” said Fluke.FLUKE: "I was asked by the administration if I would 'do what I do best' in the swing states. I told them, 'sure, I'm used to being popular for just 15 minutes at a time, but I'm gonna need a dozen or so 18-wheeler tractor-trailors full of condoms.' I'm used to doing "Sak 'N Saves" in college, which is how I compensated my homework tutors."
Chattering Teeth has uncovered the rest of Fluke's schedule. After the Sak ‘N Save in Reno, she will be appearing at the following locations (with convoy of condoms in tow) right up until the election.
Cornholio's Quickie SaK in Rough And Ready, California
Piggly Wiggly and Porks-a-Lot in Humptulips, Washington
Hornbacher's Fresh and Easy in Dime Box, Texas
Trader Hoe's in Hooker Hole, Louisiana
Handy Andy's Cash, Bash & Carry in Lick Skillet, Virginia
Bottom Dollar Supermarket in Possum Trot, Kentucky
In case you missed it
A Philosophical Night With Sandra Fluke
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Obama in Rose Garden: Too early to tell if failed truck bomber a terrorist
I think it's a little premature for the rightwing media to label Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis a "terrorist". My goodness, I wish I had a dime for very time I parked a truck full of thousands of pounds of inert material in front of a federal building in lower Manhattan. Maybe he was just urban farming!
Some could argue the current administration is nothing more than 1,000 pounds of inert material, so where's the crime?
Officials claim that Quazi parked a van that he thought was filled with explosives in front of the Federal Reserve building, then went across the street and tried to set it off using a cell phone he thought was the detonator.
Excuse me, but perhaps it was just his Obamaphone and he was checking on his foreign student aid check. Let's just automatically jump to conclusions Fox News and assume the olive skinned Muslim gentleman is a terrorist!
I'm not saying this 21-year-old Bangladeshi man is completely innocent, I just think we need several weeks before we have enough evidence to emphatically state that this was a failed terrorist plot. Until there is actual evidence, we should give Q Tip the benefit of the doubt. For all we know, he stumbled across that disgusting YouTube video and spontaneously began to demonstrate.
But let's assume Quazimodo thought his truck bed full of sheep shit was explosive! Does that mean Quazi's crazy? Has anyone considered he may have been neighbors with Bill Ayers, and this is nothing more than just some youthful overexuberance?
Listen, when I heard how Q was treated by authorities at the scene, my stomach turned. While I don't yet have all the facts, it's clear the FBI acted stupidly. Do you know that he was actually forced to show his identification? I'm sorry, but I don't want to live in a society under that kind of threat. I agree that his comments to FBI agents seem to condemn him at first blush:
Quazi: “All I had in my mind are how to destroy America ... I came up to this conclusion that targeting America’s economy is most efficient way to draw the path of obliteration of America.”
But didn't President Obama say the same thing at the last debate? OK, maybe he didn't say it, but certainly that has been Obama's glorious strategy, peace be unto him.
The point is, can we all just take a deep breath and wait the 2 or 3 weeks it will take for officials to get their visa's to Bangladesh in order to search Q man's apartment for evidence? Clearly, Mr. Quantanamo should be allowed his freedom until after the election so that it is not a disruption in his defense (and so he has a chance to vote).
Some could argue the current administration is nothing more than 1,000 pounds of inert material, so where's the crime?
Officials claim that Quazi parked a van that he thought was filled with explosives in front of the Federal Reserve building, then went across the street and tried to set it off using a cell phone he thought was the detonator.
Excuse me, but perhaps it was just his Obamaphone and he was checking on his foreign student aid check. Let's just automatically jump to conclusions Fox News and assume the olive skinned Muslim gentleman is a terrorist!
I'm not saying this 21-year-old Bangladeshi man is completely innocent, I just think we need several weeks before we have enough evidence to emphatically state that this was a failed terrorist plot. Until there is actual evidence, we should give Q Tip the benefit of the doubt. For all we know, he stumbled across that disgusting YouTube video and spontaneously began to demonstrate.
But let's assume Quazimodo thought his truck bed full of sheep shit was explosive! Does that mean Quazi's crazy? Has anyone considered he may have been neighbors with Bill Ayers, and this is nothing more than just some youthful overexuberance?
Listen, when I heard how Q was treated by authorities at the scene, my stomach turned. While I don't yet have all the facts, it's clear the FBI acted stupidly. Do you know that he was actually forced to show his identification? I'm sorry, but I don't want to live in a society under that kind of threat. I agree that his comments to FBI agents seem to condemn him at first blush:
Quazi: “All I had in my mind are how to destroy America ... I came up to this conclusion that targeting America’s economy is most efficient way to draw the path of obliteration of America.”
But didn't President Obama say the same thing at the last debate? OK, maybe he didn't say it, but certainly that has been Obama's glorious strategy, peace be unto him.
The point is, can we all just take a deep breath and wait the 2 or 3 weeks it will take for officials to get their visa's to Bangladesh in order to search Q man's apartment for evidence? Clearly, Mr. Quantanamo should be allowed his freedom until after the election so that it is not a disruption in his defense (and so he has a chance to vote).
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
NEW! Benghazi Board Game fun!
Benghazi, by Halfbro is a mix of all your favorite traditional board games, but with a twist.
It's like RISK, in that you start by placing your plastic game piece Diplomats on the board and decide whether to support them with security details. It's like Yahtzee, in that you can "roll the dice" on your diplomat's safety if you believe it might hurt your image. It's like Dungeons and Dragons, as a player is picked to be the Candy Mountain Dugeon Master Moderator who decides what monsters attack, and throwing flags at players she doesn't like. It's like Monopoly, only the opposite. Players who collect the most money by following the rules are considered out of touch and must be scorned. At the end of the game, the losers physically remove the money from a player who earned it to win the game.
Object: Score the most points by rolling dice then lying! Hilarious fun for the whole spontaneous mob!
Disclaimer: Disgusting video insulting the prophet not included.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The Ace is on the mound tonight up two to zip.
To those who are worried that tonight's debate obamanator moderator, Candy Crowley, will follow through with her threat to reinterpret audience members' questions - there is a solution.
Shock collar.
Now, assuming one big enough to go around her neck can be found quickly enough, a shock collar just might provide the right amount of negative reinforcement to Candy so she does not feel compelled to become part of the story.
‘Hey, wait a second, what about X, Y, Z?'
ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPP!
Shock collar.
Now, assuming one big enough to go around her neck can be found quickly enough, a shock collar just might provide the right amount of negative reinforcement to Candy so she does not feel compelled to become part of the story.
‘Hey, wait a second, what about X, Y, Z?'
ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPP!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Springsteen Stumps for Obama
Great news. Springsteen to Campaign For Obama in Ohio. Think what you will of Springsteen, but certainly he is entitled to his opinion - especially when he sings them. What better musical match for the nonsensical democrat platform than the gravelly-voiced Boss of unintelligible and mumbled lyrics. I used to listen to his music 30 years ago in my youth when I never gave politics more than a passing glance. I liked his music then, even though I had no idea what he was singing about. That pretty much sums up Obama's supporters.
SPRINGSTEEN STUMP SPEECH: It's all cold down along the beach, the wind's whipping down the boardwalk... Hey band! (Yeah? Hey, babe!) You guys know what time of year it is? (Yeah!) What time, huh? What? (Election time!) What? (Election time!) Oh, Election time! You guys all, you guys all been good and practicing real hard? Yeah? Clarence, you been, you been rehearsing real hard now, so Obama'll bring you a new Obamaphone, right? Everybody out there been good, or what? Oh, that's not many, not many, you guys are in trouble out here!
Fast forward. If Obama is re-elected, and a few years later when I'm warming my hands at a campfire with Ted Nugent while the venison cooks on the skewers - our survival clan might look down from our temporary hilltop campsite upon the burned out shell of a once-great American city as it smolders in ruin. Uncle Teddly pulls out his acoustic guitar, electricity a distant memory, and begins to play Free For All.
Here we go, look out below I'm on the prowl tonight - When it's said and done I have my fun I can chew anything I bite - Come one, come all to a midnight ball The invitation's there - I come alone and I'm drivin' home I'm healthy, I do declare It's a free-for-all.
I hope those Obama voter zombies stumbling around with their useless dried up obamaphones on the dark streets below get enough to eat tonight.
SPRINGSTEEN STUMP SPEECH: It's all cold down along the beach, the wind's whipping down the boardwalk... Hey band! (Yeah? Hey, babe!) You guys know what time of year it is? (Yeah!) What time, huh? What? (Election time!) What? (Election time!) Oh, Election time! You guys all, you guys all been good and practicing real hard? Yeah? Clarence, you been, you been rehearsing real hard now, so Obama'll bring you a new Obamaphone, right? Everybody out there been good, or what? Oh, that's not many, not many, you guys are in trouble out here!
Fast forward. If Obama is re-elected, and a few years later when I'm warming my hands at a campfire with Ted Nugent while the venison cooks on the skewers - our survival clan might look down from our temporary hilltop campsite upon the burned out shell of a once-great American city as it smolders in ruin. Uncle Teddly pulls out his acoustic guitar, electricity a distant memory, and begins to play Free For All.
Here we go, look out below I'm on the prowl tonight - When it's said and done I have my fun I can chew anything I bite - Come one, come all to a midnight ball The invitation's there - I come alone and I'm drivin' home I'm healthy, I do declare It's a free-for-all.
I hope those Obama voter zombies stumbling around with their useless dried up obamaphones on the dark streets below get enough to eat tonight.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Obama's grueling Debate Boot Camp
Obama is currently engaged in a Three-Day Debate Boot Camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, where he will be hunkered down preparing for his debate Tuesday with Gov. Mitt Romney.
What exactly is a Debate Boot Camp, and can Obama complete one pushup without cheating?
When I think of boot camps, I think of my favorite move drill sergeants. R Lee Ermey as Sgt Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, Warren Oates as Sgt. Hulka in Stripes and Louis Gosset Jr. as Sgt. Emil Foley in Officer and a Gentleman.
So is this what some of the behind-the-scenes looks like for Obama at his boot camp?
Empty Suit Jacket
SGT. HARTMAN: "Only Wildebeests and dog eaters come from Kenya private community organizer, and you don't much look like a Wildebeests to me so that kinda narrows it down."
Benghazi Bloody Stripes
SGT. HULKA: "Welcome to Debate Boot Camp. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mama (and the state-controlled press corp) is not here to take care of you now. In today's exercise, we're going to be talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it"
An Officer and a Socialist
SGT. FOLLEY: "Candidate Barryo's strutting in the dirt; Look at his face, he's starting to hurt; Here he is, thinking he's a great big star; But before too long he's gonna D.O.R.; Seen guys like you a hundred times; I'm telling you, Barryo, I'm one of a kind; Gonna give you more than you can take; I'm gonna watch you crumble and watch you break!"
OBAMA: "Don't you do it! Don't! You... I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g... I got nothin' else"
Apparently, Obama's actual debate prep isn't so grueling.
From the Political Commentator, Barack Obama: Pictures from Debate Camp!
"Debate Camp" is being held at a luxury golf resort in Williamsburg, Virginia by the name Kingsmill.
Golf resort debate prep? No wonder Obama kept his head down for most of the entire first debate. He must have confused the debate coach advice with his personal golf coach who told him: "Keeping your head down is the first step towards guaranteeing a low score".
Obama also found golfing more difficult when he used his arrogant "scanning of the horizon with his nose and chin in the air" during his golf swing.
What's confusing is that some advice Obama receives from his debate coach and golf coach are virtually identical. For example, see if you can spot which coach this advice came from...
Learn to be indifferent about results. No matter what the results from (shot to shot/jobs and ambassador killing agenda), stick with the (swing thought/class warefare thought) that you know works. You have to be indifferent about shot results to think and play consistently.
Let your right hand go along for the ride. Take a relaxed grip... keep your right hand passive and let it just go along for the ride.
Use your wedge for virtually every chip, regardless of its length or the quality of the lie. Once you get to know the club's idiosyncrasies, you can learn to play all kinds of chips by adjusting your position, choking up or down, and opening or closing the face. Remember, your sand wedge is the most versatile weapon in your bag.
Let your lie tell you what to do. Pay more attention to your lie on short-game shots. Beautiful shots around the greens are usually due to the player having a decent lie (and a complicit media). If you have a poor lie (poor record), focus on hitting the ball hard enough (deflect and detract by attacking opponent) to carry whatever's in front of you and get it on the green.
So in conclusion, Obama is preparing for his upcoming debate on Tuesday with marathon tax-payer funded golf lessons, followed by sessions in the Hyperbaric Chamber.
What exactly is a Debate Boot Camp, and can Obama complete one pushup without cheating?
When I think of boot camps, I think of my favorite move drill sergeants. R Lee Ermey as Sgt Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, Warren Oates as Sgt. Hulka in Stripes and Louis Gosset Jr. as Sgt. Emil Foley in Officer and a Gentleman.
So is this what some of the behind-the-scenes looks like for Obama at his boot camp?
Empty Suit Jacket
SGT. HARTMAN: "Only Wildebeests and dog eaters come from Kenya private community organizer, and you don't much look like a Wildebeests to me so that kinda narrows it down."
Benghazi Bloody Stripes
SGT. HULKA: "Welcome to Debate Boot Camp. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mama (and the state-controlled press corp) is not here to take care of you now. In today's exercise, we're going to be talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it"
An Officer and a Socialist
SGT. FOLLEY: "Candidate Barryo's strutting in the dirt; Look at his face, he's starting to hurt; Here he is, thinking he's a great big star; But before too long he's gonna D.O.R.; Seen guys like you a hundred times; I'm telling you, Barryo, I'm one of a kind; Gonna give you more than you can take; I'm gonna watch you crumble and watch you break!"
OBAMA: "Don't you do it! Don't! You... I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g... I got nothin' else"
Apparently, Obama's actual debate prep isn't so grueling.
From the Political Commentator, Barack Obama: Pictures from Debate Camp!
"Debate Camp" is being held at a luxury golf resort in Williamsburg, Virginia by the name Kingsmill.
Golf resort debate prep? No wonder Obama kept his head down for most of the entire first debate. He must have confused the debate coach advice with his personal golf coach who told him: "Keeping your head down is the first step towards guaranteeing a low score".
Obama also found golfing more difficult when he used his arrogant "scanning of the horizon with his nose and chin in the air" during his golf swing.
What's confusing is that some advice Obama receives from his debate coach and golf coach are virtually identical. For example, see if you can spot which coach this advice came from...
Learn to be indifferent about results. No matter what the results from (shot to shot/jobs and ambassador killing agenda), stick with the (swing thought/class warefare thought) that you know works. You have to be indifferent about shot results to think and play consistently.
Let your right hand go along for the ride. Take a relaxed grip... keep your right hand passive and let it just go along for the ride.
Use your wedge for virtually every chip, regardless of its length or the quality of the lie. Once you get to know the club's idiosyncrasies, you can learn to play all kinds of chips by adjusting your position, choking up or down, and opening or closing the face. Remember, your sand wedge is the most versatile weapon in your bag.
Let your lie tell you what to do. Pay more attention to your lie on short-game shots. Beautiful shots around the greens are usually due to the player having a decent lie (and a complicit media). If you have a poor lie (poor record), focus on hitting the ball hard enough (deflect and detract by attacking opponent) to carry whatever's in front of you and get it on the green.
So in conclusion, Obama is preparing for his upcoming debate on Tuesday with marathon tax-payer funded golf lessons, followed by sessions in the Hyperbaric Chamber.
Friday, October 12, 2012
There are 800 Million Billion reasons to read this blog
"Inappropriate laughing" - "Rude interruptions and outbursts" - "Smug and disrespectful" - "Arrogant buffoon" - "Drunk uncle"
Actual eyewitness account:
"There was always something off about him. He repeated himself multiple times about subjects with no relevance. There were several times when it was obvious he was trying to remember a memorized statistic. He'd get this wide-eyed look of panic and would start stuttering."
Do you really think Joe Biden did THAT poorly in the VP debate?
Wha...? Biden? No. I'll give you my debate review in a moment. The above references are in regards to that Michigan State University professor of mathematics of 28 years who had an in-class nervous breakdown that resulted in him "dropping trow" and running naked through the hallway earlier this month.
I was in Calc 1 at Michigan State University, and my teacher was always pretty eccentric, but today he went overboard. Half way through class he started screaming at us, swearing left and right. He then started slamming his hands on the window and pressing his face against it, still screaming. Eventually he walked out and down the hallway to the end, all while screaming. He then came back into the classroom and took off his clothes, except for his socks. You know someones crazy when they leave their socks on lmao. At this point everyone in class ran out. We were literally scared for his life. The police took about 15 minutes to get here, and during this time he continued walking around screaming. He went between apologizing, yelling at us for sucking at math, and just plain gibberish.He was just teaching and then started talking, then crying, then angry and screaming and shit.
It has been reported that the professor has been hospitalized and is resting comfortably.
Now as for the VP debate... It was obvious the obama campaign was upset about Romney rolling the president last week, with Barack coming off as a petulant child, and the strategy was for Joe to turn the tables by treating Ryan like a child. It backfired. I really was expecting Joe to drop trow and I thought he would end up hospital roomies with the math professor by the end of the night.
Actual eyewitness account:
"There was always something off about him. He repeated himself multiple times about subjects with no relevance. There were several times when it was obvious he was trying to remember a memorized statistic. He'd get this wide-eyed look of panic and would start stuttering."
Do you really think Joe Biden did THAT poorly in the VP debate?
Wha...? Biden? No. I'll give you my debate review in a moment. The above references are in regards to that Michigan State University professor of mathematics of 28 years who had an in-class nervous breakdown that resulted in him "dropping trow" and running naked through the hallway earlier this month.
I was in Calc 1 at Michigan State University, and my teacher was always pretty eccentric, but today he went overboard. Half way through class he started screaming at us, swearing left and right. He then started slamming his hands on the window and pressing his face against it, still screaming. Eventually he walked out and down the hallway to the end, all while screaming. He then came back into the classroom and took off his clothes, except for his socks. You know someones crazy when they leave their socks on lmao. At this point everyone in class ran out. We were literally scared for his life. The police took about 15 minutes to get here, and during this time he continued walking around screaming. He went between apologizing, yelling at us for sucking at math, and just plain gibberish.He was just teaching and then started talking, then crying, then angry and screaming and shit.
It has been reported that the professor has been hospitalized and is resting comfortably.
Now as for the VP debate... It was obvious the obama campaign was upset about Romney rolling the president last week, with Barack coming off as a petulant child, and the strategy was for Joe to turn the tables by treating Ryan like a child. It backfired. I really was expecting Joe to drop trow and I thought he would end up hospital roomies with the math professor by the end of the night.
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