Startling New Picture Shows Comet ICON May Be Breaking Up

CHATTERING TEETH - A blogger and self-described stargazer from Swartz Creek, Michigan, known simply as 'DaBlade', has captured what is believed to be unique photographic evidence that the once mighty Comet ICON is in the process of disintegrating. This comet was once hailed by Astronomers worldwide as potentially the greatest astronomical spectacle in our lifetime, but more and more agree that it is turning out to be a dim and disappointing smudge.

5 Things You Need to Know About Comet ICON

What is its real name? Strictly speaking this comet should be referred to as Comet Soetoro/2008, but it was renamed for convenience sake after being discovered by a couple of commies.

Why all the excitement? Its a dynamically new, never before seen comet. Just gazing upon its majesty is believed to make one a better person.

Where is it from?: Nobody is really sure. Some think it is from the Oort Cloud, the little-known shell of literally trillions of comet nuclei lying tens of thousands of AU (1 AU =150 million km) from the Sun. Others believe its from Kenya.

What is it? Despite its bright exterior and candy-coated shell, Comet ICON's nucleus is now understood to be comprised of a sooty lump of frozen promises and broken dreams, with veins of icy bullshit.

Why is it breaking up now? Comet ICON has survived just fine in the cold, dark vacuum of space where no competing ideas were allowed to penetrate. However, as it approaches the disinfecting heat of the sun and bombards it with rays of truth and light, it breaks away its facade of lies.

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