Second Amendment vaccine cures ISIS

This blog was able to obtain the rest of the story thorough investigative reporting, a half bottle of homemade pumpkin spiced rum and an inexpensive hooker.

Chattering Teeth News reports that a large shipment of newly manufactured axes meant for an outdoor hunting and camping supplies store was mistakenly delivered to the loading docks of a  radical islamonazi mosque.

President Obama cautions the public not to panic, and stated that this incident was not related to the weapons drop meant for the Kurds this week that was instead delivered directly into the hands of ISIS.    

OBAMA: Let me be clear. You can't catch ISIS unless an axe wielding izlamonazi jihadist comes in direct contact with your bodily fluids.

Meanwhile... Hatchet assault on New York police comes during fears of Islamist attacks

Target: Men in uniform - (This) attack is the third on people in uniform in North America in a week. ISIS, the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq, has recently called to sympathizers in the West to carry out attacks against men and women in uniform.

Rioting residents in Ferguson, MO promise to respond to this call.

And now a word from our sponsors... Walmart announces huge sale of pressure cookers... just as soon as their overdue shipment arrives from Liberia.