Judge Watson has ordered Greg Gianforte, the newly elected Republican congressman from Montana, to bake a gay wedding cake for Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs. This, after Gianforte has been charged with assault for allegedly body-slamming the snowflake reporter and breaking his glasses (and possibly tearing his onesie).
"I didn't body-slam the guy," insisted Gianforte. "He barged in uninvited and stuck that microphone right in my face. I said, 'get that thing away from me,' but he just kept repeating, 'it's not touching you, it's not touching you,' so I brushed his hand away... I gave him the 'Melania' treatment. And then the li'l fella goes FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM!"
I heard they would have made him bake a pizza too, if he'd had put him the hospital. If he'd had killed him, they would have given him an award.
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously thinking the reporter-ette damaged himself. Happens more than one might think.
ReplyDeleteJess, How upset do they expect we'll get when a reporter gets the bum's rush? And I will award the CTN Medal of Velour to Gianforte post-bloghumously. . It's not as big of deal as the Medal of Valor, but it is more plush and velvety soft.
ReplyDeleteKid, I think he cracked his genders.
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