Quarantine Sol two thousand and something. Executive order still bars entry to Garden Center and can't buy seeds. I am fertilizing my habitat with my own feces. Still no toilet paper. Have sliced up & planted a potato I found in my pantry that was lost and growing.
COVID 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Nosey Neighbor #1: Yes I want to report my neighbor across the street. I think he's... *whispers* growing a garden!
Dispatch: Is it weed, ma'am?
Nosey Neighbor #1: No, I think it's... *whispers* vegetables.
Dispatch: We'll send a unit now!
COVID 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Nosey Neighbor #2: Yes, I live in a duplex over here on Fuehrer Drive, and I hear noises coming from my neighbor's attic. It sounds like furniture being moved occasionally. I suspect they're having a party!
Dispatch: So much for social distancing. Who are the neighbors?
Nosey Neighbor #2: Mr and Mrs. Frank, and their little girl, Anne.
Dispatch: We'll send a unit now!
COVID 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Nosey Neighbor #3: I am a nurse and one of the thousands of US medical workers who were furloughed due to the precipitous decline of routine patient visits during the coronavirus pandemic. I did NOT get into the healthcare field so that I would be exposed to sick people! I got into nursing so that I would have time during the work day to choreograph dance videos and post on my tiktok account.
Dispatch: What seems to be the problem.
Nosey Neighbor #3: He's in a fishing boat by himself, but I think it has one of them... *whispers* motor thingys!
Dispatch: We'll send a unit now!
You did the Reich thing.
ReplyDeletePeople complain about Hitler comparisons.
We call them socialists.
I'm waiting for a new Hitler video that details New York governor Cuomo's plan to save the world.
DeleteThat would be hilarious if they superimposed his ugly mug on him for that piece :)
DeleteHAHHAHAaa. Too close to the truth.
ReplyDeleteC'mon Man when do we get female lingerie Hockey like they have in football !?
Yes! That is coming soon, my friend. Probably will come out of Sweden. The problem though is that most teams will need an 'enforcer' (think Moochelle or Rosie)
ReplyDeleteBTW, Ed don't be so 'nosey'.
ReplyDelete