John Oliver on DRUMPF…I mean TRUMP, sorry… - If this wasn’t so darned true, I’d find this maybe one of THE funniest videos I’ve seen in a very long time. It will convince you to run as fast as you ca...
6 hours ago
|"I like to lay on the floor with them and blow in their face. I like to make them run and chase each other. But they're so cute, I just love to just cuddle them and massage them."|
At first blush, I thought this was a quote from Bill Clinton regarding the Lewinski 'puppies'.
|But Gingrich is an ideas guy who already has Trump’s ear. Picking Newt would also take Georgia completely off the table for the Democrats as Newt is still beloved in the northern Atlanta suburbs. Newt would get a number of conservatives on board as well.|
|A bill headed to Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin’s desk this week would strip abortionists of their medical licenses and basically ban abortions in the state. The bill describes an abortion as “unprofessional conduct” and prohibits Oklahoma medical licensure officials from renewing or granting licenses to doctors who do abortions, except to save the mother’s life...|
- MEMO -
TO: All FB Employees
FROM: Mark Zuckerberg
SUBJECT: Conservatives Alert!
In anticipation of the conservative contingent gathering on foreign Facebook soil, I have instructed the chef's in the lunchroom to prepare celebration feast of Tofurkey. I also wanted to give some strategy tips for their visit here, as I know this will be a first contact any of you have had with a conservative.
It’s best to alert conservatives of your presence by talking loudly, singing songs or breaking sticks. Try to meet in groups, in established conference rooms and during work hours. Do not ever be caught in an enclosed cubicle after hours when conservatives are known to be in the area.
I also want to dispel any myths you may have heard about conservatives. Some of this is just speculation on my part, but I do not believe its true that they have poor eyesight, or that you should play dead if they attack you with any of those sharp fact thingys they wield with such ease. Please feel free to retreat to the designated 'triggered' areas and 'safe spaces' if this occurs.
Lastly, in deference to our guests, please use the correct bathrooms for today only. And if you happen to be menstruating, for Gaia's sake, STAY HOME today.
|A JOINT STATEMENT FROM DONALD J TRUMP AND HIS PSEUDO SELF-MASQUERADING PUBLICIST, JOHN MILLER |
The United States cannot afford another twenty-five years with Donald Trump and John Miller masquerading as two separate entities. Donald J Trump is a very successful businessman and due in no small part to John Miller's efforts, which is why he has been paid a tremendous, tremendous amount of money over the years. That is why we have taken a very positive step toward unification, as I officially announce my running mate as John Miller. Trump/Miller 2016!
|CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A portion of Interstate 77 will be shut down for hours early Friday morning after a tractor-trailer crashed, spilling thousands of potatoes across the highway.|
Chattering Teeth News - The Republican Party (GOP), 162, died May 3, 2016 in the State of Indiana following a battle with itty bitty tiny baby hands syndrome.
Born on March 20, 1854 in a schoolhouse in Ripon, Wisconsin, the GOP was the anti-slavery party dedicated to preserving the union. Ironically, the ravages of small hands disease transformed it into the party of white supremacists and neo-Nazis dedicated to the union's destruction.
During life, the GOP loved the Constitution, limited government, freedom, liberty, free markets, and quiet walks on the beach collecting shells.
Left to cherish it's memory are the close family of #NeverTrump patriots and roughly 42% of Republican voters who have an unfavorable view of Trump and will never vote for the orange-faced, narcissistic, NY liberal, reality TV star.