Thursday, December 27, 2012

A Holiday Carol: Obamaneezer Screwed Us, Every One!

Obamaneezer Scrooge was better than his word to his secular radical leftist base.  He did it all, and infinitely more; as for Tiny Tim, Obamacare finished him off, BUT Little Tiny Tim's crutch was redistributed, just as he would have wanted! Obamaneezer became as high a tax and spender, as skilled a class warfare master and economy destroyer the once good old city knew, or any other old city, town, or borough, in socialist Europe and communist Russia or China.  Some people laughed to see his golf swing, but he let them laugh... The joke was on the fools who voted for him after all!

... and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep a golf tee time well, if any hack alive possessed the knowledge.  May that be truly said of us, and all of us!  And so, as Tiny Tim observed, Obamaneezer Screwed Us, Every One!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Solidarity Twins

And now for the first installment of The Solidarity Twins, the funniest fetuses the other side of the placenta! Brother and sister, "Festus" and "Freeto" dream of being born, growing up and joining a union. Today they discuss The Right to Work law.

Did you know that Roe V Wade, the blasphemy that legalized abortion will turn 40 years old during Obama's second inauguration week? Did you know that this legal infanticide has resulted in 56 million murdered babies?

You want to talk about union busting? What about the union between mother and child? Our union with God our creator. Not a believer? How about your union with humanity? Do you have even an ounce of that? Is there any more disgusting, immoral and evil law than the right to kill our own?

Sad what gets the oldtimer's silver ponytails in knots. These denim jacket-wearing, pocket chains and UAW patched hippies throw punches at folks who believe in workers having a right to reject their twisted ideologies, but they don't raise a finger or even a whisper in defense of the 56 million of our murdered brothers and sisters since abortion was legalized in this country.

Really sad what gets some of our young 20 and 30-somethings energized and fired up enough to protest and carry signs. These peachfuzz-faced protégé of the silver ponytails, these products of the state-controlled institutions of socialist indoctrination. They'll get out of their sleeping bags and leave their occupy tents to protest against worker's freedom, but have they ever carried signs in defense of LIFE and religious freedoms? Have they stood in solidarity with REAL Americans against Obama's unjust, unconstitutional and immoral HHS mandate? 

Priorities - You're soaking in them, and the blood of a million-and-a-half aborted innocent children murdered EVERY year in America if you VOTED for Obama. Just like Hitler indeed. Think about THAT on your next long dope smoking lunch break.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A veritable mishmash, hodgepodge, pungent potpourri and flowery bouquet of blog words arranged in an odd, yet compelling pattern

This may be the most life-altering blog post you read today.

You may say, "DaBlade. How can reading this blog post alter my life?" Will you finally share your secrets for suaveness?"


But first, let me warn you that I have followed Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi's lead by granting myself extensive and absolute dictatorial powers on this blog. This edict will allow me to neuter any uncomplimentary blog comments and to have all offensive comments "roughed, cuffed, then executed". Hmmm. Maybe this isn't establishing any new ground.

I have also followed Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez' lead and named a Chattering Teeth blog successor. Either the former union activist or the Ikea coat-wearing monkey.
I have pre-written the blogs through 2042, so all they have to do is post them.

Now on to the news...

December 21, 2012 marks the end of the Mayan 5125-year "Long Count" calendar, and some believe this is a prediction of the apocalypse by the Mayans. The end of the world in 10 days! I say, "not so fast".

Listen, I know what it feels like to have so much invested in a calendar. I mean, when my 1976 Farrah Fawcett and Charlie's Angels calendar ended mysteriously on the 31st of December of that year, I thought the world had ended! But the sun rose on January 1st, 1977, and here we are.

By the way, Amazon has a 16-month 2013 Farrah Fawcett wall calendar for sale.
I have no idea what a 16-month calendar is but I find it good news that not only will the world end in 10 days this year, but next year will have 4 extra bonus months! I just hope these bonus months are placed between July and August.


They loved this post in Genesee County Michigan, home of the UAW, and not coincidentally the most violent and impoverished hellhole in the country.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I think I'm going to "P-p-p-p-p portmanteau"

As far as I know, I have invented two new portmanteaus.

A portmanteau is a word formed by combining two (or more) words to form a new one that retains the phonetic sounds and meanings of the original words used to create it. Everyone has their favorite - like "guesstimate" - or "brunch" - or "spork". 

OK, scratch that last one. Some things should NEVER be combined to form one, as their whole is much worse than their parts. Like spoons and forks. Or better yet, like the boy band One Direction.
Answer: "all of the above"

But I digress (indigresstion?)

OK, try this one. When sportscaster Bob Costa interrupts a football game to bash American gun owners, he was demonstrating "celebrilliteracy".

Definition of celebrilliterate
ce·le·bril·lit·er·ate: When celebrities and media personalities attempt to plumb the depths of their social consciousness, Ignorant of the fundamentals of a given art or branch of knowledge.

It's a good lesson - just stick to your area of expertise. Listening to sportscaster Bob Costas talking about gun control is like watching fish flopping out of water.  Or like Al Gore discussing the weather.  Or when Sean Penn lets syllables escape from his left-wing socialist pie hole. Or any time that community organizer obama talks about the U.S. economy. None of it is pretty.

Here's another portmanteau - see if you can spot it.
I know I shouldn't be a procrastiprepper and probably start canning some tomatoes, storing some potable water and enrolling in target shooting classes at the local gun range, but I'll just get right on that tomorrow. 

Definition of Procrastiprepper (or "Prepcrastinator" if you prefer)
pro·cras·ti·prep·per: Someone who puts off preparing survival plans in advance of an anticipated catastrophic societal meltdown resulting from either nuclear, chemical or biological armageddon, or a logical result of obama's economic policies.  

I admit it. I'm a procrastiprepper, he's a procrastiprepper, she's a procrastiprepper, we're a procrastiprepper, wouldn't you like to be a procrastiprepper too?

However, my plan right now (in the eventual obamazombie apocalypse) is to follow the advice of Detoit's own legendary Bob Seger, from his 1975 hit "Katmandu".

That's why I'm going to Katmandu,
Up to the mountains where I'm going to,
And if I ever get out of here that's what I'm gonna do.
K - k - k - k - k - Katmandu,
That's really, really where I'm going to,
Oh, if I ever get out of here I'm going to Katmandu.