Breaking News - Chelsea Manning declared most beautiful women on planet after emerging from Leavenworth as fake female. Bruce Jenner is not happy. Horseface Jennifer Ani...
3 hours ago
Guy Fieri sends four talented chefs running through the aisles in a high-stakes, high-skills, grocery store cooking competition. The chefs are hit by real-world challenges like finding workarounds when all the essential ingredients are suddenly "out-of-stock" or having to create a masterpiece when you can only cook with "5 items or less" or on a $10 budget. In the end, the food does the talking, as the last chef standing has the chance to make some serious dough!
Dear Modern Woman,
You are special in Mother Earth's eyes! By showing that embryo (that was growing like a tumor inside you) the business end of a cold, sharp, sterile, stainless steel surgical scalpel - you have successfully eliminated a potential future enemy of Mother Earth!
By "choosing" to put your ankles in the stirrups and allowing your unwanted mass of cells to be eviscerated, you can sleep well tonight (after a night of booze, drugs and fornicating without repercussion or responsibility. Ain't it just grand being a progressive?) knowing the world will move on with one less polluter contributing to Global Warming.
So please accept this plant as a parting gift for a job well done! We've taken the liberty to fertilize the soil for "this little guy" with the "bits and pieces" from your procedure today. Nevermind that bloody toe :) Just don't forget to water!
P4P (Plants for Patients)
Your problem was yourself. Who were you? Were you this extreme and unrepentent Democrat who supported abortion as a made-up right for a mother to execute her unborn child - the very essence of the innocent among you? Were you an unrepentant Democrat who embraced without apology the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers? Is that who you were? Because if that’s who you were and you're an unrepentant Democrat, you have no place in Heaven, because that’s not who God's chosen are.
Me (circa 2013): *sip* "A little citrus. Maybe some strawberry. Mmm. Passion fruit, mmm, and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like, uh, asparagus, and, there's a, just a flutter of, like a, like a nutty Edam cheese."
Aloof Bartender: Sir, that was the jug of water used to cleanse your palette between wines.
Me: Still. Just sayin'.
“We’re not just going to be waiting for legislation in order to make sure that we’re providing Americans the kind of help they need. I’ve got a pen and I’ve got a phone...” and that's all I need... I need this!
“One of the things that I’m going to be talking to my Cabinet about is how do we use all the tools available..."
“Overall, the message to my Cabinet, and that will be amplified in our State of the Union, is that we need..."
Flint man shot while shoveling snow at home
FLINT, MI -- A man said he was shoveling snow when he was shot in the left thigh and left little finger, according to a police report.
He was shoveling around 4:30 p.m. Sunday at a home on North Stevenson Street near Woodbridge Street when he suffered the gunshot wounds. He said he did not know who shot him.
He was taken to the hospital where he was listed in good condition. There was no other information included in the report.
Flint received about 17 inches of snow over the weekend.
Snow emergency in Michigan
Tue Dec 12 2000 7:45pm EST
...The emergency declaration was enough for the editor of the Flint Journal to cancel Tuesday's edition. (the Publisher) says he halted publication because non-emergency vehicles were barred from the roads, according to the declaration.
“I think we have a responsibility to heed the state of emergency,” said (Mr. S.). “The first priority is to get the streets clear.”
Of the paper’s 120 employees, only about 15 to 20 people made it to the office. That included the photographer, who reportedly skied and hitchhiked his way to work.
Besides the several inches of snow that fell Monday and Tuesday, drifts prevented many newspaper employees from reaching the office...
This letter from Hollywood star Steve Martin was sent to 17-year-old fan Jerry Carlson in 1979 and in just a few lines shows why he's such a popular comedy actor.
SAN FRANCISCO - The California Supreme Court granted a law license Thursday to a man who has lived in the U.S. illegally for two decades, a ruling that advocates hope will open the door to millions of immigrants seeking to enter other professions such as medicine, accounting and teaching.
After more than 100 years of family-oriented entertainment on New Year's Day, the Tournament of Roses Parade has veered off course. Organizers are allowing progressives to parade their political agendas around and morph a historic parade into an event more closely resembling a gay pride parade than the Rose Parade we have come to know.