Like I was saying, you can usually tell what an article is about by the hyperlinked headline. Take for example, this headline: Scientists make HIV strain that can infect monkeys. I don't have to read that article because I can guess what it's about. Namely, that if your friend's pet monkey tries to rip your face off, scientists have invented a way for you to defend yourself by infecting the maniacal monkey with HIV. Wouldn't it be quicker to just shoot it?
OK, that didn't sound right and my curiousity was now sufficiently peaked that I in fact clicked that headline and did a careful 5 second scan of the first paragraph before moving on to something more interesting. Apparently, my first interpretation was off a tad. This article has something to do with eventually finding a vaccination solution to human HIV infections, and scientists want to infect monkeys so they are properly motivated to help us with the lab work in this worthy quest.
Sidebar: Who remembers Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp? I LOVED that show.
My point is, my powers of headline interpretation were immediately tested with this diddy (courtesy of Cartman): Scientist Solves Mystery of Belly-Button Lint
First off, I had no idea there was a mystery here. Belly button lint is comprised of the elusive Higgs boson God particles, right? I quickly gave up and read the story. Now I will never get those 3 minutes of my life back. I'm still better off than old Georgie the Austrian chemist with the three year belly button fetish. I can't believe that I am actually about to block quote this story...
Steinhauser collected a whopping 503 pieces of navel lint during his research, presumably in his spare time and on his own dime.Wow. He must really have needed to make a toupee' pretty badly. Now if he could only convince the science chimps working on the HIV vaccine to abandon this for the more important pursuit of helping him solve the mystery of belly lint, then there just might be hope for mankind and chimpkind alike.
I wonder if Steinhauser kept a booger wall as a child?