Monday, January 4, 2010

I ACCEPT IRAN'S WAR GAME CHALLENGE!

As per usual, I am in a hurry this morning and only have time to scan the headlines. Here is today's diddy:

Iran Plans Large-Scale War Games

So Ahkmadeenadude is itching for a war game huh? I hereby volunteer to represent my country and accept his challenge. Bring it on fuzz face!

Full Disclosure: War Games are my specialty. I was born for this moment.



That's me playing Risk circa 1969 and those yellow armies are mine (Yes ladies, I am well aware that I am impossibly adorable. And yes gentlemen, I also know that even at this tender age, I am impossibly forminable). Dice in hand and a smug look on my face, I appear to be on the attack. As you can see, I have firm control over Europe. While the board doesn't display North America, my non-defensive position on Greenland suggests I have firm control there also. Let's just say, I can definitely see Russia from my house.

Further study of the board will show that I have made serious inroads into Asia, with the current action in the Middle East. I am in the process of successfully invoking my proven strategy I like to call "DaBlade's Vice and Slice". This game was played approximately two years after the Arab-Israeli Six Day War, but you may rest assured my victory didn't take nearly as long.

So step up to the gameboard Ahkmadeenadude, in a winner-takes-all high stakes game of Risk. If I win, you must immediately cede control of your government to the protesters and dissidents in your streets... and you must shave, put on a dress and try out for this year's version of American Idol. In the likely event that you win... you can have Obama.

7 comments:

The Born Again American said...

No offense, but I kind of hope you lose...

Z said...

you are absolutely ADORABLE :-) I hope your boys got your good-looks gene!

I'd like to see you play ANY game with Iran's squirt...bring it on. Can I BET??

Chuck said...

Actually this is how the Obama administration does it's war planning. Difference is though they pull their men out of territories and surrender them. This way the other players don't feel as if he is trying to dominate them.

CAPTAIN THURSTON said...

Ha Ha. That post made me chuckle.

It took me 10 years to figure out that setting up in South America is suicide.

(L) said...

I'm with you Bro! If losing a stinking board game is all it will take to get rid of BO it is your civic duty as an American to throw one for the COUNTRY!

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

Go get 'em and outwit 'em!

DaBlade said...

BA- I can single-handedly defeat Ahkmadeenadude, but I'm gonna need a whole lot of help to get us rid of obama in 2012. Who's in?

Z- *blushing* I loved playing that game as a kid. I'll have to bust it out this week before the #1 son goes back to South Bend... If I can get a lasso around all 3 of them for a couple of hours :)

Chuck- Good one! Those little square wooden armies don't bow though.

Cap'n- Thanks. Yep South America was tough... you needed Africa with it, but then there were too many holes in the defense. Chavez should have thought of this.

L- :) see above. The Iranian AND American patriots will take their respective countries back.

PCC- That's the plan!