Monday, December 12, 2011

Obama's Christmas Booze (a Chattering Teeth song parody)

I am aware I may be committing a blogdemeanor by taking a shortcut and posting the following song parody. It's just that my wife really likes this song (and I don't) so when it comes on the car radio, I keep myself amused by singing my alternate lyrics in my head.

Sung to the tune of The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a wild-eyed man pacing anxiously
Mumblin' sounds like hobos do
And in his hands he held a bottle of booze.

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
When it came time to pay for his liquor
I couldn't believe what I heard him slur

[Chorus:]
Sir, I want to buy this booze, because of Obama, geeez!
It's Christmas Eve and this booze is just my size
Could you hurry, sir, cuz there's not much time
You see I've been unemployed for quite a while
And I know this booze will make me smile
And I want to get wasted in case Obama is on TV tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "DaBlade, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and his bloodshot eyes looked at me
He said Obama made Christmas suck at our house until the sheriff forced us out
"A job... a house... a retirement lose
Somehow I've got to buy me this Christmas booze"

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his stubbled face when he said
On Obama's TV face I will urinate

[Chorus:]
Sir, I want to buy this booze, because of Obama, geeez!
It's Christmas Eve and this booze is just my size
Could you hurry, sir, cuz there's not much time
You see I've been unemployed for quite a while
And I know this booze will make me smile
And I want to get wasted in case Obama is on TV tonight

[Bridge:]
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of democrat's "love"
As he thanked me and stumbled out
I knew that God had sent this unemployed
To remind me just what the coming election is all about


Fact check. I used a little artistic license here. While it's true that Mrs. DaBlade and I lost our house to foreclosure last year after we both were laid off, we vacated said domain many days before the sheriff knocked. We are doing fine now though, living in a house we traded in our 401k for. Ah well. What's a retirement anyway? Mrs. DaBlade is now gamefully employed, and I'm getting some work here and there while I look for something more permanent. Oh, and DaBlade certainly isn't drinking his troubles away as described by my caricature in the parody. While not a tea-totaler, I can't even remember the last time I had an adult beverage (not counting the Blood of Christ at Sunday mass). Finally, as for the TV, I'm blaming the dog.

2 comments:

WomanHonorThyself said...

what great people u are..thank God u are pickin up the pieces..God bless!

Z said...

Foreclosure hurts.....I know that.
And I am so glad you're in a home and Mrs DB is working and I'll be praying that some employer wakes the heck up and realizes what an amazing treasure you are....

God bless you both.xxx