SHOCKING! Justice Kennedy Retiring in Middle of the Road?

Will Justice Anthony Kennedy announce his retirement today (or this week)?

Margaret Thatcher is quoted as saying, “Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.”  She, of course, was alluding to the wishy-washy, half-baked ideological centrists and not about homeless former moderate senile justices who wander in traffic.

 Kennedy has always been known as the "swing vote" on contentious high-profile cases when the court has been split between those who have a fit of inspiration to follow the Constitution and the cRa CrA's on the left. In rare cases, Kennedy would side with the conservative wing, but more often than not was a cheerleader for the social justice warrior leftist 'progressives'.

 “The cases swing, I don’t,” he once said. I don't know what that means (except that Kennedy is a closet crack smoker), but all us conservatives can agree that Kennedy is the late, Great President Reagan's biggest "swing and a miss."

 In fairness to the Great Ronald Reagan, back in those days it was deemed necessary to nominate a judge with a very limited and uncontroversial record for any hopes of securing the three-fifths vote required for confirmation. Apparently, Kennedy was an unknown even to Reagan.

 President Trump is no longer constrained by that nonsense, as the so-called 'nuclear option' is already a precedent with the Neil Gorsuch confirmation. Gorsuch was a gimmee for Trump, as he replaced the dependable conservative Scalia. If Trump gets to replace the limp-wristed Kennedy - and he does so with a REAL CONSTITUTIONAL conservative? - now THAT would TRULY BE WINNING. 

And that's the memo.

 Now this (faux news):

 Justice Kennedy is not only known as the "swing vote", he is also known in his circle as the "Wild and crazy SCHWING vote". The late Antonin Scalia is known to have had a platonic friendship with the ideological opposite and mental inferior Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but does Kennedy have an inappropriate physical relationship with the Notorious RBG?

 His inside knowledge of her nightly habits suggests that he does. 

 "She's a real babe," Kennedy tells CT News. "I found it real sexy how she would slump over in her chair and snore during presidential speeches or when we were in session and hearing a very important case. I later learned that the reason she slept during work all day was because she stayed awake all night," he *winked*.

At first, I thought Ruthy was a narcoleptic who suffered from insomnia. Turns out she's just nocturnal due to the bat blood infusions she takes every night. Why do you think she has lasted so long? 

THE END