Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Jim Acosta's Thanksgiving Family Invitation Restored!

- With New Kiddie Table 'Rules' of Decorum

But first, a dad joke.

Dad joke: What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

Answer: One weighs a ton and the other is a little lighter.

I read that about a week prior to my inadvertent massacred delivery to my 2-week-old granddaughter, Lydia.

Grandpa Version: What's the difference between a Rhinoceros and a butane lighter?

I assume the punchline would have remained relatively the same but I can't be sure since it was never delivered - for after saying my version of the setup out loud, I instinctively knew something had gone horribly wrong. I looked into the beautiful face of my granddaughter, who seemed blatantly unaware of my unfortunate  faux pas. Either that, or she was simply being polite by not calling me out. Her father (my 27-year-old son) who happened to be standing nearby and within earshot was not as gracious. Apparently he knew the joke and therefore my hatchet job done to it, and couldn't wait to interrupt his wife's unrelated conversation in order to whisper this to her. All I can say is that the smiles on their faces as they looked at me was way more humor-filled than the responses illicited by the right telling of that joke, whatever that is... Winning!

And now it's time for my latest poorly executed and copyright infringing photoshop for your enjoyment (or disdain)...


In old news, the organ grinding CNN's very own cymbal banging monkeyboy, Jim Acosta, has had his press pass restored, but with some strings attached.

Here are the latest WH press conference Acosta Rules:

The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the jackass leftist so-called reporters not following precedent and well established procedure. Just follow the ordering procedure and you will be fine. As you walk in the place move immediately to your right.
The main thing is to keep the line moving. you hold the microphone loosely, speak your question in a loud, clear voice, step to the left and receive your answer. It's very important not to embellish. No extraneous comments. No questions. No followups. And if you don't get your bread?

In conclusion, we have our second granddaughter! So much to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving to all of my blog friends out there!

13 comments:

  1. Acosta just about ruined it for those that actually want to be a journalist. I'd think they'd want to beat him with a stick, and chase him from the room.

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  2. Jess, you'd think they'd give him a blanket party.
    Jerry, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

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  3. DaBlade. Winning - Yes. I've got some folks laughing with some major screw-ups on my part and enjoyed it very muchly. (but not "bigly" because that would be more like baby talk)

    I don't imagine for a second Acosta is going to last long. I sure would like to see him escorted out though. By a tiny frail female. lol.

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  4. Jess, agreed, but every loving parent should try to convince little johnny or betty to stay away from that profession. especially these days. Not any (or many) real journalists in that room to begin with, and they are likely jealous of Acosta and the attention he gets.

    Ed,Thanks you too!

    Kid, I've never been much of a canned joke teller. I rarely remember them, and when I do - I usually wreck them like this one. I always admired those joksters that could just rattle off non stop joke after joke. I've always been more into the physical humor and spur of the moment buffonery.

    as for Acosta readmitted, if I am being honest - I am looking forward to the next press conference like everyone else. it's ratings gold. I would love to see him get pummeled by our president again and escorted out in a headlock by a 90lb female intern. :)

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  5. I always forget the punchline. Basically I came by to wish you and your family a happy Thanksgiving.

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  6. "a little lighter!":)
    Hilarious!
    Did you see the one wishing "Hope you're counting your blessings this Thanksgiving...and if you're Florida, do a recount" :-)

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING, CHATTERER AND FAMILY! XXX

    By the way, I think Acosta will not disappear...I think our lefty journalists are SO skewed that they'll honor him and make a statue of him if possible.

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  7. cube, it's al in the ti... the ti... the tiMING! Hope you had a great feast!

    Z, RECOUNT the Blessings :) Loved it.

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  8. Congrats on your new granddaughter. You are certainly blessed. Next, at two weeks old, she won't remember Grandpa's jocular faux pas... well, unless she turns out to be a genius and she'll remember that and even her pre-birth memories. Sorry.

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  9. After suffering through 8 years of the most obnoxious, undignified, ungrateful, unappreciated, classless, angry, First Lady who spoke with a fake ghetto accent, who seemed to hate her position as First Lady, who said that she “hated living in the White House”, who dressed like she just came off the boat, and who is now famous for saying "For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country”, who embarrassed 3/4 of the country by appearing on almost every Late Night TV show doing Jumping Jacks! ... and is now finally gone from my sight.
    And we have a Gorgeous, Intelligent, ,Brilliant, Fashion Icon, and an , Amazingly, Beautiful, First Lady, who appeared on the Sean Hannity show last night, for a rare interview and the Mainstream Media had to gossip about was not what she said about “Toys for Tots, not what she said about he Cohen sentencing, not what she said about her husband the President, and not how she reacted to the questions about the Meda.
    Not even about the fact that made the trip to the USS George H.W. Bush so she could pay a visit to Military Families, as well as Servicemen and Women for the Holidays “ to show them that the President and I and the country, are behind them."

    In fact that the BIG NEWS STORY, the story that the Main stream Media seemed to focus on most was that Melania's highlighted hair was much lighter..

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    1. We know this country is in trouble when every stoopid magazine - libtoid all and to the core! - has Her Ugliness Moochie Obama on the cover and/or featured in a puff piece that is miles from the truth. It's really pathetic when even the pop/general "culture" magazines feature this total NOBODY - and, as you sadly pointed out, all the libtoid commies "swoon" and wish she were still Queen of DC!! Oh, she's "queen," alright, but not in any social circle I'd be caught dead in!!

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  10. couldn't have said it better, anon.

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