Female Fencer (and othe F-words)

 I read this headline: 

Female fencer disqualified after taking a knee against transgender rival

I was surprised to learn this had nothing to do with a female contractor's attempted repair of a privacy fence that suffered recent storm damage only to be harrassed by her gender-confused neighbor. 

Apparently fencing is a term for combat sword fighting, and this young lady refused to fight a man who delusionally self-identifies as a woman. 

The most pitiable character in this story is the man who wants to fight woman because he thinks he is one. He is either mentally or spiritually sick, or likely both. Instead of helping him by getting him counseling or an exorcist, or likely both - his delusions are encouraged.  

No, the most contemptible character in this story is the judge who actually disqualified the young woman for refusing to fight this man.  If you watch the video, he resembles a pudgy Chris Hayes, as he sashays over to the kneeling lady and smuggly displays a black card, probably taken from his Dungeons & Demons game from home, where he likes to dress up in his furry costume and invite all of his gender-fluid pansexuals over for a party after a full day of keying Teslas.

I'll bet that he was one of those disgusting people who ran around during covid to chastise folks when their face mask was slipping. Never forget that we are still surrounded by these horrible people who were "only following the rules". They were only too happy to report to the authorities when they saw somebody outside on a beach with nobody around for a mile. Or if family was visiting next door. They cheered when one of us lost our job because we refused to allow a toxic and unholy concoction shot into our veins. 

I believe I have a solutuon. Send the transgender fella to a monastery for de-worming, and force the smug judge to fight the female, but with one caveat. The young lady gets to  to fight with a loaded uzi that identifies as a sword. 

READY... GO!

Mi casa, su Cicadas

 I recently read that Cicadas are ready to make their obnoxious presence known again and I can't wait. According to this bug map Brood XIV is due to emerge from it's 17-year sleep cycle. I imagine the first one waking up and saying in his best Robin Williams / Genie impression, "10,000 years will give you such a crick in the neck!" It's a scientific fact that Cicadas are known for exagerating. 

Cicadas? What are those?

They are very large and obnoxious bugs that I would estimate as the size of a large racoon and weighing approximately 20 pounds. At least the ones that congregate high in the tree outside my bedroom window every summer night. While the map doesn't show these critters in mid-Michigan, a few of the larger ones must take it upon themselves to hitchhike north. They climb high in the trees and scream a high-pitched and non-stop fingernails-on-chalkboard tornado-siren-like mating call (think Hunter Biden after a few hits on the crack pipe). They also remind me of some of the contestants on one of those singing shows the wife likes to watch so much. BUZZZZZZZZZ! "YOU'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!"

Thinking of singing bugs, it reminded me of that Don't Bug Me game from my youth.  "Man, don't you bug me. I got my own bugs to. If you think your gonna give your bugs to me, I'm gonna give them right back to you!" (think Hunter Biden in a bubble bath full of prostitutes) 

According to my google machine, male cicadas produce their rhythmic, high-pitched whine using specialized structures called tymbals on their abdomens. I believe this was also the technique used by Neil Peart, the late, great former drummer for the rock band Rush.

So in conclusion...

You now know what I know about the cicada (and the contents of Hunter Biden's laptop). Think about it, though. The last time Brood XIV emerged from the soil in it's 17 year cycle was in the "hope and changey" summer of 2008 and Obama's first year of his first term. Had I the ability, I too would have crawled into a hole for 17 years after getting a glimpse of Barrack and Mooshell, only to emerge with Trump and MAGA at the helm. 

A 17-year cycle. This reminds me that Haikus have 17 syllables (5-7-5). So in tribute to Brood XIV, I have penned them the following haiku.

Let them eat the bugs

Mi casa, su Cicadas

Please sleep off the buzz

Now buzz off!

Day 73 of Trump's second of three terms in office

 and democrats are still confused by the question, "What is a woman?".

That's right, I am coming out of semi-self-imposed retirement of driveling to once again give you the news as I see it (complete with an overuse of hypens, parenthesis and misplaced comas). Don't worry though. I won't prattle on and on with pure, unadulterated  nonsense for 25 hours straight hours like Cory Booker did this week on the senate floor. My blather will be much more concise (and not require a senate floor "mop and shine" if you get my drift).

Before we get started, I need to cover a few items to boost my social credit score.

My name is Jerry. My pronouns are MAGA and mashed potatoes (because what right-minded person doesn't love either?)

I would also like to begin my post today by acknowledging that the internet on which I blog is the occupied traditional information highway territory of the Al-Gore-quin peoples. Despite their claims, The Al-Gore-quin did not invent the internets, but merely massacred the facts and claimed it for their own. Side note - Chief Clinton of the Al-Gore-quins was known to get Pawnee with any Chickshesaw (including the Navajo and HillaryHos). Of course they were followed by the Obamanation tribe and the Joe Biden Dog-faced Pony Soldiers, all horrible stewards of this coutry from The Gulf of America and all the way to our cherished 51st State of Canadamerica. As for the Indians, who are sometimes incorrectly referred to as "Indigenous peoples", no aknowledgment is necessary. Not only did they not inhabited the internet, but they couldn't even invent the wheel in the thousands of years head start here. 

And now for the news...

Yesterday was "Liberation Day" as named by President Trump, where he initiated reciprocol tariffs acoss the board against countries who treat us unfairly. There will be short term economic pain as we transition back to a country that actually makes things. As proof, I ended up paying $350 after tariffs for a Men's Cotton Linen shirt made in Bangladesh because I like the questionable quality and uneven child stitching I find so endearing in my no tuck casuals. 

Still no update on the eventually aquisitions of the frozen wastelands to our north. I'm hoping that Trump also has his eyes on the Island nation of Madagascar off the coast of the horn of Africa as our eventual cherished 52nd State (or 53rd after Greenland?) The climate is tropical and offers another vacation spot after hockey and curling season is over.

As for the border, the March numbers are out and our southwest border saw the lowest number of illegal crossings ever! The infiltration of the future democrat coalition of murderers and rapists, pedophiles and child traffikers, drug cartels and terrorists - has slowed to a trickle. Democrats will just have to make due with their current ranks of murderers and rapists, pedophiles and child traffikers, drug cartels and terrorists.

In February, President Trump signed an executive order to ban so-called trans athletes from girls and women's sports. The State of Maine is refusing to comply, with their Governor citing historical precedent stating, "George Washington powdered his hair to appear as if he was wearing a wig, so...". While I made that last part up, it is true that federal funding has been stopped for Maine. For myself, I always believed Maine to be covered in trees and was not aware anybody actually lived there. Apparently there are people, and the boys there really want to play dressup in the girls locker rooms.

Meanwhile, Elon Musk and DOGE continues to frustrate democrats by exposing waste, fraud and abuse, and saving hundreds of billions of dollars so far. No wonder democrats are in a panic, as their entire platform sits on a three-legged stool consisting of "waste, fraud and abuse". 

Speaking of Elon, what has he ever done to help people? errr... Besides those astronauts he saved on March 18th. I mean lately!

In happier news, Rosie O'Donnell self-deported to Ireland, and Ellen DeGeneres is fleeing to England - thereby lowering the odds to zero of a future Trump expansion there with a 54th and 55th cherished state.

This has been the news as I see it. Please don't key my 2014 Chevy Traverse on your way out. I don't need the tens of dollars of damage that might cause.