Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Pantophobiacs Unite!

Downturn Spurs 'Survival Panic' for Some in the US:
In the coming months, mental health experts expect a rise in theft, depression, drug use, anxiety and even violence as consumers confront a harsh new reality and must live within diminished means.

"People start seeing their economic situation change, and it stimulates a sort of survival panic..."


LUCY: Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia. How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia. Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?

CHARLIE BROWN: What's pantophobia?

LUCY: The fear of everything.

CHARLIE BROWN: THAT'S IT!


I guess I'd better collect my things and prepare for the worst. It's critical that in times like these, you only take the absolute necessities for survival. Separate the wheat from the... err... stuff that's not the wheat. Why take your digital camera in the post-apocalyptic world?

So please excuse me while I pack my backpack. I don't need anything except this furry hat with the floppy ears and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this furry hat. And this walking stick, the furry hat and the walking stick and that's all I need. And this backpack full of Campbells soup. The furry hat, the walking stick, and the backpack full of Campbells soup, and that's all I need. And my S&M Barbie. The furry hat, and my S&M Barbie, and the soup and the walking stick. And my 25 lb. pet rock I found. The hat, the stick and the soup and the rock and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this chair.



What's in YOUR survivalist backpack?

1 comment:

PIC-PIC said...

"I don't care about the money I just want stuff"