Hi, my name is Ray Lewis, linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens. Are you throwing a Superbowl party AGAIN this year and want to enhance your hosting performance? Well don't just hope guests show up by rubbing urine on yourself and placing large piles of beats, carrots, corn, wings and nachos near your backyard blind again this year. Buck up and spice up your menu with my new Sweet Bambi Ray's Barbeque Sauce.
My sauce is a special blend of herbs, spices and ground deer antler velvet (Shhhh!)
Your guests will stamp their feet and make audible vocalizations of approval. They'll grunt, bleat and snort wheeze, wondering why your pile of wings taste so good!
My BBQ sauce is so good, sometimes I just squirt a little under my tongue before taking the field! See you at the game!
DISCLAIMER: Product is not intended for ingestion. Avoid contact with eyes. Just opening bottle may cause nausea and dizziness. Excessive exposure may cause standing by roadside with vacant stare, then running across busy lanes of traffic when confused by approaching strange beams of light. Some have reported suffering poop pellets. Has been known to cause spontaneous sparring matches among males and females to flash their tales in the air. Tell your coach right away if you feel concussive effects and blurred vision, and consult the voices before breast-feeding your guests.
Tell Us How You Really Feel (Note: A Trump-free post) - Telling it like it is. Keeping it real. Speaking truth to power. I'm running out of cliches. But this was so refreshing to hear, I wanted to share the war...
12 hours ago