Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Roe V Wade Turns 40 (Death Toll at 55 Million Souls) But Hey, Enjoy this Cactus!

Group Gives Women Plants to Take Home After Their Abortions: “Bring One Life Home”
Women who have had abortions are offered a handmade ceramic planter with a small plant and an accompanying hand-written note of support to promote both emotional and physical healing and to extend a gesture of respect and love.

Well isn't that special!? A parting gift. And a "hand-written note" so you don't feel like just a modern, murdering, cold-hearted, cruel and callous bitch. I imagine the note to read as follows:

Dear Modern Woman, 

You are special in Mother Earth's eyes! By showing that embryo (that was growing like a tumor inside you) the business end of a cold, sharp, sterile, stainless steel surgical scalpel - you have successfully eliminated a potential future enemy of Mother Earth! 

By "choosing" to put your ankles in the stirrups and allowing your unwanted mass of cells to be eviscerated, you can sleep well tonight (after a night of booze, drugs and fornicating without repercussion or responsibility. Ain't it just grand being a progressive?) knowing the world will move on with one less polluter contributing to Global Warming. 

So please accept this plant as a parting gift for a job well done! We've taken the liberty to fertilize the soil for "this little guy" with the "bits and pieces" from your procedure today. Nevermind that bloody toe :) Just don't forget to water! 

 Sincerely, 
P4P (Plants for Patients)

Yes, by all means - water with the tears of what should have been. 

BLOG EXTRA! (Re-Post Alert) The following is just a teaser, but I highly recommend you click the link and enjoy the entire post. I changed the date of this post to 2013 at this point last year so it would appear first in the newsfeed, but I originally wrote this many years ago. I only mention this to point out the similarity between the potted plant parting gift and the commemorative snow globe - and how, ONCE AGAIN, I illustrate why I am a man before his time!

THE PERFECT GIFT for that pro-choice lib on your list!

Our Customer Service Infanticide Operators are standing by ready to take your call.

Now just $19.95! Here's what you'll get:
* Your very own commemorative snow globe filled with abortion debris from the International Abortion Registry, complete with a brass nameplate in base engraved in honor of your lover's name.

* An official certificate with personal information about your aborted fetus - Gender, race, and family tree information included. Miniature bloody foot and handprints available for the first 50 callers!
      

Get the perfect gift for your domestic partner and celebrate the 35 years of legal carnage under Roe V. Wade!


4 comments:

DaBlade said...

A parting gift? I'd give each a bottle of wine, some bubble bath and a package of sharp razor blades.

Is that too harsh? Am I wrong? OK, I see your point. I'll hold back the wine. Wouldn't want to promote under age drinking.

Jess said...

They need to place a tiny, plastic fetus in the snow globe, and place a plaque with the words of wisdom: "It's not snowing in Hell - enjoy the Heat".

Ed Bonderenka said...

Jess +1.

DaBlade said...

"It's not snowing in Hell - enjoy the Heat".
Nicely done!

Rereading my post(s), I do recognize my "style" rather harsh and contrary to the subtle and gentle approach that is said to be more successful changing hearts. But I can't help it. I've always been quick with the sword and swinging for the fences or chopping ears. Libs that come here better be wearing a cup (or head gear). I usually abort their comments when they do post them.