Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Hollywood Diva Lauren Bacall dies by Asphixiation while running onto Race Track

...resulting in rioting in Ferguson, Missouri.

Made you look!

Actually, Lauren Bacall died at the ripe old age of 89 from natural causes, and as far as I know she never appeared on Keeping up with the Kardashians, so coverage should be somewhat minimal on the death of this talented actress.

In other important world news...

Obama played his third round of golf yesterday in just four days on vacation at Martha’s Vineyard. That's the 30th round of the year and 187th of his presidency. Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has petitioned the UN for a resolution to call for an obama golf cease fire, due to obama's propensity to fire errant shots into innocent civilians.

It is being reported widely (on this blog) that obama got angry at his caddy who suggested he take the putter head cover off before trying to putt calling the suggestion “horseshit.”

Hey, its not ALL playtime for the president. obama’s fundraiser Monday evening was the 400th he has held as president... That’s just about one every five days. THAT is some laser-like focus!

Now if only I could find some kind of information or remote story regarding that recent celebrity hanging so I could also glorify suicide.  Ah well. Maybe I do need one of them hand-held tweeter machines the kids seem to love so much.

7 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

You're right about the glorifying suicide.
I took a big hit on FB, for suggesting something like that.
So many people identifying with his fight with depression, I'd be concerned about a chain reaction.

Z said...

you are a sheer genius of comedy.

Please don't ever EVER get depressed!

Z said...

chain reaction? My Gosh that's a terrible thought; and it could very well be true. God forbid.

DaBlade said...

Ed, I guess we are in the minority on that. I agree about the chain reaction thing. culture worships celebrity.

Z, Why thank you! I have too many blessings to get depressed.

Jess said...

If someone is contemplating suicide, it always helps to have a celebrity to emulate and wait for the accolades.

Yeah; I know that's a dark comment; but society accepts such things, without ever realizing the implications.

dmarks said...

His fundraising is almost entirely taxpayer funded, too.

DaBlade said...

Jess, I missed your comment somehow until just now, but I agree 100%. The story still has legs too. Enough already I say.
dmarks, nice to hear from ya, and you're right... We are all paying his way. Are you still doing the throwaway? I must go find it.