Monday, April 13, 2015

State Dep’t Clarifies Hillary’s Muddled Campaign Announcement stating she has "Fought Children"


Hillary Says She’s ‘Fought Children And Families All Her Career’ in Campaign Announcement




You may remember State Department political apologist Marie Harf's performance just last week in explaining what Obama meant to say in a recent NPR interview when he got 'a Little Mixed Up' in admitting his Iran deal assured them of getting nukes.


Miss Harf is back, having been hired by Hillary to help her with an expected unending litany of gaffes. Lets listen in to her press conference and the downloading of talking points to the state-controlled media on what Hillary's campaign announcement meant to say.

"Outside of a hand full of underage female White House interns during her husband's presidency, Hillary has not fought children and families All her career," stated miss Barf.

That campaign message was "a little mixed up” and “a little muddled,” and Hillary was referring to a hypothetical future state of affairs in which she is somehow not elected president in 2016.

"If I'm cheated out of the presidency again, the gloves are coming off! Unless you vote for me in 2016, I will personally kick your children's a$$es!," slurred Hillary.

The State Department blames Hillary's irrational statements on the lingering effects of her cankle accident. "If you've ever tripped and fallen while dodging imaginary Bosnian gunfire - hitting your head on your club-like cankle which resulted in a subdural hematoma of the transverse sinus venous thrombosis, you know how painful that can be."

6 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

What was the question?

Cool Hand said...

I agree we have an population of Dummies here in America who vote with their brains tied behind their backs

Jess said...

If I remember correctly, Hillary fell, hit her head, and spent an entire week thinking she was Judy Garland. Of course few in the media reported this, since her staffers were all "Wizard of Oz" fans, and clamored up.

Of course, they recorded her singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", and took photos of her in her Gingham dress. They needed the insurance, since she's usually riding a broom, while believing she's the Wicked Witch of the West.

Jess said...

....I meant to write "clammed up", but was distracted by a loud noise from the kitchen.

It was nothing, but I did find a fresh baked cookie....it was good.

DaBlade said...

Ed, the question is, are you ready for Hillary?

Cool Hand, those dummies are our biggest obstacle, are they not? They're our co-workers, neighbors, family and friends and I am getting really tired of them taking dumps in my pool.

Jess, you had me at clamor end up but I will settle for a cookie. This campaign season should be entertaining as the rest of the Oz roles are doled out. I was just happy for the chance to recycle my Hillary witch picture. I can't promise you won't see it yet again.

DaBlade said...

Auto correct must not like the word "clamor".