Mr. Stump sits down with Chattering Teeth News reporter Gullible Gabe (he only looks like CNN's Anderson Cooper from this angle) for a quick chat.CTN: Mr. Stump, please tell our audience just what is the platform you're running on?
MR STUMP: My platform? I would say my platform is a nice piece of polished Ash. That I will tell you.
CTN: Many critics say you are just a democrat plant to assure your friend Hillary attains the executive branch. Mr Stump, are you a plant and don't you want this branch?
MR STUMP: "Plant" and "branch"? I see what you did there. So that is the low-brow road we're taking with this interview? Cheap and stupid puns? Yew are acorny person, Okay? Don't axe me that, Believe me.
CTN: Polls show you hold the lead with the poorly educated, with the "dumb as a stumps" and the "bump on a logs" supporting you, but the Sanders campaign seems to have the "Thick as bricks" niche. However, most see your ground roots eroding.
MR STUMP: That's it! I am making like a tree and leafing, Okay?