Monday, July 31, 2017

Chris Christie's Penumbra

Fans at Miller Park in Milwaukee last night were treated to a celestial event called the Christie Creme Eclipse.

Unlike a lunar eclipse, when the moon passes behind the Earth's shadow, or a solar eclipse, when the moon passes between the Earth and sun - a Christie Creme eclipse occurs when New Jersey governor Chris Christie and his tray of nachos casts a wide shadow on the planet and blocks your view of the ballgame.

Did you see it?

HOW TO VIEW A CHRISTIE CREME ECLIPSE

1) Wear special glasses like the fan pictured above. This will protect your eyes from flying spittle and projectiles of nachos, donuts, coney dogs, or whatever Christie happens to be consuming.

2) When he walks past, yell his name and tell him he sucks.

3) Sit tight. He will be in your face for about 30 seconds before his penumbra moves on to darken other lucky eclipse viewers. 

9 comments:

Z said...

I'm sorry, but this is way too insulting to Krispy Kreme :-)

Kid said...

Hilarious ! And that dude wasn't the least bit threatened. Hell, I'd have been praying for the large one to strike me on camera. $$$$$

DaBlade said...

Z, I get the sentiment, but no donuts were hurt in the making of this blog post.

kid, I might have helped myself to a nacho. THAT would have enraged him.

Always On Watch said...

Too funny!

How do you come up with such wonderful satires?

cube said...

I don't like Christie much, but he's entitled to eat what he wants without loudmouths yelling at him. I'm glad he went after the guy. The guy looked totally cowed to me. His 15 minutes of fame looked like he should've kept his big yap shut.

Always On Watch said...

Cube,
His 15 minutes of fame looked like he should've kept his big yap shut.

No kidding!

DaBlade said...

Thanks AOW. I love it when I succesfully amuse my friends. It's been my motivation since I was a boy.

Cube, i agree, and of I liked his politics, i wpuld have been kinder. I do think folks should be able go out in public without being hassled. That would even apply to a loser like Bernie Sanders. Doesn't stop lil ol me from funning him here tho. He won't see it.

Chris Christie said...

Don't make me come to Flint Boy.

DaBlade said...

Haha! Very nice! Is that you obama?