Thursday, July 13, 2017

Natalia, The Russian Plant

Now when I fondly think of house plants native to Russia, I will no longer think of the arctic moss Calliergon giganteum, but instead will think of Natalia.

Russia Plants

Arctic Moss
The Calliergon giganteum grows in the arctic tundra which is a harsh cold environment in the Northern Hemisphere within the arctic circle.

Labrador Tea
The Labrador tea plant grows to be 4 to 5 feet. It will grow up straight in the southern latitudes of the tundra, but in the colder northern latitudes it will creep over the ground forming a carpet.

Natalia Plant
The Natalia Veselnitskaya is the most talked about Russian house plant and is said to be from a shell office in Moscow. Initially denied an entry visa into the United States in 2016 before Obama's DOJ allowed her in. Now she is a favorite plant among the liberal media and Hollywood elite who are drawn to the fruit of this poisonous tree. The Natalia Veselnitskaya Plant does not do well in direct sunlight and prefers the darkened recesses and shade provided by Obama's Ambassador to Russia. The plant florishes in "promising Hilery dirt" but can lead to a slinging of mud, according to the mainstream plant media. 

The name "Natalia Veselnitskaya" is derived from an old slavic (not really) anagram (really!) meaning "A Inanely Talkative Ass".

Note: I would have said, "An Inanely..." but anagrams don't lie.

lacking significance, meaning, or point : silly inane comments.
Inane | Definition of Inane by Merriam-Webster

CHATTERING TEETH EXCLUSIVE!!!
Just released video of the meeting between Donald Trump Jr and the Natalia Veselnitskaya Plant!

Carnivorous Plants from Seth Boyden on Vimeo.

10 comments:

Jess said...

It's remarkable how Russian plants survive, even with advanced herbicides, and training. I'm guessing too many people mistake them for their close relatives in the money tree family.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Is there a "Boris" Veselnitskaya?

Kid said...

Natalia and I are very close. We conspired last year to not only bring down james comey, but setup the democrats to embarrass themselves back to the stoneage. And there is more to come ! Stay Tuned !

DaBlade said...

Jess, lol. they do seem to flourish in the DC swamp.

Ed, not sure about a Boris plant, but the Natalia uses both bathrooms, so....

Kid, Be right over! I need the laugh.

cube said...

I don't know about this Russian plant thing, I mean wouldn't you want to use a more attractive female for this role? Natalia just doesn't strike me as the Mata Hari type. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sorry, that wasn't some Indian person spamming you. It was my cat.

Kid said...

CUBE, YOUR CAT ALMOST TYPED IN A GOOGLEPLEX. caps lock

cube said...

Kid: Lol What can I say, she's a clever cat, our Shoshin.

DaBlade said...

cube, your cat is most wise. I will begin the translation immediately!

cube said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cube said...

I'll save you some time... it's zero. Shoshin hasn't mastered one yet, but is working her way towards the binary system.