Thursday, September 14, 2017

Next up: Hurricane General Robert E Lee?

A CHATTERING TEETH ALL-POINTS AMBER WEATHER BULLETIN ALERT THINGY

When dealing with the weather, there are some things we know for certain and some things we can only surmise. For example, we know that pink skies at night are a sailor's delight while pink skies in morning, sailor's take warning. Scientists like Algore and Bill Nye also know absolutely what the global temperatures will be many decades out, but forget about an accurate forecast for this coming weekend. And forecasting hurricanes? Fuhgeddaboutit! Until now.

WHAT WE KNOW
The National Hurricane Center  is watching 2 disturbances in far eastern Atlantic with wind speeds of 35 mph. A storm is named when it reaches tropical storm strength with winds of 39 mph, and becomes a hurricane or typhoon when its wind speed reaches 74 mph.
So if the next tropical depression in the chamber gains tropical storm strength, what will it be called (and who is in the path)?

The following is the list of names for 2017 storms that have already occurred in the North Atlantic:

Arlene, Bret, Cindy, Don, Emily, Franklin, Gert, Harvey, Irma, Jose (active), Katia

With Jose still active and threatening the East coast, and Katia already striking Mexico, the next unused name on the list is Lee.

Lee (unused), Maria (unused), Nate (unused), Ophelia (unused), Philippe (unused), Rina (unused), Sean (unused), Tammy (unused), Vince (unused), Whitney (unused)

WHAT YOU AREN'T BEING TOLD (UNTIL NOW)
The illuminazis who run the World Meteorological Organization in charge of storm names are keeping it hush that storm name 'Lee' is short for General Robert E. Lee, and the tropical swirl right on his heels is none other than his trusty steed, Traveller.

SHOCKING STORM PREDICTION
These 2 storms will join up in the middle of the Atlantic (because this Confederate General never went into battle without his famous horse during the Civil War) to form an unprecedented mega Cat 6 Hurricane named General Lee.

Its no surprise that this tropical depression was born on the sun baked west coast of Africa IN THE SAME AREA THE SLAVES WERE TAKEN! and will follow THE SAME SLAVE TRADE ROUTE across the ocean!

This potentially catastrophic and racist storm will come ashore somewhere in Dixie, and the meteorologists on staff here in the CT weather bunker agree that the wind speeds will likely reach strengths enabling these whirlwinds to blow down all the city hall warehouses and storage facilities all across the south where the Robert E. Lee statues are now located. The updrafts from this perfect storm will then lift the Lee statues into the whirlwinds, carrying them back to the parks and courthouses from where they had been removed, and gently placing them back down on their pedestals.

After that, Hurricane General Lee's storm surge is expected to locate all of the fascist 'antifa' communist cupcakes in their cute li'l dressup black bandanas AND the white-supremacist goons playing Nazi and drag them ALL out to sea.

SPAGHETTI MODEL - 
Here is the current favorite spaghetti model favored by our action weather team.
It's the Fisher Price Spaghetti Pretend Play Food Set

Stay tuned for important weather updates.

THE END

3 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

Is Michigan in the path?

DaBlade said...

Yes. This will be the first Himacane (Hurricane label now considered sexist) that strikes all 50 states. This Himacane has the potential of causing dozens of dollars in damage in the greater Detroit area alone!

Kid said...

I want a hurricane mohammed ! I want it NOW ! I won't take Nyet for an answer !!!!