Tuesday, February 12, 2008

President Obama's Cabinet (so far)

President Barak Obama
Doesn't just looking at him make you want to tear up? Who cares that he has accomplished absolutely nothing. Who cares that he is saying nothing of substance. He is a great orator! He gives me "hope". He is an African-American, and it will make me a good person if I vote for him.


P Diddy, Vice President
P Diddy is a surprising, but wise pick for VP on Obama's part. Obama has heard from those who fear for his safety as the first black president (sorry Bill), so he takes no chances by picking a pale skinned running mate. He also knows the dark history of the Clinton's and what has mysteriously happened to their enemies. No tempting fate here. Safe pick. Not even a hillbilly redneck racist KKK member (no, not senator Byrd) would even think about laying a finger on Obama with Rapper P in Da Houze!

Oprah, Chief of Staff
"little o" rewards "Big O" for her early endorsement of him in the primaries. Many credit Oprah for getting "little o" over the hump and ultimately steam-rolling Hillary by securing the mindless, brain-dead, and intellectually vacuous afternoon female TV audience.


George Clooney, Secretary of State
Speaking of "intellectually vacuous"... Obama original slated Chauncey Gardiner for this post because he read on Wikipedia that Chauncey had a "calm and seemingly highly intelligent demeanor" and that he was "essentially a blank canvas" on which people tended to "paint their wants and needs on." AND he had a good tailor. Sounds like a blood brother for Obama to me. When told Chaunce was a fictitious character in a film, played by an actor no longer with us, he decided to go with the closest match.


Michael Moore, Secretary of Defense
This was an obvious pick for "little o" to make. He was catapulted to the White House on a tsunami of support from the anti-war kooks on the left, and "O Widdy" (as his VP likes to call him) picked the one person who he knew would absolutely never, under any circumstances, use American troops to protect our national security. After all, according to his sect. of state, the troops were needed in a place called Darfur to run the "meals on wheels" program there. His advisors had originally put Barbara Streisand at the top of the list, but "little o" explained to them simply that, "she's a jew, ain't she?"


Rosie O'Donnell, Dept. of Agriculture
Yikes!! That's just plain scary.

Feel free to help "little o" fill the remaining posts by making your suggestions.

9 comments:

The Shang said...

Interesting list...and scary too. If Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell were to spill their procreative juices in a petrie dish, what do you think the offspring would look like?

DaBlade said...

An interesting, yet horrifying query Shang. My question in that scenario would be, who would be donating the sperm?

When Kanye West heard that he was passed over for P Diddy, he responded by stating, "Obama hates black people."

cartman60 said...

How about Barbara Streisand for Department Of Labor? Babs is a stellar Democrat/Unionist.

Anonymous said...
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minority said...

Considering your main point here is Barack Obama is an African American, you would only feel inclined to enlist him with the 2 or 3 other famous black Americans you could think of at the time. Well maybe if you knew anything about Barack Obama you would understand that his vision is what the common class person has prayed for all his or her life, and if you didn't know, which you probably didn't, as of 3hours ago EST he is the president of the UNITED states of American, 297 votes to 139 as he passed the magic number of 270 needed to win the presidency at 4am GMT.

p.s
"and it will make me a good person if I vote for him."

yes it will make you a great person if you vote for him... oh sorry, voted.

DaBlade said...

Glad you're happy. President of the United States of America(n)? I want to share in your euphoria too. Unfortunately, it will require a labotomy, for I am cursed with the intellect you lack in what is coming.

Anonymous said...

Very scary list...lol!

Anonymous said...

you wanna bash obama? fine, but do it with some actual intelligence. wow, you compiled a list of mostly black people because, haha get this, obama is black. what a smart motherfucker you are

DaBlade said...

I not only bash Obama with intelligence, but I also do it with spot on humor. Your assertion that I "compiled a list of mostly black people" is the kind of math I would expect from an Obama supporter. Count 'em again dillweed. 2 1/2 black to 3 1/2 whites WITH Obama. And OF COURSE this post deals with race. It's you democrats that seem fixated on skin pigmentation above all else. The point of P. Diddy as VP was exactly BECAUSE he would be the next in succession. And wasn't it HILLARY who said this: "My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? "We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it." I wonder what she could have been eluding to. Get it jackass? Why don't you read the post first and put some thought into a comment, or don't YOU have the intellectual capacity?