If you're like me, every morning in the shower the detachable sprayer becomes your microphone, as you sing and mimic these awesome moves to the greatest song ever recorded! And if you're honest with me, then you like to cruise downtown with the windows down on your rusting 2000 Oldsmobile with the stereo up FULL BLAST just kicking it!
The incredulous looks I get from the sidewalkers is really humbling.
They
must
really
wish they were me.
I'm sorry about that. I don't really hate you, it's just that I'm not happy this morning. I feel... agitated. ornery. out-of-sorts. And I took it out on you. I don't know, maybe this crappy malaise is due to a lingering effect of Obama's visit to the "great 57th state" of Michigan yesterday, where he received a ringing endorsement from John Edwards (what a freakin' risk-taker, that Edwards. Nothing like waiting until it's obvious who will win the democrat nomination before throwing your full support behind them. Slimeball).
A gallon of gas at the pumps cresting over $4 per gallon yesterday hasn't helped brighten my mood either. If I had any discretionary income, I'd probably have to make tough decisions by cutting back on luxury items. Of course, I can't get by without my basic essentials (like golf, cigars, hair gel, balogna and thong underwear).
Nor did it help that the Detroit Red Wings finally lost to the Dallas Stars last night. I could blame this loss on the hard and disciplined play of the Stars. Or I could spew sour grapes by blaming the refs for being completely in the tank for the Stars last night, evidenced by the game's first goal by Datsyuk being erroneously waved off for goalie interferrence (more Swede prejudism against Holmstrom), thereby changing the pace and momentum of the game. No, I choose to correctly blame Monkeydarts for the Wings loss. You know why.
Maybe I'm bummed because the polar bear was just declared a threatened species because of "the global warmings". There is no doubt that this will be used by the socialists in this country who perpetuate the man-made global warming myth to further regulate carbon dioxide, thereby leading to economic collapse of capitalism, spreading to misery and dispair (your democrat platform, ladies and gentlemen). The real endangered species on the verge of extinction is the CONSERVATIVE Republican in the mold of the Great Ronald Reagan.
Or maybe I'm cranky because (Guilty pleasure admission alert) America voted and decided to boot Syesha Mercado off American Idol last night. This ticks me off, not so much because I enjoyed watching the beautiful Syesha (I did), but more because David Archuleta made the final cut. I hate this kid! All squinty-eyed and grinning like an idiot, with the "aw shucks" routine that has become more and more tiresome as the season progresses! Cook will beat him like a little toy drum next week, or so help me Sanjaya, I'll never watch again!
By the way, I switched to Idol during the intermission of the Wings game to watch the final tally. I turned back afterward and had missed the first 3 minutes of the third period and the goal by Zetterberg. He scored when I wasn't watching. Do you need more proof MD?
When I saw the score this AM on the ESPN News ticker I immediately thought, "Oh oh. That's my fault." I take full reponsibility. Now, do the right thing! The puck can't be that hard to see on a 9" B&W set, right? While you're at it, watch some friggin' Tigers games on that set too. It couldn't hurt.
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