'24,' Kiefer Sutherland Returning to Fox, Will Jack Bauer Soften with the Times?
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*
OBAMA: This better be good, you called me while I was in mid back swing and I'm under par.
JACK: Sorry Mister President. If it helps, you'll ALWAYS be under par to me. Anyways, I wanted to report a suspicious muslim person of interest at the Detroit Metro Airport who appears to have a pressure cooker in his backpack. May I shoot 'em in the thigh?
OBAMA: STAND DOWN Bauer!
JACK: But mister president...
OBAMA: There is no "there" there. Besides, we couldn't possibly get there, wherever "there" is, in time.
JACK: But I'm right here. Just give the order.
HILLARY: Ask him what difference at this point does it make!?
OBAMA: Mrs. Clinton says to ask you...
JACK: I HEARD HER! SIR, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!... Wait... Hillary is golfing with you?
OBAMA: Not hardly Jack. She just carries my water jug. Joe is keeping score. Did I tell you I was under par?
JACK: Mister president, he is now boarding the plane. What would you like me to do about the terrorist?
OBAMA: Terrorist?... EXACTLY! I want you to find the domestic Tea Party individuals who must be responsible for radicalizing this poor youth. Investigate whether there has been another one of those disgusting videos of the prophet made.
Jack "Shoot 'em in the thigh!" Bauer may be back, but is he really needed these days? I mean, didn't the 'Bamster single handedly defeat terrorism by outlawing the use of that word?
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