Apparently, today's top "front page worthy" stories include the outcry over a knocked-up lesbian chemistry teacher losing her job (and apparently custody of the classroom turkey baster), a vacant and decaying building in downtown Detroit getting a makeover (isn't that like putting lipstick on a Fluke?), and lastly - a heart-warming, human-interest story about Detroit satanists who promise not to sacrifice animals and people. (which moves the Detroit satanists to the superior moral highground over the near-by Dearborn muslim population).
Seriously? THESE are your top stories today? BTW, I pinky swear I did not Photoshop that front page.
The other thing I find of interest is the wording of the headlines, and how they attempt to project two concepts:
#1 THIS IS NEWS YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT, and
#2 THIS IS HOW/WHAT YOU SHOULD FEEL/THINK ABOUT IT.
Take, for example, the top story. The headline reads:
Support grows for gay teacher who says pregnancy cost her job
The wording is meant to get you to share in a collective outrage over the apparent homophobic and discriminatory treatment of this poor lady, and maybe even to "spur" you into action in joining the "outpouring of support and a social media and letter-writing campaign" against these archaic haters.
The article links to an online petition challenging you to STAND WITH BARB WEBB! A letter was sent to administrators, which reads in part:
...We ask that you change your policies around LGBT issues for staff and students. We want to know that all people associated with Marian will have a fair chance at success and happiness in their life no matter what sexual orientation they are. We would like to see a student LGBT group...
But what if the headline to this same story were to read:
Support grows for all-girls Catholic School in Bloomfield Hills releasing teacher who violated a morality clause with “lifestyle or actions directly contradictory to the Catholic faith”
That's right. Marian is a Catholic, all-girls school in Bloomfield Hills, with an annual tuition this year of $11,600. So let me be clear (as our illustrious Dear Leader likes to say) ...
I STAND WITH MARIAN!
According to new numbers from the USDA, the average cost of raising a child to the age of 18 has skyrocketed to $245,000. Almost a quarter of a $Million, and that's BEFORE college costs! That figure also assumes you "take advantage" of public education and Michelle Obama's free lunches. That figure DOES NOT include tuition to send your daughter to Marian. (I'm guessing Sandra Fluke and her expenses were also dropped from this study, as this amount wouldn't cover her annual cost of contraception).
As it is with all averages, some pay more and some pay less.
And that's my point. I STAND WITH MARIAN because $245,000 might be about how much the wife and I paid to cover the cost of our boy's hockey skates and ice times from their high school years, and maybe a bit towards their Catholic school tuition. Yes, the high cost of parochial secondary education, coupled with expensive extra-curricular activities is OPTIONAL. My wife and I had made the decision that our children's education was worth the additional substantial cost in order to avoid the State-controlled secondary indoctrination that amounts to, at best, a soft child abuse in my opinion.
I STAND WITH MARIAN HIGH SCHOOL, because it is a beautiful Catholic college preparatory school for young women, founded in 1959 and sponsored by the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Go to their website linked above and if you do nothing else, watch their promotional video on the right border titled "see why parents and students choose Marian."
STUDENT: "...I love the teachers. I can really look up to them, and I can learn so much from them."
So in conclusion, I have a solution, and it ties in ALL 3 STORIES mentioned at the top. If you are one of the parents or students who is outraged at Marian in their firing of this pregnant lesbian teacher, then by all means go visit the Detroit Satanists Progressive Prep High School for the morally corrupt and insane. That vacant building getting the makeover in downtown Detroit could house this new school. Maybe they would also be happy to start your little LBGLMNOP club of like-minded carpet munchers. In any case, I think you will find their "morality clause" more to your liking.
We, at Detroit Satanist High School promise not to let your little one's sacrifice go wasted!
"..bbb-but you promised not to sacrifice humans or animals?! *lip quiver*"
Thaaat's right, but we here at DSPP lie!
Don't forget this week's Friday night football game. Come out and support your Hell Devils while you still can!