Monday, October 20, 2014

New CDC Ebola guides "Buddy Up & Cover Up" Code named: Fluke Rules

New hospital guidelines for Ebola patients call for healthcare workers to cover up
The new guidelines are expected to set firmer standards: calling for full-body suits and hoods that protect worker's necks; setting rigorous rules for removal of equipment and disinfection of hands; and requiring a "site manager" to supervise the putting on and taking off of equipment.

New CDC Ebola guides, 
CODENAME: "FLUKE RULES"
"The guidelines also are expected to require a "buddy system" in which workers check each other as they come in and go out..."

Why "Fluke Rules?"
CDC REP: Why re-invent the wheel? Fluke has these "firmer standards" down to a science by now. Not sure who she has used as a site manager czar, but we will be taking her recommendations soon.

In other news, the CDC has refused to set a Fluke travel ban.

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A recent Chattering Teeth poll found that the majority of Americans support a travel ban to Sandra Fluke's old dorm room until such time as it can be sand blasted and smelted.

2 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

Well, we're used to the guvmint paying under the Fluke Rules.

DaBlade said...

Yep, Georgetown needs to pay for my hazmat too!