INSANITY FAIR

Full disclosure. I do a little freelance over at INSANITY. Probably NOT a huge surprise to regular Chattering Teeth News readers, as they would be considered "under suspicion" themselves. Here's a sneak preview of this month's feature!

DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS CORPSE OF SECLUDED MOTEL MANAGER'S DEAD MOTHER!

Full disclosure, part two. I should state here that Miss Sawyer was not exactly a 100% willing participant in this interview, as she was tied to a chair and forced to question a dried husk mummy corpse in a rocking chair, while Norman answered for his "mother" while sharpening a kitchen knife. I LOVE a good ventriloquist.

MOTHER: I’ve been thinking about this day forever. How do I tell my story?... Grab some tissue... and maybe a tourniquet for later.

SAWYER: So "mother" is...

MOTHER: Mother is sad. It's sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have years ago. He was always bad, and in the end he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man... as if I could do anything but just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds.

SAWYER: And Norman is...

MOTHER: Everybody has stuff in their life that they have to deal with you know? He is a psychopath stuck in his dead mother's clothing, but aside from that, he is a very good motel manager.

NORMAN: I’m me. I’m a person and this is who I am. I’m not stuck in my dead mother's dress. It’s just who I am as a psychopathic serial killer. My brain is much more rotting female corpse than it is male hotel manager. It’s hard for people to understand that. But that’s what my soul is.

NORMAN: I look at it this way. Norman always telling a lie. He’s lived a lie his whole life about who he is. And I can’t do that any longer. Should I take my collection of scalped ponytails on a rope out? Yeah, why not? We’re talking about all this stuff. Yeah, let’s take the damn collection of scalped ponytails on a rope out.

SAWYER: *lip quivering* C- c- can I g.g.g.go home now?

MOTHER: They know I can't move a finger, and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do... suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, "Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."