Tuesday, June 30, 2015

NEW Circle Twerk, from RumpCo!

VOICEOVER ANNOUNCER GUY: Are you tired of those intolerant and homophobic Christians on your FaceBook feed who cling to their deeply held religious convictions by so far refusing to "celebrate pride" by overlaying their profile pictures with the rainbow filter tool? Well now you can do something about it!

New! From RumpCo! Introducing the Circle Twerk!
It's retro 1950s technology consisting of a revolving color wheel and cellophane color inserts. Originally used to convert black and white TVs to color,


but now you can...
INSTANTLY CONVERT 
by force those pesky homophobic CHRISTIAN friends...

Just set the Circle Twerk wheel in front of your laptop, iPad, cellphone or other viewing device, and give that circle a twerk! INSTANT PRIDE!

JOHNNY: But announcer guy, there are only red, blue, green, and yellow cellophane inserts. The rainbow flag also includes orange and purple!

ANNOUNCER GUY: Just spin the Circle Twerk faster, Johnny. I have a warehouse full of these things, so I don't know what else to tell ya!

IT'S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

JOHNNY: UH OH! GRAMPA ISN'T WEARING ANY PANTS AGAIN!

ANNOUNCER GUY: Don't worry, Johhny! Grampa is just proudly displaying to the world and the 2% who are actually gay, his support of buggery and sodomy! The Supreme Court has ruled 5-4 declaring that same-sex marriage is a right, therefore the 75% who identify as Christian will just need to change their beliefs. Right Mr. President?

Whoops! Don't look now grampa, but I think Johnny dropped the remote control again!

COMING SOON! The Circle Twerk bicycle helmet mount!

6 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

I said don't post anything else unless it was better and you did!

Ed Bonderenka said...

Dude, I get a radio show, you are on it!

DaBlade said...

Haha! OK Ed, I'm gonna hold you to a few guest spots cuz I know you're on your way!

Sparky said...

Oh my gosh, if i was on Feces Book I would so totally post a link to this site! Circle Twerk?! *roflol* That's the deviants all right. I don't know how you keep surpassing yourself but you do. Hang tight fellow patriot and watch your corn hole. ~:)

DaBlade said...

Ha! Thanks Sparky, glad you laughed. And as for your advice, I am gripping the remote control very tightly :)

cube said...

OK, I'm still laughing.