Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Zeke's Fetch Fetish

This is our 9-month-old White Shepherd, Zeke.
Zeke is crouching by the back slider with his orange ball at his feet, doing his best to look pathetic and garner sympathy in the hopes that someone will find it in their heart to throw the ball so he can be a good boy and go get it and bring it back so one of us can pick it up and throw it in the yard so he can be a good boy and go get it and bring it back so one of us can pick it up and throw it so he can be a good boy and go get it...

ok, I'm guessing you get the picture. Zeke has a fetch fetish and the only prescription is more cow bell. And by 'cow bell', I mean 'pick it up and throw it so Zeke can be a good boy and go get it and bring it back so we can throw it again ad naseum, rinse and repeat'.

My arm hurts.

Zeke is very persistent with the crouch by the door. Why am I reminded of that Sarah McLachlan commercial? The one with the sad, abused, beaten and neglected dogs peering from the confines of their cage, while that Angel soundtrack tugs at your heart strings and McLachlan tugs at your purse strings.

Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan, will you be an angel for a helpless animal? Every day, his owners refuse to throw the ball in the yard for more than a few hundred times per hour, when all he wants is just one more throw so he can be a good boy and go get it and bring it back, so these neglectful owners can pick it up and throw it just ONE MORE TIME! Call now. For just sixteen dollars a month, (only 60 cents a day,) this good boy will get that one more throw he so much deserves... Your call says ‘I’m here to help.’ Please call right now.”

in the arms of the angel
fly away from here ball
from this cold dark doorstep
and the lost ball that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

4 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

I throw the ball and my dog just smiles at me.

Kid said...

You need one of These

Other simpler examples available.

DaBlade said...

Ed, He's messin' with ya.

Kid, Very nice! I'm afraid my dog would reprogram to throw rock grenades over the fence at neighbors dog.

WomanHonorThyself said...

oh I love that tune! LOL