Saturday, May 14, 2016

A JOINT STATEMENT FROM DONALD J TRUMP AND HIS PSEUDO SELF-MASQUERADING PUBLICIST, JOHN MILLER

Chattering Teeth News - I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Donald J Trump and his pseudo self-masquerading Publicist, John Miller for an exclusive interview.

BLADE: First off, thank you for doing this Mister Trump. I though John Miller was going to be joining us today?

JOHN MILLER: I'm right here, okay? And do me a favor. Call me MISTER Miller, Publicist for the great Mister Donald J Trump. It's just a thing, I worked so tremendously hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it.

BLADE: Errr... uh, Donald? All you did was shift in your chair and put your itty bitty tiny left hand in front of your mouth. I can tell that was you answering as if you were this John Miller character.

TRUMP: You’re telling me about it for the first time and that didn't sound like my voice at all, okay? I have many, many people that are trying to imitate my voice and then you can imagine that.

MILLER: This sounds like one of the scams, one of the many scams — he doesn’t sound like me.

BLADE: RIGHT THERE! You just did it again!

TRUMP: When was this, 25 years ago?

BLADE: It was literally less than 25 seconds ago, but whatever. So, Mister Trump... or Mister Miller... whomever it is I am now addressing. Please answer this question - It's 3am in the White House during a President Trump administration. The phone rings on the crisis hotline. Who answers the phone? John Miller?

TRUMP: Frankly, I can't promise that Madonna won't pick up the phone, okay? That I will tell you.

MILLER: But if the Kremlin's phone rings at 3am and the caller asks Russian President Putin if he has Prince Edwards in a can... that won't be Mister Trump, believe me.

BLADE: Well, we are out of time. Thank you... both for doing this.

A JOINT STATEMENT FROM DONALD J TRUMP AND HIS PSEUDO SELF-MASQUERADING PUBLICIST, JOHN MILLER

The United States cannot afford another twenty-five years with Donald Trump and John Miller masquerading as two separate entities. Donald J Trump is a very successful businessman and due in no small part to John Miller's efforts, which is why he has been paid a tremendous, tremendous amount of money over the years. That is why we have taken a very positive step toward unification, as I officially announce my running mate as John Miller. Trump/Miller 2016!

THE END

3 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

You are a reporting powerhouse!
Did you leak the tape, since Carswell says she lost her copy 25 years ago?
And who hold on to a tape like that for 25 yrs?
Except me of being on the radio.

DaBlade said...

That Miller dude has a screw loose.

DaBlade said...

Thanks, but it wasn't I who leaked the audio of John Miller. It was my blog publicist, Jack Spratt.