Saturday, February 10, 2018

Alien Wessel

When Elon Musk launched one of his expensive golf carts into space this week, I couldn't help but think about Star Trek: The Motion Picture. If memory serves, the antagonist in that flik was a defunct space probe known as V'Ger (formerly known as Voyager 6 before an assault of a millennia worth of radiation wore off some of the paint from the logo). At some point, V'Ger 's programming is taken over by a mechanical race of very stupid robots who send V'Ger back toward Earth in search of whales or something. In my proposed sequel, The Enterprise stumbles upon the Tesla Roadster as it is returning from deep interstellar space. I don't want to give too much away, but the Rd'Ster has somehow gotten it into it's programming to return to it's creator, threatening Earth unless it gets a tuneup and tire rotation. Spock eventually does a mind meld to the dummy pilot and somehow convincing it to allow him to change the radio station to something more of his liking. Sulu falls in love with the alien dummy driver because it, "has a pretty mouth."  You'll just have to buy a ticket for the exciting climax.

5 comments:

Jess said...

According to the news reports, ionizing radiation will destroy the car in a short period of time. This somewhat amazing, since space junkies have cried for a trip to Mars for years. It really doesn't make sense, since it's been known for years shielding is the major component of the trip that needs to be completely worked out. If it can destroy a car, frail humans are no match.

So, to save money, why not lower the amount of shielding and turn retired politicians into astronauts? There are plenty, and even if there's not enough, the pool of retired bureaucrats it huge. Think of the savings to public pension plans, and feelings of satisfaction, when a really crappy politician is sent to Mars.

I think I'll write NASA a letter. The experience of the former politicians, and their skill at verbal expression will lead to hours of interesting, and informative dialogue, as they travel to their final retirement home.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Jess. Think of the reduction of CO2 gases on earth, also!

Ed Bonderenka said...

How the heck did I ever miss that episode of Star Trek with a hip SpocK?

DaBlade said...

Jess, ionizing radiation will destroy the car in a short period of time... unless they splurged for the undercarriage radiation-proof protection. As to your point, space is a very dangerous environment. More dangerous than the womb of a democrat woman. Love the 'politicians to Mars' plan. We could entice them with the promise of carbon credits and poop grown potatoes.

Ed, YEP!!! are you telling me you never watched my favorite Star Trek 'Eden' episode? Yahhhh Brutha!

Kid said...

DaBlade, I am not interested in any climaxes as they relate to this story.

Jess, why wait for them to retire?