Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Flippy the Burger Flipping Terminator

A burger-flipping robot named Flippy is now cooking up hamburgers at a fast food restaurant called Caliburger... Flippy uses thermal imaging, 3D and camera vision to sense when to flip - and when to remove... The device also learns through artificial intelligence - basically, the more burgers that Flippy flips, the smarter it gets.

I don't know about you, but when I think of fast food workers, I think "artificial intelligence". So Flippy actually LEARNS? Well, WHO is actually doing the TEACHING?  How long before Flippy demands 15 bitcoins per hour? And if you insult him when placing your order, might you get a bolt burger with extra iron?

Flippy is out there, it cant be bargained with, it cant be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop flipping the patties...EVER, until your burger is perfect.

(WARNING - self-promoting 'best of' link forthcoming) 
After work, Flippy just likes to relax by Playing Basketball With Gang Bangers... 


"He couldn't jump, but he couldn't be stopped in the paint either. Not that he needed any layups. He was launching bombs from all over the court," said one winded gang banger through his bandana. "I'm like, 'hands up, don't shoot,' and 'I can't breathe,' but that mo fo just be drillin' it on us all day long!"


The final score - the police bomb robot 11, the BLM gang 0, but nobody seemed to care, as there were smiles and healing taking place in a community desperately in need of both.

THE END

6 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

"...smiles and healing taking place in a community desperately in need of both."
I love a happy ending.

DaBlade said...

This was an actual scene from Flint Town on Netflix. I still have 2 episodes to go. You watching?

Kid said...

Man, this could be what we've been waiting for. Peace, Love, Warmth, black gangbangers hugging white people. It could happen. Every movement you need starts on your shoulder with one person that is one of 57 identifiable genders and spreads like a viral instagram from facebook to snapchat and back to instagram, finally collapsing on a twitter feed in total euphoric post orgasmic nirvannalike stuff.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Not yet.

DaBlade said...

Kid, that is quite the social media malestrom. And it all begins with your 'diary' becoming state mandated required reading in all of our public schools.

Ed, I'd watch Ypsi Town, so...

Kid said...

Thanks Mr Blade ! I better bone up on my Orwell.