Friday, November 20, 2015

A Progressive and Sharia Family Thanksgiving!

The Progressive Family gathered around the television to watch the latest Hillary Clinton speech. 

HILLARY:Let’s be clear, though. Islam itself is not our adversary. Muslims are peaceful and tolerant people and have nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism.”

MR. PROGRESSIVE: Hillary's monotone, stilted and passionless speech pattern is very convincing. Honey, lets's invite our new neighbors, the Sharias, over for Thanksgiving dinner. They are recent Muzlim refugees from Syria, and I'm sure they could use a friend.

MRS. PROGRESSIVE: Since we don't celebrate the white privilege holiday called Thanksgiving, I assume you mean Native Americans Genocide Day. What a wonderful idea!

MR. PROGRESSIVE: Yah, sorry 'bout that. Hillary says that blaming radical Islamic terrorism for the Paris terror attack is not just a distraction, but gives these ISIS murderers more standing than they deserve. I don't know what ISIS or ISIL stands for, but I'm sure we can agree with Hillary that they have nothing to do with Islam.

MARY: My 6th grade teacher says it's all our fault and they're just mad at Bush and Cheney because of Global Warming.

Fast Forward to Thanksgiving, errr... I mean Native Americans Genocide Day...
MR. PROGRESSIVE: Little Billy, I told you not to smoke that weed in the house. The Sharias will be here soon. Go smoke it on the back porch son.

BILLY: Shut the F&*#@ up mister! You're not even my real dad!

MR. PROGRESSIVE: Fooled you Billy. You called me "mister" and I'm biologically not even a dude!

BILLY: Well, you called me "son" and yet I have girlie parts too. Who's the dumbass now?

Later... ***DING DONG***

MRS. PROGRESSIVE: Mary, will you get the door please. Our neighbors, the Sharias are here!

MARY: SHUT UP B#tch! I'm busy posting selfies to my Instagram.

MRS. PROGRESSIVE: Never mind honey. I'll get it. I sure hope the Sharias like Tofurkey, since we quit eating food that used to have a face.

Later, during dinner conversation...

MRS. PROGRESSIVE: Mrs. Sharia, that sure is an interesting fanny pack you have there. Since you are covered head-to-toe in a sheet like an old sofa in storage, you obviously don't need lip gloss or makeup. Just what do you carry in it?

MRS. SHARIA: Oh, don't worry. I have EVERYTHING I need for my Black Friday Mall shopping spree.

THE END (or near enough to it)

3 comments:

Fredd said...

Mary's 6th grade teacher is full of it. Everybody knows that the real scum bag behind all of this jihad stuff is not just Bush and Cheney: it's those ass wipe neo-cons who brainwashed Dubya in the first place: Paul Wolfowicz is the real bad guy here.

There go those progressive public school teachers, re-writing history again. When will it stop?

DaBlade said...

Hi Fredd, Thanks for stopping by. I must say, my Bush & Cheney comment was meant as a satirical throw-away line meant to mock the mindless libs who's neck veins pop at their mere mention, and that somehow they are to blame for all that has gone awry during o's destructive reign. Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of the Iraq war, but I am exponentially less a fan of the pullout, and of o's and Hillary's subsequent toppling of the middle east despots who were holding the izlamofascists in check. To somehow blame so-called neo-cons for today's ills? While I am on the topic of Bush, his dumba##ed Tarp explosion of big gov't in his 4th quarter is inexcusable. Infinitely wrong on its surface, it has also allowed Obama's talking points that he has decreased our deficits since he took over. What a load! Of course, the ignorant populace has no clue the diff btwn the deficit and the debt. Where are we now? $20 Trillion yet? That's not just "unpatriotic" in Obama's own words. That's treasonous. Back to Bush. He stays mute while Obama shreds the Constitution over the last several years, only to come out of verbal hibernation in order to trash Cruz? That said, neo-cons are not our problem. Obama and Hillary are today's problem. We need to stay focused on that fact.

Sparky said...

The guy in the hood with a knife looks like POTUS Dinglebarry's son.
Excellent satire as always DaBlade.