Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Campaign shorts

Jeb Campaign Resets For Fifth Time
I didn't actually read past the headline of that linked article. In fact, I think I started to nod off after the word 'Jeb". That said, this guy's campaign has been a disaster. If I were Jeb's (Zzzzz) image consultant in charge of this new 'reboot', I would insist Jeb answer all questions in future debates while speaking through a bullhorn. After all, it was the only time the American people galvanized behind his brother.  

Then again, if I were a political image consultant, I wouldn't be wasting my time with The Jebster. Ben Carson, however, is a very appealing candidate who just needs a few image adjustments. For example, why are his eyes closed all the time? Don't bother answering. I have the fix.

If you used to be a pediatric neurosurgeon who had to keep your eyes open for 12 to 15 hour stretches at a time, you also might take advantage of a little shut eye when you can get it.

As for these ongoing debate negotiations, I think we can all agree the liberal moderators need to be outfitted with shock collars set to stun, and controlled by the participants.

That is all.

9 comments:

Sparky said...

I have a pair of those funny glasses. Maybe I'll use them next time I'm suppose to look alert. ~:)

DaBlade said...

Ha! motorcycle goggles, Sparky?

I have other ideas for the candidates. For example, I believe Marco could be helped tremendously were he to borrow and wear Gene Simmon's stage platform shoes... and cape... and maybe makeup.

Kid said...

I like it. I think Carson is a tough guy, but doesn't come across as one.

Ed Bonderenka said...

I'm with Kid on this.
Speak softly and carry a big reflex hammer.

Kid said...

Thanks Ed. Speak Softly with Big Stick. I think that's the proven business model. And smile, smile, smile. People don't elect a scowler. carter smiled. clinton smiled, Reagen smiled. obama the imbecile smiled, Bob Dole didn't smile. gore didn't smile, kerry didn't smile.
If you don't make the kids feel like gingerbread cookies in a warm towel, placed in a woven basket, you ain't gonna win.

DaBlade said...

Ed, 'reflex hammer'. Excellent doctor humor to needle the libs.

Kid, I like Carson's plan to push ISIS back out of Iraq and into Syria. The guy impresses me that he would surround himself with excellent counsel and is smart as they come himself. And I agree with the smiling thing. I never thought of that until you listed the names. Of course, for some folks - smiling makes things worse. Think 'Pelosi'.

Then there is that one guy we all know who seems to always have an idiot grin on his face every time you see him. You call him 'smiley' behind his back. You know who I'm talking about.

cube said...

I prefer beer goggles myself, but I'll tell you what, there's not enough beer in the world to make me go after my mother's head with a hammer. Did you hear that sound? That's the disqualification buzzer going off for you, Dr. Carson.

DaBlade said...

cube, The media no longer gets to pick our candidate. Otherwise, they will "pick" them off one at a time with bogus crap until we are left with a president hillary. Not only do these latest attacks not disqualify him, I belive he is right in predicting a huge bump out of this.

cube said...

I'm not talking about what the Washington Post says. I'm talking about Dr. Carson's own admission. I find the hammer incident very disturbing. Don't get me wrong, if he's the GOP nominee, I'll vote for him over the dem nominee, but he's not my first choice.