Thursday, November 12, 2015

Starbucks Red Cup Twilight Zone

Starbucks' red cup controversy
Starbucks said the unadorned cup allows customers to put their unique drawings and message on it, but some say it’s one more way that companies are stripping the Christmas message from the holiday season.


Narrator: The place is here, the time is now, and the journey into the shadows that we're about to watch could be our journey.

Scene: Progressive Pete was out of town and unfamiliar with the landscape. He walks into what he believes to be the local Starbucks for his morning pick-me-up. But what Progressive Pete doesn't realize, is that instead of walking into the local Starbucks, he has entered straight into... the Twilight Zone.

Progressive Pete: I'd like a quad cap “skinny” Cinnamon Dolce, Trenta, Pumpkin Spice of course, but skip the whip silly! Oh, and a box of crayons so I can color interesting, yet politically correct secular progressive messages on my cup.

Nick "The Barista": Hey look, mister. We serve regular coffee in here in regular cups for folks who want to get caffeinated fast, and we don't need any  well-groomed, scarf-wearing metrosexual characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?

Scene: A shocked and confused Progressive Pete starts to sob from Nick's apparent aggression. Pete looks around for support, but does not see anyone wearing earbuds or looking at their phones. All of the patrons, both young and old, were instead conversing and smiling with those around them. This direct human interaction was disorienting to Progressive Pete.

It was then that he noticed the message "Merry Christmas" stenciled onto the picture window. HORRORS!!! VIOLATION!!! OFFENDED ALERT!!! With this, he panicked and ran from the coffee shop and directly into the path of a city bus. 

When Progressive Pete awoke on the sidewalk, he clearly was no longer living in Obamaville. He stumbled thru a busy town, where there was actual commerce and employment happening all around! "What, no rioting?," he thought. He saw moms and dads and kids, and they were walking on the sidewalks together. Pete looked up and down the block, but instead of seeing tattoo parlors or Planned Parenthoods, he saw diners, hardware and clothing stores and a couple of Christian churches! Very strange. There were no ornamented transgendereds, just ornamented Christmas trees. And a NATIVITY SCENE on the grounds of City Hall?! There were lights and songs! Instead of vacant stares, Progressive Pete saw actual joy and love...

It was then, Progressive Pete woke up back in Obamaville.  He had experienced strange and wonderful things and wanted to go back. But like it or not, Progressive Pete was stuck in Obamaville... at least for now.  In the meantime, might as well enjoy a cup of virgin fetus blood from Starbuck's new collectible cup.

11 comments:

Alec said...

Tasteless! but true...

DaBlade said...

Thanks for stopping by Alec. I've certainly never been accused of being PC. Sorry to make you cringe, but it's never been my goal to make the left comfortable. God Bless!

Alec said...

Less PC is a good step in the right direction.

See you around the Twilight Zone...

Alec

Ed Bonderenka said...

clarence! Save me!

Sparky said...

"Picture if you can, a world without progressives ..." Ah, yes, HEAVEN! You're a master at capturing the truth and revealing it with a smile. Thanks DaBlade. ~:)

DaBlade said...

Ed, I must love It's a Wonderful Life. I post sometime with that theme every year. Of course, this Clarence would be a great guardian angel.

Sparky, THANKS! For the record, I couldn't care less what Starbucks does or doesn't do with their stupid cups. I don't go there because their coffee is horrible and over priced. The only folks I saw getting fired up about this fake cup issue were the seculars themselves. That said, it cannot be argued that Christians and Christianity are under assault in every direction we turn.

cube said...

Next stop Willoughby ;)

Kid said...

Lol. Love the satan cup !

Z said...

BRILLIANT!!!

DaBlade said...

HAHA! Thanks, all. I have Nick "The Bartender" on retainer so I might as well use him.

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